View Full Version : byu student
04-11-2006, 07:44 AM
im a byu student and was at the rally held yesterday evening when soulforce came to byu. i had to say that in the begining i was kind of upset that they were coming here but after attending the rally and listening to the speakers and all that i was happy that they came. i am a convert to the church from the age of 20, previous to that i had had gay feeling since 12 and acted on them when i was 18. after joining the church, i still had these feelings and feel as though i have to keep it secret or risk being targeted by friends, the school, and the church because of this. i love God and Christ and i believe that they love me, regardless of the feelings that i may have towards other men. in other communities, i am not very open about my gayness just because im a private person, but i shouldn't have to hide what i feel or who i am. i am happy that soulforce came here and their message was one of peace and hope for me and others at byu like me, because what there are tons of guys that i know that are gay or have the same feelings. it is not up to us or a church to pass judgement on others. there is only one judge that is qualified to do that and that is God, and he knows our hearts and our intentions and will judge all accordingly. i hope that other byu students will join this forum and we can join forces and help each other.
04-11-2006, 08:08 AM
Welcome to BYUstudent! I'm glad that you found us, and even more glad
that the Equality Riders made such a good impression on you. I have learned that presenting endless scientific evidence does not win people over,
but that the secret is to act in a kind, loving, and non-judgemental way
towards them. God loves us all, and that is the central message of the Bible.
Zerbie, Jamie, and the others will no doubt post shortly. If you keep coming back, you will get to know the regulars here.
As a self aware young gay person, you are probably looking for sources of validation and support. I hope that we can be part of that process, and I hope that you find what you need.
Peace and Love, BruceChris
04-11-2006, 08:22 AM
WOW! didnt expect anyone to reply to quickly and so early in the morning. thanks it means alot. im really searching for just plain acceptance. searching for non judgemental people. alot of people at byu think that the only gay people at byu are the so called flamming/very out/femmie men that go there. far from the truth. im very masculine, not femmie, very hetero acting and preppy jockish type and i know others like me. it is hard to have to hide but its groups like soulforce that give hope. thanks again i look forward to meeting good friends on here.
04-11-2006, 08:31 AM
Welcome to this safe place. You are loved.
04-11-2006, 09:00 AM
Welcome to this site. I just joined about three weeks ago when I heard the SF was coming to campus. I am a lesbian and have been at BYU longer than I care to admit. I, too was at the rally yesterday evening. The peace and love that was there was incredible. There were about 20 of "us" there last night (mostly gay men, the lesbians are harder to yank out) and I would love to get you connected, but I also want you to beware of the Honor code office. They do visit sites and they do suspend people. However, you have admitted to nothing more than feelings so far, and you are anonymous, and the church says that there is nothing wrong with that. But it is possible that even I could be an honor code Nazi. I don't mean to scare you, but PLEASE be careful. I on the other hand, have a girlfriend. My girlfriend and I host dinner parties every once in awhile and would love to invite you. I would also STRONGLY encourage you to get in touch with the group, affirmation. They are a semi-LDS based group. They are incredibly supportive, no matter where you are at in your journey. Belive me, I was turned off to it at first, but I met some guys who sort of started the group yesterday and they are amazing, kind, loving, accepting people. I am so happy that you found this place!!!!
04-11-2006, 09:06 AM
...feel as though i have to keep it secret or risk being targeted by friends, the school, and the church because of this. i love God and Christ and i believe that they love me, regardless of the feelings that i may have towards other men. in other communities, i am not very open about my gayness just because im a private person, but i shouldn't have to hide what i feel or who i am.
You are so welcome here!
Man. The hurt in your words about having to hide who you are comes through loud and clear to me. No. You shouldn't have to hide and I'm glad that those at the rally gave you a glimmer of hope and made you happy.
Welcome. Welcome. And again. Welcome.
04-11-2006, 10:25 AM
This place is the kindest, most supportive, and loving place you might ever find!
Congrats on making your way here.
04-11-2006, 10:45 AM
welcome byu student! I hope you enjoy this place!
04-11-2006, 11:44 AM
Here's a welcome hug: :love:
I too am so happy you found your way here!
I resonate a lot to what you say about your reactions when you heard the Ride was visiting your campus. While most of our two stories are very different, when I was in undergrad, I had very negative feelings about the gay activists on campus. Awe, fear, but also some confusion and resentment. I can imagine you having negative expectations, easily.
I am so glad that visiting the Riders and the rally was a positive experience for you! I'm so glad it gave you hope!
It makes me sad that you are going through the angst of hiding your feelings like you are, but so many of us have been there. . .:(
You are more than welcome here. This place is really supportive, and kind words are exchanged here daily. You have found a virtual home here, and you are more than merely accepted. You belong.
Happy to meet you.
04-11-2006, 05:23 PM
Dear BYU student,
The admonition to be careful is a wise counsel. Decades ago, I knew a gay stake president who was "discovered" and they actually vacated his baccalaureate degree he had earned from BYU years earlier.
Judgement for your beliefs is not the modus operandi on Soulforce. I believe that God loves you, made you in His image, and provided you with many distinguishing characteristics, of which your psychosexual orientation is just one of them. It is not that we are made of clay, but how we mold that clay to become a man who both advocates and promotes equal justice and freedom to express yourself as you have been given that light.
Whomoever mentioned Affirmation has a very good idea. It is helping many LDS singles and couples grapple with the special issues attendant - living in "Happy Valley" ( an LDS name for Provo, UT) and attending "THE" U.
Also, I would avail myself of that kind invitation from a Soulforce person who wishes to help you network effectively. One thing for sure......you should NOT be alone with your thoughts and feelings without a support system.
I will pray for you.....Rest assured....
04-12-2006, 05:11 AM
hey thanks to all for responding. it really makes me feel like im not so different and that others do have the same feelings. i am glad that i found this forum cause it is totally awesome. ya closet cougar i think i would love to get together some time. thanks again everyone for support!
04-12-2006, 08:10 AM
I'm a little late to the party, but welcome.
04-12-2006, 08:26 AM
well ya, i hope you dont think that im saying God doesnt love heteros. He loves all his children no matter who and what they are.
04-14-2006, 04:38 PM
Welcome!! Glad to have you here!:)
(sorry I'm so late on responding)
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