View Full Version : Hi, My name is Glenn, my first visit
02-22-2008, 09:47 AM
I found Soulforce while browsing the net for Homosexuality/CHristian. I have spent most of my adult life trying to reconcile being gay with being christian. What a maze it has been. I have visited many sites in search of meaning and reconciliation to both my spirituality and my sexuality. I have to say this is by far the best site I have found. It appears very balanced and informative.
I went through a time trying to deny who I was and listening the the CHurch tell me who I should be. I know I love God and CHrist has always been my hero and friend and it seemed the Church tried to keep us apart, which I know can never happen, because Jesus is a true friend through and through and cares no matter what. I love Him for that. And it thrills my soul to find a place to share with others the struggle of being both spiritual and Gay. I want to thank the creators of this site for their courage and conviction and their ability to come to terms with their spiritual walk against so many odds.
I grew up in the 70s, gay, alone, in despair, isolated, self loathing, fearful, believing I was sick and a bad influence. My walk in this life has not been a happy one. Why I havn't attempted suicide I don't know, Grace of God maybe. I am now 51 and I still struggle with comming to terms with who I am.
I met Christ when I was 21 and He has brought me through many hard times. I went to church, tried to deny my homosexuality, but to no avail. I am Gay, I fall in love with men, always have and always will. Trying to avoid that fact and become something I am not is, oh so tiring and sinks you into depression. I no longer attend a church, I can't see sitting in a place surrounded by people who say they love you but will not accept you for who you are. They believe in the unconditional love of God, yet to be truly in Gods will you must place yourself under their conditions. To stay in church meant I would have to be a hypocrite, the thought disgusted me, so I left.
Thank you for being here, finding this site is like finding an oasis in a barren land. I shall return to visit often and to keep up with your updates and maybe make some like minded aquantances here. Thank you again, for being here. Glenn :)
02-22-2008, 09:57 AM
Welcome Glenn! I'm glad you found us. I hope we can alleviate some of the struggle you're experiencing. You'll find all kinds of spirituality here. There are christians, and some of the christians are *gasp* pastors. We also have Buddhists, agnostics, other faiths, and even Radical Faeries.
02-22-2008, 10:16 AM
Truly- you are among friends here. Many can identify with your story!
We're around the same age...I'm zeroing in on 50. :D And boy- do I remember the 70's and 80's. Anita Bryant was right at the top of the list of things to drive one crazy. It took me along while to wrap my head around being gay and being a person of faith.
I haven't left Christ, but I did become a Buddhist- if that makes any sense- it does to me anyway. And as a professional musician, I've spent a good deal of my life in church. The paradoxes abound.
I guess what I'm trying to say here- beside the big welcome- is that you can decide what you want your life of faith to look like. And not to be too pushy (ok.....I'm giving unasked of advice....please forgive me!) I think you have more options than you realize.
I don't know what area of the country you live in, but there are churches that are affirming and inclusive. And I know for sure- should you want to investigate this- that members here will help you locate such a place.
My point: you deserve a full and abundant life. There is no need for you to feel cut off from a living-breathing 3D community of faith.
Now. If I've come on too strong, please forgive me! But I'm simply endeavoring to respond to the cry for help that I sense in your words. You seem isolated- that bugs the heck out of me. And whatever you decide to to, I wrap my virtual arms around you and send thoughts of peace and blessing.
You deserve nothing less.
02-22-2008, 10:41 AM
Dear Glenn, welcome. :)
The sense behind your introductory words makes me want to hug you. :love:
You have definitely found a right place here. :) You will meet many other gay christians, some pastors (gay and straight), and a variety of other types and spiritual walks.
I grew up in the 80s without being taken to church. When I was little, I saw a "christian leader" on TV saying that gay men all deserved to die of AIDS, and I concluded that that sentiment was what christianity was, and therefore avoided churches like they were the most dangerous place on earth. I did literally believe that they were.
Now I am finding out what a disservice that leader did to christianity, and the media also did to christianity by letting that be the only facet of it they depicted. All along there have been christians, lay people and leaders, striving to actually represent and perhaps embody the words of Christ. I've met many christians, both here and in 3D, who are deeply involved in social justice for the LGBT community. Many of them are straight.
This is a community dedicated to understanding, caring, resolving problems and disputes, and creating a 'beloved community.'
I'm glad you are now a part of it. :love:
02-22-2008, 10:47 AM
Welcome to Soulforce, Glenn. I'm so happy that you found the site and I'm sure you'll like it. God loves :love: you unconditionally. I faced a similar battle when I was reconciling my faith with my transgender identity. I have been at peace with my decision every since. I pray :pray: that you will find that same peace. Once again, a hearty welcome and post often to the site.
02-22-2008, 02:09 PM
You found SF much in the same way that I did; a search on the internet putting together "homosexuality" and "Christian". This is probably the best place to be both LGBT and a person of faith. It all reconciles itself, believe me. You are as God/Jesus intended you to be, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Many religions and/or churches think that they are doing us a favor, our souls a favor, by telling us how it is not okay.
But, we know better than that around here.
02-23-2008, 07:28 AM
Glad to have you join us on the forums.
I can certainly relate to your story. I spent decades struggling with what I saw as the incongruity of being Christian and gay. There was no chance of my leaving the faith; it is a central part of my life. It was not possible to change my orientation. Now I am totally content with both aspects of my being.
I hope you make yourself at home here. It's a great group of people.
Tu Amigo, Pablo
03-04-2008, 12:24 PM
After reading all the replys to your post i dont believe there is much i can add. Like many i have struggled. What i have found through those struggles is that no matter where i have been with myself in life, Jesus Christ has been there with me. At times i didnt think he was with me only to realize later that he was there. He knows your delima, your pain and he wants us all to know that we have indeed been set free. At times i wondered if i had lost my salvation but even then Jesus was there to show me salvation. "Peace i leave with you, my peace i give unto you: not as the world giveth, give i unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. (John 14:27) He will be there through the valley of the shadow of death. Even unto the utter most parts of the Earth. You are precious to him Glenn.
03-04-2008, 04:47 PM
Glenn- I rode the same waves as you for so very many years. We humans are resilient creatures, and maybe being a gay man is another survival layer we have been given. I don't know, but I am amazed at how long I lasted in the closet and yet still have a love for life that is deep and treasured. I am beginning now to enjoy life deeply- painfully still many times, but with more hope.
I found this site and others for people of faith when in Dec '06 I had the courage to google "gay + christian". How surprised I was to find a community out there like me.
Be hopeful that 'falling in love with men' is a beautiful part of us and will be a gift to the world (or maybe just one other beautiful man who notices us...:p)
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