Somebody

[tpdncr4christ]

This kinda popped up from the "mating" thread and I haven't written in a long time so its kinda nice. Let me know what you think (you guys are my most critiquing, and therefore favorite, audience).

Anyone can be a “someone”
But I want to be someone’s someone
You know you’re never a someone
Until you’re a two

Anybody can be a “somebody”
But I want to be somebody’s somebody
You know you’re never a somebody
‘Til they’ve met you.

I want to be the someone
you go too
To cry and to laugh
To sing and to shout
I want to be somebody
Who will never run out

Just give me the chance
I promise I swear
I’ll be the somebody
Who always is there

I want to be the one
The only
The yell at scream at hold on too
Only

I’m done being one
I want to be two
It’s just a matter of time
And a matter of who

And if a Prince I want
A prince then I’ll be
I’m gonna be somebody’s somebody
And they’ll be somebody to me.

A poem by AJ Turner

[Daniel]

Really. It is. That how I read it. I can imagine several styles of music being set to it: the uptempo 20's kinda of thing, or even the slow torchy wail into the dark of the night approach, sung by Tony Bennet or Barbara Cook (who I heard sing with the NY Phil a few nights ago....and I cried and cried....just got to my heart....and she's 80!)

You are Hart looking for a Rogers, Ebb looking for Kander (who's house I can see from my back window btw). Then again- if you write music as well, you might be looking for your inner Sondheim- he does both lyrics and music.

Technical ruminations:

1) Try being more judicious with the articles. How would you feel if the first stanza was...


Anyone can be “someone”
But I want to be someone’s someone
You know you’re never a someone
Until you’re two

2) This stanza might benefit from dropping a word ..


I want to be the one
The only
Yell at scream at hold on too
Only

3) Just thinking.....the last line could be "No more lonely". See? Another rhyme like you've used in stanza 3....with the full recognition that it really does make the piece 'torchy'.

4) And back tracking a bit....how about this...


Just give me the chance
I promise, I swear
I’ll be the somebody
Who's always there

Oh.....I'm fiddling with another man's 'art'. (Pun alert!) And that's a risky business.

I think your piece is absolutely wonderful- Mr. Somebody.