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ledfordkendall
04-04-2008, 01:51 PM
I'm hoping to find some support and validation of my feelings as a gay man. I've had a fairly violent past in terms of being physically abused for "acting gay". My father from my earliest memories attempted to beat the gay out of me. This continued until I was 19 when my father beat me and threw me into the wall and knocked me unconscious. I guess he was afraid that time and he didn't touch me again after that. I was beaten up countless times in junior high and high school for being a "faggot".
When I was 19, I had a salvation experience in the church and asked Jesus to be my Lord and savior. I was in a pentecostal body that believed a lot of me was demonic including my being gay - and over the years had the "demon of homosexuality" cast out of me three different times. Apparently that didn't work. At 23, I believed I was in sin and was sick because of my gay feelings. I repressed my feelings, married and had a family. The years that followed left me totally depressed and suicidal. At 48, I made three different attempts to kill myself because I believed that God had abandoned me because I was gay. Each attempt was followed by me being institutionalized and the state of Virginia, in all of it's wisdom, made me go through 12 sessions of ECT and three different attempts to get psychiatrists to medicate and therapeutically "transition" me out of my gayness. None of this worked. My wife and I split up and all of my children, and my mother and sister abandoned me. In the last six years, I've lived alone and am just now understanding that God made me who I am including the fact that I'm gay and that I don't need to continue beating myself up over being gay. Ironically, after all of this time, I've never actually been in a relationship with a man, although that's what I desperately want now. I'm on two different internet gay matching services but so far I've been rejected by all of the people that the systems have indicated that I have had a "match". At 54, it seems pretty hard to find a way to develop a relationship with another gay man. I'm praying that God will lead me to the right man and that I can finally find the love I've always longed for. I now live in a small town south of Houston, Texas and I know absolutely no one in the local area that is gay. The church fellowship I go to preaches against homosexuality and I am wondering if anyone on this forum knows if there is a directory of some kind that might show where Christian fellowships are in the Houston or Austin areas that are open to gays. I know I'll never fit in to the gay bar scene in looking to find some gay friendsm muc more a LTR. I believe I'll find the right guy in church but I don't know where to look to find churches that are supportive of gays. Can anybody validate my feelings in terms of who I believe I am at 54 and also help me to find Christian fellowships that are gay friendly?

Kendall

capeguy74
04-04-2008, 03:29 PM
Hi Kendall,

My heart broke as I read your story. The turmoil I have suffered has been mostly internal. You have had that, and also much physical suffering. I am sorry you had to go through that.

It's OK that you're gay! God made you that way. For many years, right up through this week, I, too, believed God had abandoned me because I am gay. I believed it was impossible for me to be both gay and a Christian. (See the thread I started, "Hi, I am struggling with Christianity and homosexuality.") But I now believe it is. I believe there is ample proof, both in the Scriptures and through the life experiences of many of God's GLBT and allied straight children, that He does love us all.

As for a list of affirming churches, try this web site: gaychristian.net. Or visit the Metropolitan Community Church web site (Google it). They have gay-friendly churches all over the U.S. and the world.

Remember, Kendall, God loves you so much more than you can imagine. He loves you just the way you are. He suffered with you when you were being beaten up. And He is rejoicing now that you have reached this point of realizing that He loves you.

Take care, my friend and brother. And God bless you.

In Him,
Jason

Vanessa White
04-04-2008, 03:48 PM
I cannot extend much in the area of guidance about churches in Texas, nor for your experiences as an emerging gay man. But I can extend love and support to you in your journey. I imagine your story to be as a person who has spent years in the desert, and has come to a sweet, wet oasis......

:love::love::love::love::love::love::love:

I am so relieved for you that you are ready to hear what God's true wish is for you, to be true to who you really are. And, it is a total blessing.

Stick around, this is a pretty special place.......:love::love:

Zerbie
04-04-2008, 03:56 PM
Oh what a heartbreaking story! :'(

You are welcomed with open arms, here, Kendall. :love::love::love:

Reading of your loneliness just makes my heart ache. Here you will find friends, and though we are an online community, they feel every bit as real as 3 Dimensional friends.

Texas, huh? Well, I loved living in Houston (was there 6 or 7 years.) But that was DESPITE Texas being the single most homophobic place I've ever lived. I don't know what the gay community is like in Houston now. When i was there, it was my experience that there were several bars, some cafes, there used to be that big gay bookstore on the corner of Montrose and Westheimer, but now it's a Half Price Books. That Half Price Books does have a pretty decent sized LGBT section, and a big rainbow flag hanging over it - so you can't miss the LGBT books. :p

As I understand it, the Montrose Counseling Center is still there. You might check them out and see what they have to offer. I also visited an MCC church in Houston, it may have been a few blocks north of Westheimer on Montrose. Not sure I remember now.

Anyway - there IS stuff there, you just have to dig to find it.

scott snedeker
04-04-2008, 05:40 PM
Kendall,

You are still gay now because God has not given up on you. You are a man with the soul of a man, handsome of heart and spirit.

There is another of God's gay children who needs you. Your attraction to men is how you will find him and how he will find you. That's why nothing done to you changed your capacity to love the same gender.

This other fellow is still out there and when you find him, and love him, God will smile in sharing the joy that his gift has given you. Like a parent watching a child's face glow while opening a present at Christmas.

Welcome Home,

Gennee
04-04-2008, 06:21 PM
Welcome to Soulforce, Kendall. I read your story and is touched by it. God loves you and has a plan for your life. This is a wonderful site and I think you will enjoy it.

Gennee


:love::wave:

ledfordkendall
04-04-2008, 06:56 PM
Thanks to all for your words of information, love and encouragement. It is truly refreshing to be encouraged and not condemned. This is a really cool website!

Kendall

capeguy74
04-05-2008, 12:50 AM
Kendall,

I know exactly what you mean. This is the first place I had ever come and felt accepted for all of me, gay and Christian. You will find so much more of that here. You will have people (including me) who will pray for you, as well as encourage you. I, too, am very new on this journey. And I can't tell you how much support I have found here already, in just a couple of days. :D

Keep coming back here. Much love, blessings and peace on you, brother. :pray:

In Him,
Jason
:love::love::love:

Pablo Rafael
04-05-2008, 06:09 AM
Kendall,

Thanks for letting us know your story. I can relate to your struggle as a middle-aged gay man who is embracing his sexuality and looking for a relationship. (Wait, scratch that "middle aged" part, let's say we are (ahem) "in our prime" :rolleyes:

As I read your story a very painful part is how unnecessary all the pain and struggle is. I pray that future generations won't have to go through that struggle. I am certain that God didn't intend for us to have to go through such pain. I am sure that God cries along with his LGBT children who have had a hard time in life.

As for churches I always look at the Episcopal church when I think of LGBT friendly churches. I would encourgae you to look there. Also the ELCA has gay-friendly churches. Here is the Austin and Houston LUTHERANS CONCERNED (A Lutheran assoc. focusing on inclusions of LGBT memebers into the church) chapters:
*
LC/Austin
3001 Whitis Ave, Austin, TX 78750
lcaustin@lcna.org

LC/Houston
c/o Grace Lutheran Church,
2515 Waugh Dr, Houston, TX 77006
lchouston@lcna.org

I go to the Catholic church. I am quite happy there, but it is certainly a mixed bag when it comes to acceptance of LGBT memebers in the church.

Please keep posting and get to know all of us here and let us get to know you.

Tu Amigo, Pablo

ledfordkendall
04-05-2008, 03:29 PM
Kendall,

I know exactly what you mean. This is the first place I had ever come and felt accepted for all of me, gay and Christian. You will find so much more of that here. You will have people (including me) who will pray for you, as well as encourage you. I, too, am very new on this journey. And I can't tell you how much support I have found here already, in just a couple of days. :D

Keep coming back here. Much love, blessings and peace on you, brother. :pray:

In Him,
Jason
:love::love::love:

Jason - thanks for the affirmation and hope. I appreciate the promise of prayer and encouragement.

Kendall

ledfordkendall
04-05-2008, 03:35 PM
Kendall,

Thanks for letting us know your story. I can relate to your struggle as a middle-aged gay man who is embracing his sexuality and looking for a relationship. (Wait, scratch that "middle aged" part, let's say we are (ahem) "in our prime" :rolleyes:

As I read your story a very painful part is how unnecessary all the pain and struggle is. I pray that future generations won't have to go through that struggle. I am certain that God didn't intend for us to have to go through such pain. I am sure that God cries along with his LGBT children who have had a hard time in life.

Tu Amigo, Pablo

Pablo - It is comforting to know there are others as you say that are "in our prime" on this site. How do you deal with the feelings of loneliness and not being fulfilled while not being in a LTR? I don't want to sound desperate for love but I guess that's where I found myself and have for a long long time now.

Kendall