Does Mel White Really Care?

[shortfarmboy]

I have contacted Mel White several times by electronic mail and once leaving a voice message on his phone with no response from him personally. I have often wondered how could a man who devotes so much of his energy to fighting for the cause of rights for homosexual persons not have time to chat with a person who is struggling to understand their feelings. I want to hear from somebody who has been there during a period of history when it was even more difficult to be gay. I am just extremely disappointed and basically heartbroken after making three or four attempts at contact -- a quick response was made by e-mail and Mel gave his contact phone number, I called and left a message by no follow up from Mel White or representatives from Soul Force. I am glad that I personally have never been in a desperate situation over the matter or it would have been a sad conclusion to this post. I pray that others seeking to contact him for emergency guidance, advice and/or anything - representatives from the general gay community will be able to direct them in the right directions. Please don't misunderstand me -- I completely understand that Mel White is a busy person, but how busy is too busy to care! :(


Sadly Confused and Hurt,
Robbie Irby
Gladys, Virginia
robbieirby@embarqmail.com

[sailaway58]

He doesn't run a crisis hot line.

[tdogg]

Mel White has set up this wonderful forum, which is an ideal way to connect with GLBT and supporters. You'll find many compassionate and understanding friends here, including those whose life journey's may be very similar to yours. Glad you found your way here, and hope you choose to take advantage of this incredible forum which Mr. White has gifted us all with.

Welcome!!

[antonyh]

You're welcome to call me. I'm not Mel White but I've been around the block a few years. Send me a PM and I'll give you my phone number in Chicago.

Mel does care, he is just a busy guy.

Hang in there OK!

[NathanATX]

Dear Robbie,
Most of the wonderful people on this forum have either experienced what you're going through, are experiencing it now, or know someone who has been where you're at.

Rev. Mel is doing this work on a world-wide scale and has commissioned us... you and I... with the responsibility of doing this work on a personal one-on-one basis.

I believe in the "pay-it-forward" concept. When you make it through a difficult time, you now have skills, insight, and compassion that may help someone else in a difficult time... so that's what we do here. We embrace those who are struggling, hurt, angry and frustrated... and we walk with them until they are happy & healthy again... confident that God loves them just as they are.

Stay involved here. We will all walk with you.

Peace,
Nate Black
moderator

[keltic63]

Robbie,

Mel cares very deeply, not just about you, but the thousands of other young people that certain groups in our society would simply cast out. Take a look at this 17 Step Journey (http://www.soulforce.org/article/530) and read the story in Steps 11 & 12. Think of Mel as the "Shero" in that story, he is looking to end the suffering at the source, while others, like those of us here, are helping the ones who have been thrown into the river and left to drown. Mel does indeed care, but he is working at a different level than we are. There are so many here who can help you, if you allow us.

[TigerXero]

Plus, if you want to hear about Mel White's story, you should check out or buy his book Stranger at the Gate: To Be Gay and Christian in America. Mel White has written this book to tell people about his story, and as said above, these forums are a place where you can come and talk. If I can be critical for a second, I think it's rude to expect someone to just sit down and have a chat with you and feel hopeless because they won't when there are other resources available to help you. Logistically, Mel White wouldn't be able to do the work he does if he had to stop and chat with everyone who wanted to talk to him; he did, however, write his book and create these forums, which function in the same way as if you were to sit down and chat with him. In that way, he is trying his best to reach out to people AND do the work he does at a higher level. I would also guess that Rev. White's speciality is not in helping people understand their feelings anymore than that of the people on these forum, so you should definitely talk to some of the people here because I KNOW for a fact that there are people who have gone through the same thing you are describing and who can give you advice on that matter. ({*Ahem*, :whistleblower: Calling Zerbie!} Actually, I believe any of us can help you there, but I remember Zerbie having really good insight from her own experiences.)

I hope this didn't come across too harshly, but, as I said, I think it would be great if you could field your questions, concerns, etc. to those eof us here and the forums, and I know we'll more than gladly discuss whatever you may be going through with you.

[pnggrad79]

Mel's father passed away recently and has been dealing with that. So if he doesn't respond to you, he is going through the grieving process and having family time to mourn this loss. I am sure he does care as he has done so much for glbt rights and issues in this country. Please don't take his non-responsiveness as a lack of caring about your or your issues. Please remember, too, he is human and has very real feelings and is dealing with a very real loss at this time.

There are many organizations to help you. PFLAG, for one. Don't just single out one person as the be all, and end all of the answers. Mel is just one person, but we need to stick together and help each other out. This forum is a great resource for that. We want to help.:)

[Zerbie]

They've all said it - Mel White cares greatly. There are many ways in which an individual in Mel's position can easily be overwhelmed, right now or at any time. If he gave you a phone contact #, he intended for you to call it, so if no one responded, you might try calling a second time. Having recently had my first taste of organizing a direct action, I was ASTOUNDED by how it ate up all my time and how I no longer was able to spend time chatting with individual friends and even my family for a while. Mel is doing so on a much larger scale than I did - he wouldn't try so hard if he didn't care enormously. But for personal connection, jump out there and see who you can find. There are a lot of understanding people.

The best suggestion is to utilize the resources of all these people here on the forum. You can post your questions and concerns in a general way, see what kind of responses you get, and if you really connect to someone, you can see if that individual has some time to chat with you via Private Message if you prefer that to public broadcasting of your questions.

Hi Tiger, I see you: I don't know that my experience or insight is particularly special, it's unique and it's my own, and it's posted somewhere on this forum. There are many others as well who have had journeys - someone here is bound to relate somewhat to FarmBoy.