It's not going very well...

[drewcaine]

Well, last night my grandma called my mom at work (in Kentucky) and she apparantly told my grandma that I had told everyone about me being gay. However, she only told my grandma that I had told them a "secret", but refused to disclose to my grandma that I was actually gay. Forgive me Father, but I'm highly eff'n pissed at her now.
So now my grandma's been frikin hounding me about this crap, and quite frankly I'm getting quite tired of it. She told me that it is her business to know what's going on and that she doesn't want to be "left in the dark".
Well, guess what? God will give you what's due to you! If you spreak ignorance, then by damn you will get ignorance in return. What goes around comes around. Do you think that I wasn't isolated when you told me that you'd throw me from your house if I turned out to be gay? I was left in the dark!
I might be able to forgive Jennifer, but honestly, after what she did, I don't want to look to her for anything else anymore. I mean it. She already abandoned me, what other use do I have for her?
It was so bad last night that I even had to wake Dan up and talk to him, he was the only person I could reach or even trust (he's gay as well). Before all of this I had planned to invite him for my birthday event; of course I had to let him know that my grandma does not like "our kind of people". I planned to go out to eat somewhere and possibly bring my vids over to his place to play, if he didn't mind. I wasn't about to have the "advocate of the Religous Right" harassing him or his boyfriend, I simply won't tolerate that.
Right now I feel that the only place that's comforting to me is Sweet Bay and my LFC group-awkward, eh? (in fact I'm still at S.B. right now, even after I clocked out...I don't want to go back to the houseo_O)
Help...please...
drewcaine

[Pablo Rafael]

Drew,

I can't give you any helpful advice. But know that you are not going through this alone. You have support from those of us here; we might be in that nebulous world of cyberspace, but there are people here who care.

Tough times will pass, though they are not easy. I am also in the "coming out" process. It is a mountain that we have to get over. I pray that future generations will not have to deal with the prejudice that we have to deal with.

Don't forget that God also is with you in all this. I will keep you in prayer.

Tu Amigo, Pablo

[drewcaine]

I am grateful. It's hard, but I constantly tell myself that I'm responsible for staying on the right path, even if it's hard...or something like that.
thanks much,
drewcaine

[Zerbie]

I'm sorry Drew. And I'm sorry I don't have suggestions or help for you.

But I wanted to post some hugs and a friendly reminder to never give up hope for better.

Sorry you're going through such a rotten time.

:love::love::love::love::love:
:pray:

[pnggrad79]

Drew,
I know how you feel. I am so sorry but I know it hurts like hell because the Religious Right likes to make us feel miserable. I came out to my sisters first and they told my brother, who hasn't spoken to me in almost 5 years. Then my sister begged me not to tell my mom, telling me it would kill her. I called my mom and she asked me and I told her I was a lesbian. She told my dad, who proceeded to call and preach at me for 2 hours. Since then, I have been banished from all family gatherings, and my parents forgot my birthday twice and this year sent a card with "I love you, but you will stand before God for your lifestyle." So, I may not be able to identify exactly with your situation, I know the family ostracism and wholesale rejection that gay people face.

Fortunately, I have set about creating a family of other gay people who have been cast out of their families. It is good to be together with people who understand you and have been where you've been.

I want to encourage you to as much as you can right now, realize you aren't going to change your grandma's mind. There is nothing short of a miracle that will. If you are a part of a church, gather them around for support. Make yourself a part of a community that has been there and will be able to help you through this.

If she calls and wants to berate you or preach at you, politely say "I love you, Grandma, but this is who I am. Please call back when you are less angry and upset" and hang up.

I hope I have helped. I don't mean to tread on your feelings. I know this hurts. We are here for you. Whatever you do remain calm and don't respond with anger. It will get you nowhere.

[sailaway58]

I am so sorry when I read these situations. I do not understand this conditional love. I understand disappointment, time needed to understand, but the rejection is so sad and for what ever reason, generally, we all seek love and approval from family. drewcaine, you are in my prayers today. May you know Gods love for you is unconditional.
Tim

[drewcaine]

Thanks everyone...it makes me feel somewhat better.
I don't think God would approve of a lifestyle that revolves around murdering and excommunicating people either-these people need to understand.>_>
thanks,
drewcaine