in MN?

[never_again4]

Are there any LGBTQ Christians in the Twin Cities?

I feel mostly alone...

I am stuck in the middle of so many worlds... I am Bisexual, Hard-of-hearing, 23, etc.

I just don't know what to do or where to go... I have been looking for some community groups in Minneapolis or Saint Paul. I found a conference for Bisexuals that is coming here in a week or so... because08 dot org And I found some groups at the Queer Student Cultural Center on the U campus... but I have never been and I am frankly very nervous. I just was wondering if there are others out there?

[Daniel]

Are there any LGBTQ Christians in the Twin Cities?

I feel mostly alone...

I am stuck in the middle of so many worlds... I am Bisexual, Hard-of-hearing, 23, etc.

I just don't know what to do or where to go... I have been looking for some community groups in Minneapolis or Saint Paul. I found a conference for Bisexuals that is coming here in a week or so... because08 dot org And I found some groups at the Queer Student Cultural Center on the U campus... but I have never been and I am frankly very nervous. I just was wondering if there are others out there?


Dear One,

Have you been to an audiologist?

Listen. I come from a family that is rife with hearing loss - all my siblings - 4 or them- wear hearing aids- as does my father- and I have minor hearing loss myself- and I may be getting my own set of hearing aids soon because Ive been dealing with loud tinnitus this past year (the acoustic boost I would get may eliminate the loud ringing I hear). Nevertheless, I've had a career in music- which- by-the-way- has helped me keep what I have- hearing wise - intact.

Not being able to hear clearly can cause a great deal of suffering! For yourself and other people. You aren't hearing them properly and thus- your commication skills may be compromised.

Your saying that your feel alone is one big effect of hearing loss: one can become withdrawn as one's hearing becomes worse.

Oh....don't hurt yourself by listening to loud music! Anything over 90 decibels is damaging. And if you go to a loud concert, wear hearing protection. This is a must for someone with hearing loss.

There are solutions/aid/information out there. And I am happy to share with you what I know about this issue.

PM me if you like.

I don't like the thought of you suffering needlessly because of this. Your hearing is a big deal. It has eveything to do with communication and social interaction, as well as reading comprehension and writing skills. The interaction between the ears and the brain has everything to do with language and expression.

Peace to you.

Daniel

[never_again4]

Dear One,

Have you been to an audiologist?

Listen. I come from a family that is rife with hearing loss - all my siblings - 4 or them- wear hearing aids- as does my father- and I have minor hearing loss myself- and I may be getting my own set of hearing aids soon because Ive been dealing with loud tinnitus this past year (the acoustic boost I would get may eliminate the loud ringing I hear). Nevertheless, I've had a career in music- which- by-the-way- has helped me keep what I have- hearing wise - intact.

Not being able to hear clearly can cause a great deal of suffering! For yourself and other people. You aren't hearing them properly and thus- your commication skills may be compromised.

Your saying that your feel alone is one big effect of hearing loss: one can become withdrawn as one's hearing becomes worse.

Oh....don't hurt yourself by listening to loud music! Anything over 90 decibels is damaging. And if you go to a loud concert, wear hearing protection. This is a must for someone with hearing loss.

There are solutions/aid/information out there. And I am happy to share with you what I know about this issue.

PM me if you like.

I don't like the thought of you suffering needlessly because of this. Your hearing is a big deal. It has eveything to do with communication and social interaction, as well as reading comprehension and writing skills. The interaction between the ears and the brain has everything to do with language and expression.

Peace to you.

