Barriers to Church Involvement

[Jlynn2303]

Greetings,

My name is Jennifer. I'm new here. I've just begun working with a Quaker congregation (of which I have been a member for several years) as the outreach co-ordinator. (We call it Welcoming Ministries co-ordinator.) Right before that, I was on a committee to begin a discussion of becoming a welcoming and affirming congregation. It has been a process of reading, discussion, small group meetings, etc and it appears that that committee is ready to submit a statement to the monthly business meeting for approval, which it will probably get.

It has been interesting, because while the pastor is very glbt supportive (the only one in town to go to rainbow gatherings, etc) and when I tell people about the work we are doing, I typically get the response - "why would you need to do that. The meeting is already welcoming" - this has not necessarily been the experience of glbt people in the congregation. Our governing body (the yearly meeting) is anti-lgbt, so we're on the fringe.

As outreach co-ordinator, I have begun working with the committee to decide on outreach priorities, and trying to educate them (although they are pretty educated already), the meeting has close ties to Earlham College.

One of the priorities they have approved is outreach to the lgbt community. So far, there is not one other church or meeting in town deliberately doing this, although one or two are sort of quietly ok with things.

Throughout the process, I've been talking about hidden slights, and ways people can unintentionally be made to feel unwelcome, whether by omission or unintended hurtful statements.

I would be VERY interested in anyone who wishes to share experience or insight on their experiences with organized religion.

I would probably describe this congregation as Christian universalist - people span the theological spectrum from evangelical to very universalist, but there is always scripture and the sermon arises from that.

Here's my questions for any who would like to answer and help this congregation get off to a good start -

Do you regularly attend worship services?

Why or why not?

If not, would you like to be able to do so?

What are some things that would make you feel welcome in worship services and a faith community?

In the library?

Outreach activities?

Ministries?

Do you think a group on healing wounds from homophobia would be useful?

Resources or success stories you would recommend?

You can respond here, or if you want to do it privately, let me know. I don't have a lot of experience in chatrooms, forums, so am not too sure of the netiquette.

Thank you and blessings,
Jennifer

[BenL]

Jennifer,

Welcome. The work you are doing is very important work, and I wish you well in it.

Some thoughts as you shape your ministry:

Many LGBT folks are gun shy. They have been hurt by religion and their families. They may even profess to hate the church and all it stands for. Be sure to cultivate a deep sense of patience in your team. They may not see gay people flooding in to join you any too soon.

On the other hand, critical mass is important. It's tough being the only member of any minority in a sea of white, middle class Protestants, say. So, getting those first few individuals and families, who are somehow perceived as different, to attend is crucial in attracting more people.

It's important for people to see their lives reflected in the congregation and from the pulpit if they're going to identify with the group. They need to be comfortable holding hands with their spouses/partners/significant others, for instance. If the meeting takes the attitude that they don't want to see that, it will be immediately clear to LGBT people that they don't belong there. Some sensitivity training is in order, as you have indicated. It may best be done by a member of the gay community who is used to conducting such sessions. Remember, the visiting fireman sometimes seems to have more authority.

Most of all, it's important for members of the congregation, including its leaders, to recognize that the Spirit glows as ardently in gay people as in straight. Gay Christians bring definite gifts to a congregation. If you can welcome those gifts, instead of thinking that you're going to do all the giving, then you will make a good start on your welcoming ministry.

A group for reconciling people who have suffered from homophobia is a good idea for the future. You need to establish a level of trust and comfort first, I think. There are therapeutic dimensions to such a mission, and you need to make sure that the facilitator of such a group is capable of running it.

[antiochian]

Here's my questions for any who would like to answer and help this congregation get off to a good start -

Do you regularly attend worship services?

Why or why not?

If not, would you like to be able to do so?

What are some things that would make you feel welcome in worship services and a faith community?

In the library?

Outreach activities?

Ministries?

Do you think a group on healing wounds from homophobia would be useful?

Resources or success stories you would recommend?

You can respond here, or if you want to do it privately, let me know. I don't have a lot of experience in chatrooms, forums, so am not too sure of the netiquette.

Thank you and blessings,
Jennifer[/QUOTE]

No, I don't go to church regularly, because I've been hurt too many times. Also, I struggle with belief in God these days, so it just doesn't interest me like it used to. Going to church doesn't make you a better or more spiritual person.

LGBT resources in the library would be great, lgbt outreach also, and just a plain friendly congregation in which people aren't actually pulling each other's hair out!

A group on homophobia would be awesome! Or at least bringing up homophobia in a Bible study, or gathering of some sort, to educate people and help those who are suffering.

[Gregory_de_Bois]

Do you regularly attend worship services?
Yes, I attend one church with my family (non-affirming) and another by myself when I can (affirming)

Why or why not?
I love the involvement in the community of the first (poor, environment, etc.), but disagree with a lot of its theology (too conservative/Evangelical), yet I go with my family. I go to the other because I love the priests, the liturgy, the sermons, the affirmation, and its work locally as well.

What are some things that would make you feel welcome in worship services and a faith community?
Well, for one there is no hatred in the pulpit, unless it is hatred of injustice. I like intentional communities, worship communities that have discipleship groups, prayer times, book readings, etc. A church where I can get involved in activism in both the church and the community, on many issues (darfur, tibet, GLBT, environment, war, etc.) I also am a very liturgical person, but finding each individual's spiritual needs (connected with being intentional and relational) is vital in creating a healthy faith community.


In the library?
Books that help me with my faith. That is one thing I love about the first church. It has a fairly emerging collection of books in its library/bookstore. As an emerging episcopalian, I find that inspiring, although they also have books like, "How then shall we live?" by Francis Schaeffer.


Outreach activities?
mentioned before.

Ministries?
GLBT, Healing, Prayer, Singles, Elderly, Children, and probably some more, but can't think right now.

Do you think a group on healing wounds from homophobia would be useful?
Yes!
Resources or success stories you would recommend?
Oh goodness, there are so many. Um... I'd really look into the emerging village and related authors, avoid their critics as they are a "brood of vipers".