Help Me Please!!!

[godschild]

My partner's mother drives me insane. She talks down on me any time she gets. She contacted my parents for no reason...to do what...talk down on me more! I know as Christians we are to love others as we love ourself. and God knows I am trying, but i really dont like this woman. She is controlling to my partner, she is manipulative, and totally out of control. What's worse is my partner and I have lived together for about 9 months now and she is still doing this stuff. Its to the point where my partner has fallen into depression and has had to take meds. The only reason my partner still talks to her family is because her baby sister. She does not like her mother either. What should we do? I just can't stand her. Im going to counseling, but I have not brought up the fact that I absolutely cannot stand this woman. Do you think that I should? She causes a lot of stress and hurt to me and my partner.

[Zerbie]

Yes, definitely bring that up in counseling. Your counselor may have helpful situations for both of you.

[daniel Ray]

Wheather you are "christian" or not there are laws and principles that hold true for all.

It is a fact, we reap what we sow. If you let your anger get the best of you and do something out of anger than you should expect it to come back at you. If you can remain calm, it would be alright to talk to this woman, in love, explaining to her how her actions are effecting all involved. After that, if she continues, she is only hurting herself. You would have to maintain a position of passive resistance, in forgivness and love. If you can do that, then that is what will be returned to you.

"If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink: For thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head, and the Lord shall reward thee." Proverbs 25: 21 & 22

Sometimes it takes awhile for us to realize our reward, situations like yours may resolve quickly or may last for years, counceling is a good idea along the way.

[pnggrad79]

Does your partner's mother "approve" of your relationship? This woman obviously has issues of her own that she needs to address. I don't know much about your situation, but I would use it as a motivation to move out and get a place of your own with your partner. I don't know if you can financially afford to do that, but I would sure find a way.

If you can't afford to do that, then the counselor should suggest ways to help you cope with the situation.

I have had mother-in-law issues as well, and they are tough to deal with, especially if your partner has dealt with it all her life. The important thing to remember is you cannot control what your partner's mother does or says, you only control your actions/reactions. Pray above all else and ask God to help you behave toward her as God would have you do, and pray for your partner. You and partner are in our prayers! Much love!

[godschild]

yes we do live out of the house and she still does it. and i have acted nicely to her and have not said anything mean to her, but she continues. but i dont know what to do anymore. I do act in love and continue to be respectful. I guess Im just fed up. and there is not talking to her because when i try she talks and then says i dont care what you have to say and then continues to make false accusations. Do you think its rude to tell her not to talk to me anymore if she cannot say anything positive or she does not want to hear what I have to say?