Daniel
yes, I have an audiologist. I have grown up with hearing loss and special speech classes and such. It was a nightmare. I grew up in mainstream school... with all the hearing kids. But with no interpreter... I had hearing aids and oral surgery and learned to lip read. So I grew up oral. It wasn't until I came to college in MN that I learned American Sign Language (ASL) and that has helped me SO MUCH!!!
I use ASL and I can still speak okay... and I read lips well too. I have hearing aids and FM systems and blah blah blah. I am also involved in music... I play many instruments and sing well... it is just hard for me to hear other people... I need to watch their mouth or look at the words or both. Or it just needs to be super loud. I have excellent reading and writing skills and I can interact with both worlds socially... it is just getting more and more difficult as I get older and my hearing deteriorates more and more.
The hard part about being HH is kinda like the hard part about being Bi... Deaf are like Lesbians and hearing people are like straight people.
The Deaf want HH (Hard of hearing) to choose either Deaf or hearing... like Lesbians want Bi to choose Lesbian or hetero... but this is stupid and mean. The hearing don't understand HH and hearing loss like many straight people don't understand Bi and think they are just curious. So it goes like that...
I am stuck in between the Gay and Straight worlds and the Deaf and hearing worlds... it is difficult and it sucks.
I just feel stuck.
I want to be me! But the pressure to pick a side makes me want to be those things... but I can't and that makes me feel like crap. So again, I am stuck.
And it feels lonely because it seems like all of my friends fall into the extremes while I am stuck to linger in the middle... and well-meaning though some of my friends are... they are often unintentionally hurtful.
so yeah, thanks for the post... good insight ;)
~AL

[Daniel]

I see you've got a lot going on! Wow!

And your point about being between worlds rings true with me. I'm running out the door here, and will respond more fully later in the day. I also sent a PM. Your issues are complex and I 'get' what you are talking about in my gut.

Peace to you!

:love:

[Daniel]

The hard part about being HH is kinda like the hard part about being Bi... Deaf are like Lesbians and hearing people are like straight people.
The Deaf want HH (Hard of hearing) to choose either Deaf or hearing... like Lesbians want Bi to choose Lesbian or hetero... but this is stupid and mean. The hearing don't understand HH and hearing loss like many straight people don't understand Bi and think they are just curious. So it goes like that...

I am stuck in between the Gay and Straight worlds and the Deaf and hearing worlds... it is difficult and it sucks.

I just feel stuck.

I want to be me! But the pressure to pick a side makes me want to be those things... but I can't and that makes me feel like crap. So again, I am stuck.


Your post has me thinking all kinds of thoughts, one being that you have a unique perspective. And rather than think of yourself as being alone, I want to encourage you to develop your perspective: I have no idea how that might play out in the real world, but once you have your degree- and perhaps even a post grad degree, I can see you being the link between the communites that you 'straddle'. Of course, right now, all you seem to have is the internal feeling of being alone. This I understand in my own way.

My own experience with tinnitus has shown me that 1) people are fearful and 2) don't know how to respond. If it was cancer or something else, well....there's a societal response that people have that's a given now.

I don't think you have to choose communites, either in HH are the deaf world, or in terms of sexuality. You can be who you are, just as you are. Know what? All this 'choosing' is not about the person. It is about making other people comfortable. And in the end, if people are uncomfortable....well...that's their issue, isn't it?

Of course, you are going to be encountering other people's reactions to you the rest of your life. So- instead of making choices to make other people happy, I guess what I am suggesting is that you find way and skills to deal with these situations- and this could lead to some very interessting advocacy.

Someone who knows a great deal about communication skills might be very helpful to you. I'm really just trying to brainstorm here: something tells me that you already know the lay of the land more than anyone. And if you do: why not become the expert of it?

What I'm saying here is this: turn what seems like a hardship into a gift to others. Consciously.

It could be a book, a forum, a speech that you take around the country. The possibilities are limitless.

Bottom line for me for you is this: do not let others define you. That is tanatmount to letting them control you. And the big things that conservative religious people want to control is 1) speech and expression and 2) who you sleep with. And if they can get you on either of these two things, they own ya.

It should be noted that artists have a lot more lattitude in life: they can get away with a lot more than people who are simply 9 to 5 'ers. And being as singer I know this intimately. People respond differently to me when they hear (ha!) that I sing.

I am suggesting that you become the artist in your own life.

