Advice/support needed

[BenL]

The following post was submitted to the Soulforce (http://www.glee.com/groups/group.html?group_id=1605) section of Glee.com. I have the poster's permission to post it here, and I promised to send him a link to the replies.

His name is PHalliwell and he posted this question on the bulletin board of the group FightOutLoud.Org:
"Hi group my name is Dylan. Last summer i was dating this one guy named Micheal and kids from school saw me with him during the county fair and they saw him and me kissing and then the next school year they must have took pictures of it and they made copys and passed them around the school and they teased and tormented me. I just ignored it and the past month i had thought about suicide. I need suggestions on how to deal with this. Because of this problem It cost me mybofriend and my friends trust. Now I'm single what a life! "

I hope some of the younger members will also chime in on this.

[HarmlessEccentric]

You have a legal right not to be harassed. If it's happening at school, the school has a legal obligation to protect you from harassment- that means that if they don't sincerely work to protect you from it, you can sue them.

But in order to get the protection, you have to ask for it, and you might even have to demand it. Go directly to the principal. Explain yourself clearly. Give names, specific details, and any evidence you might have. Explain that the harassment is having a serious negative effect on your ability to learn. Follow up with the principal EVERY time you are harassed after that. Make notes of when you talk to the principal, what he/she says, and what he/she does about the problem. This is easier to do if you aren't closeted at home; I don't know what your situation is.

Don't kill yourself. Killing yourself in high school is stupid, because you know for sure that it will end in a few years, and then you can go where you want and do as you choose. Enduring in the meantime really, really sucks, but being dead lasts way longer than the last two years of high school. For some ways to avoid killing yourself in the meantime, I recommend the book "Hello, Cruel World." If you're serious, then it's a good idea to talk to some adult you trust- school counselor, gay-friendly pastor, teacher, parent, etc. Make it through high school, get the grades, and then get your ass to a large state university somewhere in or near a city.

As for the lost boyfriend... that sucks. Be sad. But most relationships end, until you're lucky enough to find one that doesn't. That large state university will have a gay student organization chock-full of handsome college boys. So watch sappy movies, eat ice cream, listen to kd lang music ... okay actually, I have no idea what men do when they break up, but I assume they have some parallel traditions.

[BenL]

You have a legal right not to be harassed. If it's happening at school, the school has a legal obligation to protect you from harassment- that means that if they don't sincerely work to protect you from it, you can sue them.

But in order to get the protection, you have to ask for it, and you might even have to demand it. Go directly to the principal. Explain yourself clearly. Give names, specific details, and any evidence you might have. Explain that the harassment is having a serious negative effect on your ability to learn. Follow up with the principal EVERY time you are harassed after that. Make notes of when you talk to the principal, what he/she says, and what he/she does about the problem. This is easier to do if you aren't closeted at home; I don't know what your situation is.

Don't kill yourself. Killing yourself in high school is stupid, because you know for sure that it will end in a few years, and then you can go where you want and do as you choose. Enduring in the meantime really, really sucks, but being dead lasts way longer than the last two years of high school. For some ways to avoid killing yourself in the meantime, I recommend the book "Hello, Cruel World." If you're serious, then it's a good idea to talk to some adult you trust- school counselor, gay-friendly pastor, teacher, parent, etc. Make it through high school, get the grades, and then get your ass to a large state university somewhere in or near a city.

As for the lost boyfriend... that sucks. Be sad. But most relationships end, until you're lucky enough to find one that doesn't. That large state university will have a gay student organization chock-full of handsome college boys. So watch sappy movies, eat ice cream, listen to kd lang music ... okay actually, I have no idea what men do when they break up, but I assume they have some parallel traditions.

Harmless is right. Losing a boyfriend sucks, but the experience is nearly universal in love, something we share with straight people ... unrequited love. I was trying to think of a way to encourage this young man not to harm himself, but again Harmless hit it right on the head: Don't do it! We'll all suffer if you do, and time will take care of problems that seem insurmountable now. I remember having suicidal thoughts at that age, but I never went beyond thoughts, didn't even start planning how to do it. Come to find out, that's not a rare experience for teenagers.

I also wanted to let folks know that after his message was posted on Glee, the Glee Crew (staff) reached out with information on both harassment and suicide prevention. It makes me feel even better about the site.