In need of some love

[Terrapax2010]

Hey all -

I'm going through a tough time right now. My boyfriend's despression has been going very down-hill recently, and we checked him into the hospital this morning, to help him care for himself for a while in a "safe" space (relatively speaking, of course).

This has taken a lot out of me. If anyone has thoughts of encouragement they would like to pass along, I would really appreciate it.

Thanks everyone!

- Ty

[Daniel]

Hey all -

I'm going through a tough time right now. My boyfriend's despression has been going very down-hill recently.....

This has taken a lot out of me.

- Ty

Hi Ty,

You are one step ahead of the game, I can tell you that, in reaching out. Keep doing that!

I know that you are there for your guy about 110 percent. That's not an issue. Please give some serious thought to what you are doing to take care of youself- and I mean this seriously. You won't be any help to him- or yourself- if you don't. I know. It's stuff you know already, but when you are in crisis mode and trying to do all the right things the right way- and I bet you are- and that is what one has to do- you have to remind yourself of this.

Take deep slow breaths. Over and over. Find a friend to stay with if possible. Let someone take care of you.

You are loved and I send you all the love in my heart and more.

------------

When I met my husband 14 years ago, he was going through a nasty legal battle which almost ripped away the apartment we live in. That went on for 3 years. If I wasn't so madly in love with him I think it would have torn me apart- it was all I could do to hang on. That carried me through. Love does that. And Love, I believe, is carrying you through this dark night.

[trulyme212]

I'm not sure I have much advice but I wanted to offer my hugs and tell you how noble I think it is that you are staying so strong next to him...HUGS HUGS HUGS!! :love:

One thing that I learned a LONG time ago which helps when you are really stressed out.....

When you are getting ready to go to bed tonight, lie in bed and think of a word or saying (I use the Hail Mary but I know people who use something like the word ice cream)

Say the word or phrase over and over again while you are taking deep slow breaths.

Do this a couple of days in a row. Eventually you train your body to take slow deep breahts whenever you hear that word or phrase. SO-When you need to relax a little you just say the word to phrase to yourself and your both instinctivly relaxes. IT WORKS I promise!!

In addition to being very helpful its kinda cool also.

I'm sorry I couldn't be more of a help!!

again

HUGS HUGS HUGS!!

[keltic63]

hey TerraPAX


PEACE to you and your partner! :pray:

[Terrapax2010]

Thank you for the thoughts, Daniel. And the reminder to take care of myself. Its also hard to keep that in perspective during times like this. But little reminders help tremendously.

Thanks again.

[Terrapax2010]

Thanks for your advice, trulyme. Its very helpful. "Ice cream" will probably be my phrase...or maybe "cookie dough." :-)

[Terrapax2010]

Keltic, its been a while since I looked at my own screen name and thought about its meaning. Thank you.

[NathanATX]

http://leb.net/gibran/

Love

Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."

And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them.

And with a great voice he said:

When love beckons to you follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,

Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you believe in him,

Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,

So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.

He threshes you to make you naked.

He sifts you to free you from your husks.

He grinds you to whiteness.

He kneads you until you are pliant;

And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."

And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

[NathanATX]

Praying for you & your boyfriend, Ty. I'm really proud of the way you are protecting and supporting him. Be sure you take of yourself too.

Nate

[Zerbie]

All the best to you both!!!!!

:love: :pray: :pray: :pray:

[Daniel]

http://leb.net/gibran/

Love

Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."

And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them.

And with a great voice he said:

When love beckons to you follow him,

Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,

Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you believe in him,

Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

Nate,

I read these words often- they were spoken at my marriage to my beloved- they are also my signature on this forum and embody for me the essence of love in all its many forms and permutations.

Thank you for sharing them here!



TY,

I have thought of you and your beau often today- and am praying that you feel less like you are riding the rapids downstream.

Your name - In Terra Pax- reminds me of the musical piece of the same name by the greatly unappreciated English composer Gerald Finzi (http://www.geraldfinzi.org/). His work- In Terra Pax- is usually sung on Christmas Eve. It utilizes a poem by Robert Bridges, two soloists and a choir that represents the voices of heavenly angels.

It is one of the most sublime works of music I have ever heard and conveys a feeling to the listener I wish I could give to you at this moment.

If you can find it. Listen to it.

It speaks of awe and wonder- life and light- suprise and joy.

It's a good name to have.

[Jennifer5]

I would agree with everyone. Try to spend time with good friends, maybe stay with them... and make sure to take care of yourself:love: :love: :love: