The "Gay Community:" is not a monolithic group

[Renaissancefan98]

We Gays are not all the same. Using the term "Gay Community" leads to heterosexual people thinking (and the MSM promoting) that all GLBT people think, act, dress, and talk alike. We don't.

Some heterosexuals laugh at us--that all gays own Cher, and Barbara Streisand Cd's, and watch "Will and Grace." I do not. Yet, some gay people do. But some GLBT people find joy in Cher, Babs, and "Will & Grace.

my heterosexual Christian Sister-in-law loves Cher, Streisand, and "Will and Grace." She still can't believe that I, as a gay man, can not tolerate those Cd's.
because i'm a Rock and Roll bear who likes hair metal and psychedelic rock,and i have to often correct people's heterosexist assumptions.


And oh, long live the 60's

http://dl7.glitter-graphics.net/pub/501/501407qv7tocuq7v.gif

[Gennee]

I agree with your assessment. It's the same thing in the transgnder community, of which I belong. Heteros need to see that we are a diverse group with many interests and tastes.

Gennee

:love:

[Alecto]

I think it's important to be careful about when one uses the term, and how, but I don't think it's fair to dismiss the existence of a community (or a "gay culture" even; I know I know, that's even worse territory). If time allows, I prefer to break it down based on the specific cultural phenomenon being discussed: if someone asks about "the gay community" and Cher, I might acknowledge that there are a lot of gay men who like Cher. If I've seen it in my own experience, I'll admit the possibility of a disproportionate number of gay men, even. But, then (and here I think is the important part), I stop and think about WHY that might be. I do think some things are more likely to appeal to queer folks; doesn't mean they'll appeal to ALL queer folks.

[Vanessa White]

Hey Renaissance: I totally get your point, about what others could assume based on us using the term "gay community"; most of us are fully aware that there are distinct, individual differences among all of us.

That being said, I have discovered that when I conduct training regarding any aspect of diversity, the inclination of most people is to make generalizations about most any group, regardless of what their cultural identity is; the black community does this; all hispanics do that; the religious right always does this or says this; and as with any stereotype or generalization, there is always some people that fulfill that to a degree. The problem becomes, people that do not take into consideration individual differences among all of us as humans, compile the stereotypes, or common behaviors that have been part of their own experience about a group, community, or culture, and generalize it to the entire group. Sad but true.

I know that I try to combat the tendency to stereotype through education and training as much as I can; in addition, I embrace the idea of and the reality of the gay community, BECAUSE of how colorful, diverse, and unique it is. It creates a sense of comfort at times to feel part of a whole, in an environment that feels more inclusive than I feel on most days.

[sailaway58]

While I agree that we need to recognize independence and individualism, I think it is also okay to observe generalities in different groups. We can and should laugh at ourselves once in a while. That said, I do think when it goes from quirky generalities to negative connotations toward any group it is wrong and as a Christian possibly sin. Terms like the gay agenda and lifestyle that conger images to purposefully portray others in a negative light are wrong.
If it demeans others it should not be said regardless of who we are talking about.
It is hard to see the individual when you are looking at the group.

[BlueGirl]

I know the "gay community" is made up of all kinds of people with all kinds of interests but I have yet to find any, at least no lesbians, that have the same interests I do. I don't know how many times I've placed personal ads trying to find other women who like the same things I do but I have yet to hear from any. I finally gave up. I have asked in a couple of groups, as I am doing now, but with the same result as the ads.

Will someone please tell me, am I really that much of an oddball? Is there no one else in the diverse "gay community" who loves TV shows from the '50's, especially shows like Perry Mason, Sea Hunt, etc., and some of the comedies such as Amos & Andy, Burns & Allen and Our Miss Brooks? Am I the only gay person who likes those shows? :confused: And old time radio shows such as Lum & Abner, The Lone Ranger, and too many others to mention. I know there are a LOT of people, a lot of them younger than I am, who listen to and collect them. There's TONS of OTR sites on the net. But are there no GAY people, especially lesbians, except for me, who like those things?
Am I the only lesbian who likes Elvis and other music of the 1950's? Is there anyone else reading this who likes the music of The Ventures, which is what I am listening to as I write this? Does anyone even know who I'm talking about?
I have never heard any gay person, male or female, name any of those shows when talking about what they like.
I get so frustated and upset :'( feeling like I am the only gay person who likes those things and wondering WHY I'm the only one.

BlueGirl

[antiochian]

The term "gay community" and referring to "my glbt brothers and sisters" is a little cheesy in the sense that it implies we're some sort of religion or something, and that we all love each other and are bestest best friends.

We differ in our religious and political views, in sense of style, in personality, race, background, socioeconomic status, etc.

