I'm supposed to give to God but...

[drewcaine]

...after realizing what the so-called Christian churches do with your money, it kinda makes you skeptical. I mean, I don't mind giving ten percent of my two-hundred and something dollar paycheck, really. I know the general idea of that concept from Malachai (if that's how you spell it). However, I do believe that God wants us to use our heads though, so until I figure out what to do, that money will just have to sit in a li'l plastic bag for a good while.
Do you guys have any great ideas?

I was about to click submit when I decided that I should let you guys know what's going on. I know I've been gone for a while, it's the result of a subconsciously hostile household and work and college (although college is an leave for a few weeks). I'm also very lonely, VERY very lonely. I've been thinking about how nice it would be to just fall asleep in a young man's arms right now. Yeah, I'm not even thinking about what I's typing, but this makes me feel better...it shows me what's really troubling me. I know I dodge a lot of bullets and piercing arrows of truth a lot-maybe even a few guillotines-but I'm not really that jovial on the inside. I act like it sometimes, but seriously, what else is there to do? Every damn person I know is irresponsible (or maybe its just me)- no matter what I do I can't hang or do anything with anyone. I've been trying to have just one, ONE legitimate tryst with Diego, but no matter how hard or truthful I try to be there's always some stupid reason why he can't come over to me residence. When I say tryst, I really mean just visiting outside of school. I've wondered if he's gay. I don't know, I really don't want to care anymore.
I think my nuclear (close blood) family has excommunicated me, oh well. I've everything to the best of my abilities, but tightroping was even hard for Peter (the guy who fell in the lake, I believe). I have a lot of faith in my opinion, and I am ridiculed for venturing to actually learn about how everything works. I'm tired of listening to those eff'd up remarks about "be good to your wife when you get married", it pisses me off so much! Still, I will not allow my self to hurt my grandparents in any way, I would never do that deliberately. I just...I just want to be somewhere where I feel safe and secure. I'm tired of dealing with that. If I had a truly good-natured friend I'd seriously consider moving in with that person, I'm sure I could support my side of everything with my job. Gosh, I'm surprised I even passed my first semester of college with all of this crap going on. That's proof enough that there is a God.
I still believe that somewhere out there God has the very special person for me who will one day complete my life, and I honestly can't wait for that moment. From the looks of it now I still have too long to go, but I guess I have to keep trying, that's all that we can really do. I've recently read What the Bible Really Says about Homosexuality, and that's enough to prove to everyone that homosexuality and heterosexuality are the same thing and part of God's plan for most people. Why won't they assert this information and finish this damn strife off?!
I'll go now, and thanks for reading again.

:'(drewcaine:'(

[keltic63]

drew! glad you came back to update us! I'd been wondering about you, even posted in one of your old threads hoping for an update. You sound stressed, but truthfully, in all that stress, you're sounding healthy and with a positive attitude about yourself. I'm encouraged, even if you feel like you're wrestling.

tithing: it's great to give that 10% back to God.....no one says that it has to go to a church ;) the church isn't "God" and you may choose to send your tithe where you think it will help do the work of God. sometimes I give cash to people I know are in need. sometimes I buy things for my church and instead of turning in the receipt for reimbursement, I just view the purchase as part of my offering. there are plenty of charities that are doing God's work, even if they aren't officially a religious organization. if your money goes to help a group show love and kindness to the poor and outcast, you are indeed doing God's work. Don't worry that your tithe isn't being filtered by an "official" franchise for God.

[drewcaine]

Oh, really? I never knew that! I just thought that if it's not going to a church then you're not doing it right...well, I know plenty of people who need help. I appreciate this new knowledge greatly.
Well, just knowing that I'm not supporting anymore homophobic material makes me feel better.
Yeah, I know that stress is inevitable and that God has certain challenges personalized for you, it's just that when I think about how my family's become a negative force in my life...I don't know. I'll handle it with caution, though.
Thanks Keltic^_^
drewcaine

[antonyh]

Hang in there friend. I noticed from your profile that you do game design and graphic art, etc. Have you ever thought about going to college and studying that? I just graduated from DePaul University and they have a fantastic program in Game Design, Digital Cinema, Computer Graphics and Animation, etc. It would be a way to get to a place where you could potentially meet people. Chicago is a very gay friendly place.

Here is the link to the school:

http://www.cti.depaul.edu

[Pablo Rafael]

Drew,

I firmly believe that God has given us much, and that it is a joy to give back to him. But I will agree with the other who have said that giving to God is not the same as giving to a church. We can give to God in many ways outside of an organized church. I stopped giving to our Bishop's Diocesan Fund when the bishop told the parishoners to vote for the anti-gay marriage amendment and against the civil unions amendment here in Colorado. It went against my conscience to give to something that went counter to what I believe is the will of God. I still do give to God in other ways; I think that is important.

I still believe that somewhere out there God has the very special person for me who will one day complete my life, and I honestly can't wait for that moment. From the looks of it now I still have too long to go, but I guess I have to keep trying, that's all that we can really do.

Though decades separate you and I in age, I think we feel the same. I am convinced that God will connect me with the person that he has chosen for me. But the wait does seem long. I have to tell myself to be patient and let God work.

Tu Amigo, Pablo

[Zerbie]

Drew, your obvious smarts and healthy attitude show through even now when everything sounds like it s*cks. Keep hanging on! Never give up. As long as you are doing good things and trying to make life better for all, you are setting things up to be much better some day on all levels: family and boyfriends, both.

:love::love:

The guys are correct: the church is not God. I like thinking of what Jesus told people - that when they fed the hungry they fed him. THAT's the real church, feeding him that way. So if your conscience says not to give to an organized church right now, give to God in the form of a classmate who is going through a tough time and can't afford to buy food today, or donate to a charity like the Red Cross. Whatever your conscience whispers is the right gift to give.

[NathanATX]

Regarding giving...
I agree with everything said so far. Organized religion stresses me out. I'm constantly wondering about the effectiveness of my money when given to a church. Is it meeting real needs? Is it providing real leadership and vision? Is it offering an unconditional embrace?

As a businessman, I look at like an investment. Before I invest, I research.

So with a church or other nonprofit, the first thing I do is participate in the events, ministries, etc., and get to know people. If this is a healthy, meaningful community that provides a place of transformation, then I'm on board and start giving financially. Then I get acquainted with the business side of things by attending board meetings, reviewing budgets and financial reports. If I don't like the way things are going, I either promote the desired changes or run for the board to effect those changes myself.

I honestly feel that my time and leadership are worth much more than my tithe.

I often use my giving in a way that encourages healthy, systematic giving in the rest of the church members. For example, I'm providing $500.00 in matching dollars for our youth to participate in MCC's first Youth Mission Trip.

For 2008, my focus will be getting the church to start an endowment fund. Our current budget is less than $40,000/yr. If we were to raise $400,000 and put it in an endowment that provided 10% to the church annually, it would mean that we could guarantee our church's long term, if not permanent success.

Another local church, All Souls Unitarian, has their members on monthly checking account drafts for their regular giving. So the church never has to take up offerings for the day-to-day operations of the church. Every offering they take up goes to nonprofits outside the church. It has created an immense culture of generosity in the church.

Regarding your personal life...
For me the struggle is to maintain a sense of peace and trust that everything is and will always be ok. If I'm single or not. If I'm broke or not. If I'm sick or not.

I really want the right guy that the universe has been preparing me for. Sometimes I get impatient. (ok... that's an understatement) Sometimes, when I'm feeling lonely, I find myself willing to put up with a guy about whom my inner self is frantically waving red flags around.

Here's what I do. When I find myself down in the dumps about being single. When I embarrass myself because the only guy I ask out happens to be happily married (to a woman) and has three great kids. When someone I'm interested in treats me like a yo-yo, only returning calls when he wants to go out. (I could go on...)

My self-awareness is growing and now, when all that mess is going on, I know that my soul is telling me that it needs some TLC. It is telling me that I need to be around people that love and care for me. My soul is saying that I need to take care of myself. So I surround myself with my family, my family of choice, my friends, etc. I actually tell them, "I've been feeling down lately and need to be around some people who love me." When I remind myself that I am truly not alone, I can take a deep breath... and begin to find my inner source of strength and love again.

And when that little flame is burning, it not only makes me remember who I am because I can see myself clearly, but it is like a powerful magnet. I have met some of my most amazing friends when I personally was feeling very grounded, centered and loved.

And I have a feeling... that when that flame is burning constant and bright enough, I will encounter a man whose soul-flame burns equally bright and beautiful... and that will be another story... :love:

[Alecto]

I thought this (http://365gay.com/opinion/Neff/neff.htm) might be relevant.

[paul]

Hey Drew,

Tithing, like so many other things spoken of in the bible, has been taken captive and exploited by people with an agenda that God apparently won't support. Jesus corrected the legalists of his time on many subjects. The one that pops into my mind is about the sabbath. Jesus explained that the sabbath was made for people, not people made for the sabbath. And so it is with all things from God. The fact of the matter is, if you do a study on tithing you will find that one of the ways the tithe was practiced was to take the tithe and use it to prepare a feast and celibrate. You never hear that taught, do you? So much of what we see in church's today is really an expression of unbelief. You have to wonder, if God truly supports the program (whatever it may be), won't God provide (whether it be through people or not)?

A basic tenant of Christianity is that you are "bought with a price...", wholly owned by God. i.e., everything you own belongs to God already. But as with the sabbath, giving was made for people, not people made for giving. if that makes any sense :rolleyes:

[drewcaine]

Well...I appreciate the comments, although it left a little bit of confusion...however, I'll agree with giving for the good cause part, it makes sense. time for another posto_O
drewcaine

[ladyinred]

I don't know about tithing however I have given to what I consider worthy causes, or to people, and sometimes people on the street who are homeless. I'm not rich by any means but I did give ten bucks to the salvation army and also money to the vets this Xmas.What about food banks? Those are often in short supply, that would be a good place to give to. I would also say that if tithing seriously cuts into your budget where you can't afford to pay your own bills, I seriously doubt that God would ask you to do that but to give what you could afford, or even volunteer your time or something. on my budget(Call it the poor man's budget,LOL), even though there are organizations I'd like to give more to, I can't. I try to give what I can.If there are other ways I can help I 'd like to but I don't always know exactly what and how to do that.