Poetic Reflections

[Pablo Rafael]

When I get emotional I have a tendency to write. Usually it is just long rambling frustrations that I would never show anyone else. I save them all for some reason, however.

Occasionaly I write something that is a bit better thought-out. I know it is self-indulgent, but I thought I would share a few poems. And today is a snow day from school so I have lots of unexpected time. :) Maybe some of you can relate or share some thoughts of your own.


SHARDS OF A BROKEN MIRROR
A "coming out" poem

The mirror
broken into shards of glass.
My life
in pieces.

But now for the first time I actually look into that mirror
In those broken pieces -
a reflection that I had never before dared to look upon.
A reflection that had always been obscured
by doubt and denial
a mist from within.

I pick up one piece
then another.
One says "peace"
another "companionship"
another "love".

Those pieces
assembled into something new
A life no longer broken.
Reborn.


SILENCE

This day the sunrise waits
Smothered by silence
Where no room exists
for love
for laughter
No outlet for sorrow
No healing for pain

Silence
an emotional midnight
oppresses the soul
No attack ever so brutal
as the emptiness that settles
the fog that envelopes.
My soul looks in vain through that fog
for a connection
a friend
a touch
a kiss

Around me settles silence
a foe without form
undefeatable.
All possibilities suffocated
All dreams dead.

On this day when the sun refuses to rise
silence reigns.
There is no hope
no joy
no love.
Silence kills all.




BLUE-GREY EYES

Blue-Grey eyes
Capture the heart.
As they wrap me in their grasp
the world ceases to be.
the entire universe,
my universe,
is contained within their embrace.
And for that moment
All my problems vanish
As I fall into the blue-grey depths
Never wanting to return.



THE SEARCH

God, I ask
I look
I search.
What is your plan?
I long to be loved
and to love.
A heart chained for so long
fastened from within.
How long was the wait
to destroy those chains
and sever the links of bondage
with which I had bound myself for so long.

But now the heart set free
Looks
but knows not where
Searches
but for whom?

"It is not good that man should be alone," You say.
But where is that love?
Where is the man chosen for me?

My heart
in anticipation
now searching
exploring
Finds no one.

God, I ask You,
for my heart is fragile
and it knows not where to look,
Do the search for me.

[BenL]

Dear, dear friend, these are so beautiful. I won't try to comment. They speak for themselves, and anything I say would dilute their impact.

So, now we know you can write fantasy and poetry. What else have you been keeping from us ... hmm?

[antonyh]

Thank you for sharing your poetry. They are beautiful. You really have a great gift worthy of cultivation.

[Zerbie]

:(:(
Those poems really convey the loneliness. The depth of it.
:(

I especially liked the first poem, and the blue-grey eyes.

[Pablo Rafael]

:(:(
Those poems really convey the loneliness. The depth of it.

I have a tendency to write when I'm down. If my stack of writing exists after I am dead and gone, people who read them will think I'm was perennially depressed. Actually I am generally an upbeat person.

I must say, however, that loneliness is a thread the weaves its way through my life. When I was in the closet and resigned to always being single, I had convinced myself that I was just fine with being alone. Now I realize that I was never content with that.

I don't know if other gay men are in the same situation. I just don't connect with straight men. I can work well with them, but there never seems to be a friendship that ever develops. I get along better with women, but almost all the women I am around are married. They don't have any interest in hanging around with a single guy. There just seems to be an absence of people to connect with.

I know, I'll get a dog! That will solve it.

Now I'm sounding really pathetic...sigh!

Pablo

[Zerbie]

I have a tendency to write when I'm down. If my stack of writing exists after I am dead and gone, people who read them will think I'm was perennially depressed. Actually I am generally an upbeat person.

I must say, however, that loneliness is a thread the weaves its way through my life. When I was in the closet and resigned to always being single, I had convinced myself that I was just fine with being alone. Now I realize that I was never content with that.

I don't know if other gay men are in the same situation. I just don't connect with straight men. I can work well with them, but there never seems to be a friendship that ever develops. I get along better with women, but almost all the women I am around are married. They don't have any interest in hanging around with a single guy. There just seems to be an absence of people to connect with.

I know, I'll get a dog! That will solve it.

Now I'm sounding really pathetic...sigh!

Pablo

You need to find a married gal whose husband has a really busy career, to hang out with! :lol:

My DH spends a lot of time at work, etc., so I spend some weekends with single gay friends, or on the internet. :lol::p

[scott snedeker]

Beautiful wrirng without being sappy! not an easy task! Keep it up!