In some ways I'm a stereotypical gay. I can do the femmie thing and I love make up and shopping and some of the music and so forth... but I can be as manly as the next guy, too.

I'm this wonderful thing, it's called an individual. :)

[Renaissancefan98]

I have yet to meet with others who share the same interests as me, because i'm a gay man who likes Led-Zeppelin,Jefferson Airplane,Iron Butterfly,and a whole list of 60's Hippy music,is there any other gays who share the same interests as me?

[antiochian]

Don't you want somebody to love? Don't you need somebody to love? Wouldn't you love somebody to love? :D

[tymejumper]

I know that people always seem to lable us and then can't figure out why we don't fit in it!

The best example of this is one guy I worked with for 5 years, who is straight had always known me with longer hair. My wife has shorter hair.
Well, I cut my hair in a cute little shag, easier to take care of and also professional. He asked me if that meant I was the man in the realationship now! I about lost it, I laughed so hard!

I do consider myself femme, but I don't wear makeup all the time and worry about my nails etc, things people associate with being femme. I am a rehab therapsit and fix wheelchairs, use power tools and have no problem slaying spiders for my lady(who does not like them in the house)I do yardwork, I also trim the trees and remove the leaves from the rain gutters with my bare hands without a flinch. I can, on the other hand, dress to the nines and be a lady. I still get clueless men hitting on me when I go out dressed up. Where do I fit in the spectrum?

:confused::confused::confused::confused::confused: :confused::confused:

[TigerXero]

Of course the gay community is diverse and different. So is any ethnic community, religious community, cultural communities, etc., etc. I think we can realize that while continuing to use the term gay community, especially when talking about things that affect Queer people as a whole (like... politics).

Those are my initial thoughts to the original idea put out in this thread. I also realize we have to be aware of making generalizations against individuals in a group. For example, today I went to an event at my college called Cafe con Leche which was a huge cultural event featuring all sorts of different Latino dance styles. Two of the guys who were hosting the show were black, actually twin brothers, but for their character (or perhaps this is how they normally are) they were slightly feminine in some of their mannerism, and at one point one of the brothers accused the other of having no rhythm, at which point that brother asked the audience to clap a certain beat to which he then proceeded to dance with his brother and show him that he did indeed have rhythm even if he wasn't participating in any of the dances being shown. The point of me telling is I had thought to myself how all the dances I'd see for the show would probably be heteronormative, and although there were some wymen only dances that could be considered lesbian in nature, I figured I wouldn't get to see any men dancing, so I was delighted to see this had been thrown into the show. (I'm not describing everything here, but I wanted to point out the two brothers were not made to be gay relief characters at all, one even being referenced as being involved with some female dancer in the past, but they did have slightly gay undertones.) So... that being said, I was talking to friends about how I liked to think of them as gay in character (since the many dances lacked them) IF, this is the point, IF I wanted to equate gay with effeminant characteristics in men, which isn't quite an accurate representation for 'gay men' as a group. My only motivation for wanting to think so was to fulfill my desire to have seen some male oriented queer dancing, which is pretty frivolous, but... um... *is losing focus of post*

Anyway... I'm hoping this is all clear. I think grouping people is useful for our analysis of different groups, but we ultimately have to realize that the individuals who comprise these groups are each unique in their own ways that may not conform to a certain 'norm' for said group. For example, I could reference plenty of my own quirks that are unique to myself regardless of any 'communities' I may consider my self a part of, and furthermore, I'm still able to find people that are similar to me via my interests or who I can still connect with regardless of how different our individual aspects may be.

And... I'm not really sure if my post had a point, at least not a conscious one, and I think it's getting foggier and foggier, so I'm going to stop ^^;;...

[RedneckDyke]

I know the "gay community" is made up of all kinds


Am I the only lesbian who likes Elvis and other music of the 1950's? Is

BlueGirl

I like Elvis. At least the older stuff, like Jailhouse Rock. I like swing music. What I really like are the clothes. I want to wear those sharp suits with the suspenders and the fedoras and the spats. I think I'd look fab in them. I think my wife would like me in them.

There are ways I fit the lesbian steretype and ways I don't. I wear flannel and boots and have short hair and drive a truck and like the Indigo Girls(at least most of their music. Some of it turns me off and one song I just hate and want to break the cd.). But I am politically libertarian and I own guns and I like country and bluegrass.

[BenL]

Two of the guys who were hosting the show were black, actually twin brothers, but for their character (or perhaps this is how they normally are) they were slightly feminine in some of their mannerism, and at one point one of the brothers accused the other of having no rhythm, at which point that brother asked the audience to clap a certain beat to which he then proceeded to dance with his brother and show him that he did indeed have rhythm even if he wasn't participating in any of the dances being shown.

This reminds me how much French Canadian men in Quebec confuse my gaydar all the time, especially in cities like Montreal but even in rural villages. It's cultural. They move differently. They dress differently. At least when they're younger, they take great care in their grooming. They sit with their legs crossed at the knees, not with an ankle propped up on a knee like American men. They follow European fashions, not American ones. And they DANCE. Dancing is in the genes for French Canadians. Get a beat going, and men and women begin to move, even if they're seated. I love visiting Quebec, where I blend right in.

[Unmasked]

Being bisexual and bi-gender leaves me in a queer place, pun intended. I enjoy Cher in limited doses, I adore dance music, I idolize Elton John and Melissa Etheridge, and musical theatre is the greatest thing ever conceived. But I also like alternative rock, new age, adult contemporary, classic rock (particularly Journey), and being incredibly lazy with how I'm dressed. I like a lot of girly things, I think American football is dumb, and I'm easily distracted by shiny objects. I'm very much like a kitten, or a child that managed to not grow up. I take joy in chasing butterflies and trying to befriend any animal that I see.

I also don't get nearly enough sleep. My schedule is so whacked out. I've been all sick so my body doesn't know what it wants.

[drewcaine]

You're right...I thought gay people would be happy to hang out with me...turns out pretty much everyone I know is introverted, insincere, or a dumbarse>_> And they lie and like to ignore you a lot, but pretty much everyone does anyway. Oh, and they lie about being your boyfriend as well, among other things.
drewcaine

[drewcaine]

Being bisexual and bi-gender leaves me in a queer place, pun intended. I enjoy Cher in limited doses, I adore dance music, I idolize Elton John and Melissa Etheridge, and musical theatre is the greatest thing ever conceived. But I also like alternative rock, new age, adult contemporary, classic rock (particularly Journey), and being incredibly lazy with how I'm dressed. I like a lot of girly things, I think American football is dumb, and I'm easily distracted by shiny objects. I'm very much like a kitten, or a child that managed to not grow up. I take joy in chasing butterflies and trying to befriend any animal that I see.

I also don't get nearly enough sleep. My schedule is so whacked out. I've been all sick so my body doesn't know what it wants.

Me too^_^
drewcaine

[BlueGirl]

Bless you RedneckDyke! :) Thank you for telling me that.
After thinking it over some more, I remembered two other lesbians that like Elvis. One was a very dear friend that is now deceased (how could she have not come to mind :eek:) and another one I’ve known since school days, but none I’ve met in recent years or on the net.

I too mostly like the early Elvis, before he went in the Army. After he got out, he changed too much to suit me. I think he wanted to look “respectable” to the adults. I like some of his later songs but I mostly like the pre-Army ones. Have you ever seen the documentary, “Elvis ‘56”? It’s an excellent one for early Elvis fans.
I only have five of his movies, “Love Me Tender”, “Loving You” (my favorite), “Jailhouse Rock” (2nd favorite), “King Creole”, and “It Happened At the World’s Fair”. I remember my mother and I seeing the first two at the theatre. I was 12 years old. People were lined up for a block waiting to get in. I remember some of the kids crying when he got shot in “Love Me Tender” and screaming when he sang and did his thing in “Loving You”.
I guess the main reason I have that later one is because Joan O’Brien played in it. :D I always liked her when she sang on the Bob Crosby Show.

I know who the Indigo Girls are but I’m not familiar with their music. Not sure if I ever heard them or not.
I like a lot of different kinds of music, including a lot of the pop music from the ‘30’s, Gospel, and easy listening instrumental too. I especially like The Mystic Moods orchestra because they have sound affects such as rain and thunder in theirs.

Which country stars do you like?
The ones I like are all from way back. I don’t listen to country music much any more and when I do, it’s mostly ones from the ‘60’s or maybe a few from the ‘70’s or ‘80’s. I don’t know any of the current ones. Some of my favorites are: Patsy Cline, Marty Robbins, Jean Shepard, Jim Reeves, Porter Wagoner, just to name a few.

Do you, by any chance, like mystery movies? :inspector:
Do you do any video collecting? That's a big thing with me but I’ve never talked with any gay people, that I know of, who have that hobby. I’ve traded with other collectors over the years, mostly men, but if any of them were gay, I had no way of knowing it.

Thanks again for responding and telling me that. It’s nice to know and to be able to discuss it with another gay person, especially a lesbian.

BlueGirl

[BlueGirl]

I forgot to mention that I am politically a Democrat. Not sure if I'm left or middle-of-the-road. :confused: I don't own any guns, except two bb guns (a Red Ryder that my dear friend gave me and one that my father gave me) but I sure would like to have more. My father's rifles were given away when I wasn't living here or I would have them. I plan on buying a hand gun and maybe a shot gun if I can ever get the money together. I would like to go to a shooting range and learn to properly shoot them but I don't drive and, at present, have no way to get there. I don't have any one that I can call on to help me with things like that. It would cost too much to take a cab there and back, but maybe some day I'll get to.

BlueGirl

[kara speltz]

You're right...I thought gay people would be happy to hang out with me...turns out pretty much everyone I know is introverted, insincere, or a dumbarse>_> And they lie and like to ignore you a lot, but pretty much everyone does anyway. Oh, and they lie about being your boyfriend as well, among other things.
drewcaine

wow drew! such generalizations. You know I'm a firm believer that we get reflected back to us what we generate out. So if your experience is as you have stated, perhaps you need to look inside. Gandhi keeps saying it better than anyone else - we must become the change we seek.

After years and years, I've come to learn that when I look around a room and see only negativity and people who seem beneath me, that is a clear indication that I'm totally off center and need to look inward.

Kara

[RedneckDyke]

Bless you RedneckDyke! :) Thank you for telling me that.
After thinking it over some more, I remembered two other lesbians that like Elvis. One was a very dear friend that is now deceased (how could she have not come to mind :eek:) and another one I’ve known since school days, but none I’ve met in recent years or on the net.

I too mostly like the early Elvis, before he went in the Army. After he got out, he changed too much to suit me. I think he wanted to look “respectable” to the adults. I like some of his later songs but I mostly like the pre-Army ones. Have you ever seen the documentary, “Elvis ‘56”? It’s an excellent one for early Elvis fans.
I only have five of his movies, “Love Me Tender”, “Loving You” (my favorite), “Jailhouse Rock” (2nd favorite), “King Creole”, and “It Happened At the World’s Fair”. I remember my mother and I seeing the first two at the theatre. I was 12 years old. People were lined up for a block waiting to get in. I remember some of the kids crying when he got shot in “Love Me Tender” and screaming when he sang and did his thing in “Loving You”.
I guess the main reason I have that later one is because Joan O’Brien played in it. :D I always liked her when she sang on the Bob Crosby Show.

I know who the Indigo Girls are but I’m not familiar with their music. Not sure if I ever heard them or not.
I like a lot of different kinds of music, including a lot of the pop music from the ‘30’s, Gospel, and easy listening instrumental too. I especially like The Mystic Moods orchestra because they have sound affects such as rain and thunder in theirs.

Which country stars do you like?
The ones I like are all from way back. I don’t listen to country music much any more and when I do, it’s mostly ones from the ‘60’s or maybe a few from the ‘70’s or ‘80’s. I don’t know any of the current ones. Some of my favorites are: Patsy Cline, Marty Robbins, Jean Shepard, Jim Reeves, Porter Wagoner, just to name a few.

Do you, by any chance, like mystery movies? :inspector:
Do you do any video collecting? That's a big thing with me but I’ve never talked with any gay people, that I know of, who have that hobby. I’ve traded with other collectors over the years, mostly men, but if any of them were gay, I had no way of knowing it.

Thanks again for responding and telling me that. It’s nice to know and to be able to discuss it with another gay person, especially a lesbian.

BlueGirl

I like some mystery movies. I like the BBC Campion and Miss MArple ones. I never liked Hercue Peroit but I love Miss Marple. I have a small library of movies but most stuff I get is off NetFlix. You can get everything there. If something is really cool on Netflix then I can order it online. The only place to buy movies in my little town is at Wally World or the used ones at Movie Gallery. Not much BBC or independent stuff there. I would love to have the Ken Burns Civil War series on DVD. I love to read about the Civil War (Or as we say here, the Late Unpleasantness :D). I have a big book collection on that subject including the Shelby Foote series.

I like old movies like musicals and stuff like Auntie Mame. And Hitchcock. I don't know what I'd do without NetFlix.:)

I like Patsy Cline too. and Hank senior. I also like some of the new stuff like Tim McGraw. I even like TOby Keith because he doesn't take himself seriously. I think his "I Love this Bar" would be a great drag number. When I am in a particularly redneck mood I like Charlie Daniels and Hank Jr. I have HAnk Jr's "Country Boy Can Survive" as my ringtone.

I like bluegrass. Especially gospel and old Appalachian murder ballads. I like rock from the 50's up to about 1992. Anything newer than that is beyond me. I think I'm getting old. I cussed at the radio the other day because it was the oldies station and they played "Stand" by R.E.M. I yelled"R.E.M. is NOT oldies!"

[Zerbie]

wow drew! such generalizations. You know I'm a firm believer that we get reflected back to us what we generate out. So if your experience is as you have stated, perhaps you need to look inside. Gandhi keeps saying it better than anyone else - we must become the change we seek.

Kara, Not sure if you know, Drew is a very young man who has been through some extremely rough *%&#. He is just starting to find himself separate from that rough stuff, but I am certain his experiences (which were not his fault) are coloring his viewpoints a great deal right now because he is still so close to them. I think he'll be more able to apply your suggestions about being the change once he's more on his own as an adult.


After years and years, I've come to learn that when I look around a room and see only negativity and people who seem beneath me, that is a clear indication that I'm totally off center and need to look inward.

Kara

When that happens to me, I know my period will arrive in about a week.

[Vanessa White]

Valid point by Kara here, though.

In spite of youth, in spite of any horrible circumstances that you bring to right now, today, drew, the future is in your hands. And, to step into that future with the knowledge and understanding that not every gay person, lesbian person, transgender or bisexual person will show the traits and characteristics that you have been encountering. This reminds me of some of what we tried to emphasize with Bluegirl as well. The reality which is presently your life is not the only reality out there. And, as time goes by, you come to realize and understand, through growing up with all of its experiences, that the power to change one's fate is in your own hands.

You may not have much choice about being in the location where you are right now, but we ALWAYS have a choice about how we allow those experiences to affect us. It is hard work, some of the hardest of our lives. But it has been the most telling lesson that I have learned.

In some of the replies on this thread, we have participated in some of the same behaviors that get used against us: we have been defining ourselves as a gay person, or member of the LGBT community, by what we wear, what music we like, what activities we pursue, and what we look like.

This is a slippery slope, folks. I have a sense of humor, but sometimes, going too far in that direction enables us all to generalize, even in jest.

We bear much influence here, folks, and we need to remember that.

Be the change you seek......:love:

[kara speltz]

Zerbie wrote:

Kara, Not sure if you know, Drew is a very young man who has been through some extremely rough *%&#. He is just starting to find himself separate from that rough stuff, but I am certain his experiences (which were not his fault) are coloring his viewpoints a great deal right now because he is still so close to them. I think he'll be more able to apply your suggestions about being the change once he's more on his own as an adult.

Thanks Zerbie, I hadn't read anything previously by Drew, so I didn't know that, but I did wonder. I always appreciate your take on things.

For me, one of the biggest changes that ocurred in my life was when I finally understood that when I looked around a room and saw only negativity, it was about me, NOT about anyone else.

Hopefully Drew will learn that earlier than I did. I always was a slow learner. kara

[drewcaine]

Thanks Zerbie, I hadn't read anything previously by Drew, so I didn't know that, but I did wonder. I always appreciate your take on things.

For me, one of the biggest changes that ocurred in my life was when I finally understood that when I looked around a room and saw only negativity, it was about me, NOT about anyone else.

Hopefully Drew will learn that earlier than I did. I always was a slow learner. kara

I understand what you mean about looking inside of yourself. A few years back, I used to be immature and get into fights; nowadays I'm a calm, understanding young man (still ever-the-restless-puppy, though) who can and would love to talk with anyone. However the romanticist I may be, though, I can't help but still see negativity out there. For instance, about an hour ago Dusty asked the instructor, "Would I get in trouble if I wore the shirt that says "necrophiliac" to class?". Can I help but see this as negative, even if I'm living life the best that I can???
I hope this wasn't confusing.
drewcaine

[matthewspeed]

Renaissance,

More power to ya! You are so correct. The gay community is as diverse as the "straight" community. It's true that the stereotype of the Cher loving, Barbara Streisand worshipping gay man is still a strong one today! And the flannel shirt, mullet hairstyle lesbian is a popular stereotype in many gay jokes.

But I do think that the stereotype is changing. Maybe a bit slower than I would like, but nonetheless, it is evolving. More gay parents are popping up in the media. Gay celebrities are coming out. Even a few (very few) sport figures have dared to come out. Look at the gay marriage/civil unions becoming legal.

Us gay individuals need to be tolerant and accepting just as we expect the same from the heterosexual community. Not all of us are democrats and liberal minded on every issue. Many of us are Republicans and Independants. Religion is another aspect. Some of us are more conservative in our Christian faith and some are more liberal. We have Muslims, Hindus, Paegans, etc...

I love the diversity within our gay culture. I fully embrace it. But I have one bone to pick with you Renaissance, you don't find 'Will and Grace' funny?? Now, you can't call yourself gay and NOT like Will and Grace!! LOL! :)

[drewcaine]

I don't watch will and grace and I'm a vibrant rainbow--whats the big deal, anyway?
drewcaine

[tymejumper]

My absolute FAVORITE in oldies is The Andrews Sisters. I love "Rum and Coca-Cola". I love all those bugle-boy 1930's sounds. I also love The Rat Pack. I think that is why I like Michael Buble' so much, he reminds me of Frank Sinatra. I love Christie Auglaras "Candy Man" because of the sound of it. I am a blues and soul/jazz girl at heart, that is why I like Amy Winehouse because she reminds me so much of Ella Fitzgerald. People say she sounds like a young Aretha Franklin, but she does not, it's definately Ella. Or Eartha Kitt(Santa Baby). I really also like Joss Stone, her voice is SO sexy, she's hot also!