I think you have gifts and insights that you are only just beginning to tap into. Really I do.

To put in in a Buddhist perspective: instead of trying to run away (not that your are) from the emotional pain that you are experiencing right now, how about mining the gold out of it? How you do that is up to you. My gut tells me that you can turn this internal turmoil into external service- somehow.

Pain is a sign that something needs to change. And that includes emotional pain.

[BenL]

AL,

My husband Charley is/was an ASL interpreter. "Was" because he injured his elbow and had to switch careers. "Is" because he still knows the language and keeps in touch with people in the Deaf community.

I've heard an awful lot about exclusion from the Deaf community. Some people who were born into Deaf families (the cap "D" signifies a LOT, folks) look down on people who were born into hearing families or who were deafened later in life. Those born into deaf families but who went to oral schools are not considered Deaf, either. Of course, these things aren't universal. Like any other community, there are lots of good, accepting Deaf people.

Charley felt a different kind of exclusion. Not only was he hearing, but he was an interpreter. That carries an onus of being needed but unwanted. A functionary, a servant, not a professional. Not only that, but some in the Deaf community accuse interpreters of trying to standardize ASL and impose hearing rules on this mighty marker of Deaf culture.

Not so unlike being bisexual, just as you say.

Cheer up. Find the strength within. As the dad in Calvin and Hobbs always said: It builds character. But it sure sucks while it's happening. Hope you come back for support and just to be part of this community. We try to accept everyone of good will.

[BruceChris]

Oh, Amanda, there are sooooo many LGBT resources in the Twin Cities! First, My Church:

http://www.soulforce.org/forums/showthread.php?t=1093

It is at the corner of 13th and East Lake street. No, it is not one of those lovely church buildings on the South side of the street, it is that big square warehouse on the North side of the street, beyond the parking lot. But then, you would know that if you had read the link above. Services start at 10:00 Sunday, I suggest that you get there early, to let some of our members know what your situation is.

At least one of our members knows ASL, just ask for Sandy

Then there is the Metropolitan Center for Independent Living, a private organization that offers help of all kinds to people with disabilities of all kinds. The person in charge of their outreach to the LGBT community, the last time I was there was a gay man with severe hearing loss. He could only communicate in a quiet room, or with ASL. They are at Snelling and University, on the ground floor. Their number is 651-646-8342, if you can make use of it. Their TTY number is 651-603-2001

Outfront Minnesota is probably the biggest source of information for LGBT events and resources in the Twin Cities. Their No. is 612-822-0127. I don't know if they have TTY. Their website is www.outfront.org/

The "U" is a great place to go. As I recall, there are two gay student office locations. One is run by the "U", and the other is a student group space. You are well within the right age group to fit in well, and you do NOT have to be a student to just drop in and hang out, and find out what you can. (You didn't say where you are a student.)

I do not understand your hearing loss as well as I wish that I did. If you go into a quiet room with someone, and they talk loud, and you read their lips,
can you understand them as well as you need to? I am sure that there are many places that would make that accommodation for you.

Spirit of the Lakes is a small, liberal, UCC church that is full of many wonderful people, that's why I love it there. Our church is slightly women focused. The MCC church, only a few blocks away, is much more conservative, more male focused, and MUCH larger. They may be ASL interpreted, I don't know. I would love it if you tried both of us out. The more thoroughly you look, he more you will find. And as U-dogg has pointed out, there are a LOT of churches that are Open and Affirming of gay people. Check out this site,

www.welcomingresources.org -- and this page:

http://www.welcomingresources.org/directory.htm

Interestingly, this website, a branch of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, is run by Rebecca Voelkel, a former minister at our church, and she and the website are now operating out of the Lyndale UCC, here in Minneapolis.

And hey, before I forget, NICE PHOTO. You have beautiful hair.

Edit: I just went and read some of your other postings ("scared"), and now I am beginning to understand you a little better.

Peace and Love, Bruce Chris