For movies, I like action. I don't really care for "chick flicks" and "love stories". I loved Gladiator, and The 300, I own all the Terminator movies. I also like horror, that is what my wife preferes.

RedNeck, I do have a bunch or flannels, Ellie says I still look femme in them even when I attempt to "dyke" it up!:lol: :lol:

[tymejumper]

Only a woman could get away with a statement like this! :lol: others can get away with THINKING it ... but not saying it. I know this from harsh experience.


Yes, us women do know how we get at 'that time'. I tell my son that he needs to do the "yes dear" thing, to learn it now becuase if he dates women, he will need to know how to survive!:lol:

[Zerbie]

Only a woman could get away with a statement like this! :lol: others can get away with THINKING it ... but not saying it. I know this from harsh experience.


:( Unfortunately, I'm not "getting away with" (although I wondered if my saying that might upset someone,) in my case, that's literally true. :( :'( First comes the mood, then the thought "gee, why is *everyone else* such assholes?" then gradually it will dawn on me to check a calendar, and. . . we're one week out from menses.

You're right, guys can't say that.

I've learned to avoid scheduling high stress events that require even-handedness for that week beforehand. Because at the same time that my tolerance for anything is at zero and my anger level peaks, my sense of inhibition about expressing negative or angry opinions vanishes. :eek:

Yes, I have tried many things to control it and am about at wit's end and resigned to just accepting I will be angry and mean for a week out of every 25 days for the next 20 years. It's a total Jeckyl/Hyde experience. :(



I understand what you mean about looking inside of yourself. However the romanticist I may be, though, I can't help but still see negativity out there. For instance, about an hour ago Dusty asked the instructor, "Would I get in trouble if I wore the shirt that says "necrophiliac" to class?". Can I help but see this as negative, even if I'm living life the best that I can???
I hope this wasn't confusing.
drewcaine

Back to Kara's genuine point: we do tend to see our own 'auras' (if you will) when we look at the world, because we are looking through them. If they are clear, our responsiveness will be greater - we'll have more flexibility of emotional choice, greater choice to exert control over our behavior, and ability to let things go that aren't helpful. If we're murky, well, not so much.

Regarding the negative things one sees, if we can keep our emotional stuff cleaner and clearer, we'll have an easy time letting a negative event pass with less effect on us and our attitude. The negative is still there, but we will tend to be more focused on coping successfully, fixing it, raising the positive energy around us.

[drewcaine]

I see. It makes sense, seeing as how I finally dropped that useless agnostic I thought was my friend...and let most negative remarks pass me by (it's such a great feeling...you should see how much it drives my grandma crazy!^_^).
thanks,
drewcaine

[Renaissancefan98]

Renaissance,

More power to ya! You are so correct. The gay community is as diverse as the "straight" community. It's true that the stereotype of the Cher loving, Barbara Streisand worshipping gay man is still a strong one today! And the flannel shirt, mullet hairstyle lesbian is a popular stereotype in many gay jokes.

But I do think that the stereotype is changing. Maybe a bit slower than I would like, but nonetheless, it is evolving. More gay parents are popping up in the media. Gay celebrities are coming out. Even a few (very few) sport figures have dared to come out. Look at the gay marriage/civil unions becoming legal.

Us gay individuals need to be tolerant and accepting just as we expect the same from the heterosexual community. Not all of us are democrats and liberal minded on every issue. Many of us are Republicans and Independants. Religion is another aspect. Some of us are more conservative in our Christian faith and some are more liberal. We have Muslims, Hindus, Paegans, etc...

I love the diversity within our gay culture. I fully embrace it. But I have one bone to pick with you Renaissance, you don't find 'Will and Grace' funny?? Now, you can't call yourself gay and NOT like Will and Grace!! LOL! :)

No wait i take that back i like Will And Grace, it's just the stereotypes in the show,likewise i like Instinct magazine, but i would like them in their music reviews to review classic rawk like Jefferson Airplane.

[BlueGirl]

I like some mystery movies. I like the BBC Campion and Miss MArple ones. I never liked Hercue Peroit but I love Miss Marple. I have a small library of movies but most stuff I get is off NetFlix. You can get everything there. If something is really cool on Netflix then I can order it online. The only place to buy movies in my little town is at Wally World or the used ones at Movie Gallery. Not much BBC or independent stuff there. I would love to have the Ken Burns Civil War series on DVD. I love to read about the Civil War (Or as we say here, the Late Unpleasantness :D). I have a big book collection on that subject including the Shelby Foote series.

I like old movies like musicals and stuff like Auntie Mame. And Hitchcock. I don't know what I'd do without NetFlix.:)

I like Patsy Cline too. and Hank senior. I also like some of the new stuff like Tim McGraw. I even like TOby Keith because he doesn't take himself seriously. I think his "I Love this Bar" would be a great drag number. When I am in a particularly redneck mood I like Charlie Daniels and Hank Jr. I have HAnk Jr's "Country Boy Can Survive" as my ringtone.

I like bluegrass. Especially gospel and old Appalachian murder ballads. I like rock from the 50's up to about 1992. Anything newer than that is beyond me. I think I'm getting old. I cussed at the radio the other day because it was the oldies station and they played "Stand" by R.E.M. I yelled"R.E.M. is NOT oldies!"

Hi RedneckDyke,
If you’re interested in the Civil War, you ought to visit this area. For anyone who has transportation, I live just a “hop, skip, and a jump” from Harper’s Ferry and Antietam Battlefield. And I’m only a couple hours drive from Gettysburg. Within walking distance of my home is the local Historical Society’s headquarters. It is located in a house that belonged to a woman who was a spy for the Confederacy. In this town, there is a historic cemetery where there's is a big monument for of a bunch of Confederate soldiers. I don’t know if it’s just in memory of them or if it was a mass grave. My grandparents lived about 25 miles from here and, one time when my grandfather was digging potatoes in his garden, he found a couple of small cannon balls. I have one and my sister has one.
My mother has a couple of the Civil War mini series' but not the one you want.

Poirot’s ok with me but I like Miss Marple the best, especially the ones with Helen Hayes and Margaret Rutherford. Have you seen any of those?
Do you like the British mystery series’ of Rosemary and Thyme or Hetty Wainthrop Investigates? I really like them.
Glad you can find what you want on Netflix. They wouldn’t have anything I’m looking for. What I call old, you'd probably call ancient. :eek: I guess what's considered old depends on the age of who's doing the talking.
Netflix only has what’s been released on video. The ones I’m looking for haven’t been. If I can’t record them off the TV or find another collector who has them, then I won’t be able to get them. I couldn’t download anything anyway. My computer probably isn’t powerful enough and doesn’t have a dvd burner. I do all of my recording with standalones.
Where do you buy yours from? When I buy any, I usually get them from amazon.com and once in a while from Ebay. If you want info about certain movies, TV shows, or stars, Internet Movie Database (imdb.com) is an excellent place to look. Also, in the upper right hand corner, it will show if it’s available on dvd or vhs from amazon.com.
I’ve been collecting since 1981 and have over 900 movies and I don’t know how many TV shows plus a bunch of other stuff including some gay documentaries.
I’ve bought some shows but most of what I have, I either recorded off the TV or got in trades from other collectors over the years. I have most of the movies I want except for a couple I’m especially looking for. Other than maybe one or two serials I want to order, what I’m mostly looking for now is certain old TV shows. Unless someone releases them on video, I’ll probably never find them. But I'm very fortunate to have what I've got. They're a lot of company and enjoyment for me.

I like one of Hank Jr.’s songs, “My Heart Won’t Let Me Go”(late 1960’s). I think I read one time that Hank Sr. wrote the words and Hank Jr. wrote the music to it.

Since you like swing music (big band’s?), you might want to check out archive.org if you haven't already. They have some big band remotes of Artie Shaw, Benny Goodman, and others.

BlueGirl

[TigerXero]

I want to spice things up a bit because I'm not hearing anything that reminds me of my life, so let's list some of my labels and interests! For one, I'm big fan of Anime (Japanese animation), all things East Asian, Buddhism, Taoism, Japanese, Reiki, etc. I'm probably a nerd because of my love of video games, but I'm also involved in lots of other things too. I'm part of political organizations (I volunteered at the Iowa Caucus yet I'm in Tennessee), GLBT organizations (2!), and health organizations on campus... Oh! and I'm in an anime/manga/videogame/DDR(<3!)/D&D/etc. organization (=nerdy) too :3. I volunteer for local schools and such, and I have various different social circles (surprised?). I LOVE techno, electronica, J-pop, trance, club, etc. but I also enjoy other foreign music like Swedish, German, etc. as well as classical, videogame, and country music (at least if it's by my close, professional singer-friend, the amazing Emma Mae! She's got two moms :D!). I'm a story writer [within the furry fandom at least when I have free time] too. My life is ALSO crazy complicated on personal and interpersonal levels but not in a bad way; just in a life-is-complex-and-interesting-sometimes way. I at times often find myself counseling friends on things too, namely personal relationship issues or gay issues with those who are growing up in the closet. Oh, and did I mention I'm majoring in (1) Medicine, Health, and Society and (2) Psychology? I have a special interest in all things astronomical though and watch the Discovery Science Channel way too much. I haven't even started interning or doing research yet though, but I'll start that next year (and eventually aim at being a doctor)! Oh, and of course I'm usually up-to-date on queer happenings because I frequent Pam's House Blend and 365gay.com. Yay~ for knowledge.

...Yeah, I'm just all over the place. *explodes*

And... I accomplish all of this by minimizing the amount of time I spend on homework, lol. Average grades for superior extracurriculars, yay!

[Rick336]

It makes sense, seeing as how I finally dropped that useless agnostic I thought was my friend...and let most negative remarks pass me by .....

Useless agnostic? This makes it sound that his being an agnostic somehow defines his being useless.

See how this works with other groups:

Useless Mexican
Useless Christian
Useless African American
Useless homosexual
Useless woman
Useless Muslim
Useless Indian
Useless Jew
Useless Asian

[matthewspeed]

drewcaine,
I was kidding about the Will and Grace thing! did you see my LOL? It's not a big deal!! :)

[shannon10]

Have you heard of "queer theory" ? The theory rejects collective identity models for organizing. You may be interested in looking up a trans activist by the name of Riki Wilchins. She talks a lot about this.

We Gays are not all the same. Using the term "Gay Community" leads to heterosexual people thinking (and the MSM promoting) that all GLBT people think, act, dress, and talk alike. We don't.

Some heterosexuals laugh at us--that all gays own Cher, and Barbara Streisand Cd's, and watch "Will and Grace." I do not. Yet, some gay people do. But some GLBT people find joy in Cher, Babs, and "Will & Grace.

my heterosexual Christian Sister-in-law loves Cher, Streisand, and "Will and Grace." She still can't believe that I, as a gay man, can not tolerate those Cd's.
because i'm a Rock and Roll bear who likes hair metal and psychedelic rock,and i have to often correct people's heterosexist assumptions.


And oh, long live the 60's

http://dl7.glitter-graphics.net/pub/501/501407qv7tocuq7v.gif

[TigerXero]

But I also like alternative rock, new age, adult contemporary, classic rock (particularly Journey), and being incredibly lazy with how I'm dressed. I like a lot of girly things, I think American football is dumb, and I'm easily distracted by shiny objects.

I totally agree on the sport point. I'm more of a soccer or rugby (futbol) guy myself. Oh, I did forget to mention I like medatitive music. Also, I am ADHD (mostly gone now), so I too am very often distracted by shiny objects. My friends and I have had many laughs with this fact.

[TigerXero]

You're right...I thought gay people would be happy to hang out with me...turns out pretty much everyone I know is introverted, insincere, or a dumbarse>_> And they lie and like to ignore you a lot, but pretty much everyone does anyway. Oh, and they lie about being your boyfriend as well, among other things.
drewcaine

wow drew! such generalizations. You know I'm a firm believer that we get reflected back to us what we generate out. So if your experience is as you have stated, perhaps you need to look inside. Gandhi keeps saying it better than anyone else - we must become the change we seek.

After years and years, I've come to learn that when I look around a room and see only negativity and people who seem beneath me, that is a clear indication that I'm totally off center and need to look inward.

Kara

Not to be entirely negative, but maybe the gay people where you live just suck! :p It would be a... oh, what is it... availability... something... fallacy?... no... well, it's something, but basically it means that you are limited in your understanding of something based on what you have available to view.

[TigerXero]

:( Unfortunately, I'm not "getting away with" (although I wondered if my saying that might upset someone,) in my case, that's literally true. :( :'( First comes the mood, then the thought "gee, why is *everyone else* such assholes?" then gradually it will dawn on me to check a calendar, and. . . we're one week out from menses.

You're right, guys can't say that.

I'd have to thoroughly disagree. I have many times gotten away with making a comment about my own or another guy being on his 'man period' in response to someone being in a bad mood.

[Zerbie]

I'd have to thoroughly disagree. I have many times gotten away with making a comment about my own or another guy being on his 'man period' in response to someone being in a bad mood.

:p:p That's cute. I know guys who *seem* to have periods and PMS sometimes.

But you're thoroughly disagreeing with something I didn't say. What I did say (or rather, MEAN, guess I didn't actually SAY it) was that if a guy said that about a woman, he'd be in serious trouble. possibly dead.

[TigerXero]

:p:p That's cute. I know guys who *seem* to have periods and PMS sometimes.

But you're thoroughly disagreeing with something I didn't say. What I did say (or rather, MEAN, guess I didn't actually SAY it) was that if a guy said that about a woman, he'd be in serious trouble. possibly dead.

Oh... ok. Misunderstood ;p