Blessed

[Gennee]

I am blessed to have a wife and son who accept my cross dressing. Now my son's girlfriend knows because I have been wearing a skirt around the house. Life is so much freer because they know and accept that I like wearing women's clothing. My spouse also knows that I am transgender.

They are the only people who know about my dressing (in my immediate family). In time I may tell my sister and brother. If I don't that's okay too. The hostess at a local restaurant I dine at knows. The main thing is that I wanted to tell my wife anyway after my own discovery. When I did, I laid it out to her. She was shocked at first. Gradually, she came to see that this is a part of me. My son had his suspicions because he saw that my toenails were painted. When I told him last year, we talked for 4 hours! He was cool :cool: with my dressing.

I read the 'Hello, My Name Is' forum and make it a point to welcome newcomers. It grieves me when I read that many folks here have been rejected by their parents and siblings. Just as my family is accepting of my dressing, I accept everyone that is here. How can I say that I love God and hate people? That's hypocritical!

I am bleesed to have accepting family and I'm so happy that Soulforce is here where people can be themselves. I'm so blessed to be part of a unique and wonderful family.

Gennee :love::love::love::love::love:

[Vanessa White]

You help me to remember and understand that, even though we include transgender in our LGBT language, that the needs of each of us are unique, yet we can support and love one another through our struggles. I rejoice for you that you have found support, love and understanding from your family members. I applaud them, and you, for being yourself more and more.........

:love:

[BenL]

You are indeed blessed, Genee! I thank God for you.

My own children found their mother's transition to male more than they could encompass in their love. They were estranged from us for two years. Our son married (his second) at Christmas and we were not invited. Since then, though, he has started to come around, thanks partly to the urging of his wife. We met his mother-in-law last weekend. She was in New England for a conference, and we had lunch with her. She was very supportive and accepting. So, it's not always the younger generation that is quicker to accept.

God bless you.

[Gennee]

You are indeed blessed, Genee! I thank God for you.

My own children found their mother's transition to male more than they could encompass in their love. They were estranged from us for two years. Our son married (his second) at Christmas and we were not invited. Since then, though, he has started to come around, thanks partly to the urging of his wife. We met his mother-in-law last weekend. She was in New England for a conference, and we had lunch with her. She was very supportive and accepting. So, it's not always the younger generation that is quicker to accept.

God bless you.

You're right about that, Ben.

Gennee

[antiochian]

Gennee, I don't know you well, but I know enough to see that you are a kind soul and you inspire me.

I like to cross-dress as well, although I prefer to call it drag for whatever reason. I have only begun exploring this part of me in depth recently. I don't consider myself transgender. I consider myself cross-gender, basically that I like to switch back and forth. I don't consider myself a woman, but identify as a gay man who embraces both masculinity and femininity.

I wish I could do drag more often than I do, it is so thrilling and emancipating to wear a dress and jewelry and the whole nine yards. For my therapist I likened it to the feeling bikers have when summer comes and they can get on their Harleys, out on the road, and go to the rallies. It's like that for me.

My mother knows about the dressing and is not supportive in the least. Even worse, my transsexual friend doesn't like my dressing up. She wouldn't come near me when I came to her house in drag. I was disappointed in her.

All I know is it's a part of me and it's not wrong or sick. It's one more thing that makes me uniquely me!

[Gennee]

Gennee, I don't know you well, but I know enough to see that you are a kind soul and you inspire me.

I like to cross-dress as well, although I prefer to call it drag for whatever reason. I have only begun exploring this part of me in depth recently. I don't consider myself transgender. I consider myself cross-gender, basically that I like to switch back and forth. I don't consider myself a woman, but identify as a gay man who embraces both masculinity and femininity.

I wish I could do drag more often than I do, it is so thrilling and emancipating to wear a dress and jewelry and the whole nine yards. For my therapist I likened it to the feeling bikers have when summer comes and they can get on their Harleys, out on the road, and go to the rallies. It's like that for me.

My mother knows about the dressing and is not supportive in the least. Even worse, my transsexual friend doesn't like my dressing up. She wouldn't come near me when I came to her house in drag. I was disappointed in her.

All I know is it's a part of me and it's not wrong or sick. It's one more thing that makes me uniquely me!

I like the term 'drag' myself. Some don't like transvestite and prefer 'crossdresser. Me, I prefer the former. It is not sick or wrong. you have it quite right, Antiochian.

Gennee

[tymejumper]

I am so happy that you have a suportive family. That is a great blessing, my own mother was so accepting of me being lesbian that it really helped me to handle the rejection from other family members. She is always in my court.

I think that is why we often come to soul force, at least that is one of many reasons I came. to find suport and be accepted for who I am and what I am, not rejected. This is a surrogate family and when I am sad or happy I can post and ya know, I feel better. We even all bicker on posts like family!:lol::lol::lol:

I guess the feminist in me finds it really ironic that the same women who DO wear male baseball caps, jeans and Dockers are the same ones whom have an issue with men dressing as women. They really need to get back in pantaloons and dresses if they have such an issue with gender bending!

[Gennee]

You make a good point in the last paragraph, Tymejumper. I never understood why men wearing women's clothes brought so much angst.

Gennee

:confused:

[Alecto]

First off, I wanted to say how very glad I am to hear that you have such supportive people in your life, Gennee. In this society, it's still a lot worse for transfolk than it is even for the other GLB queers, far as I've seen. I know full well how lucky I am to have an accepting family, and good friends.

As for drag, I'm going to be very honest, because I think it's worth addressing. I do understand why many women / feminists of any gender take issue with drag. There's a message there, and a purpose, and a function that's different for each drag queen. There are reasons that I like drag that are far, FAR different than the reasons other folks do. That said, if you go to any local drag show, and you're not really "in" with that culture, it's easy to interpret that as mocking women. Everything is SO very overdone, and it could look like a confirmation of those stereotypes and expectations. For many drag queens, though, it's actually more of a mockery of said expectations: drag culture leans towards extremes. Lots of queens look pretty ridiculous (clothing + makeup etc), and I think that's the point is to show how utterly ridiculous those expectations are if you take them all the way.

For me, it's also just totally a lot of fun: it's like acting but without having to memorize any lines (unless I'm moving my mouth to someone else's song); I get to be someone else for the night. And there's also a weird political aspect to it even outside of mocking the gender expectations placed on women: it's a slight mockery of the gender expectations placed on gay men too.

[Gennee]

Gender expectations hs caused so much heartache for many transfolk because we don't fit the "norm". It affects straight people too because they don't fit some ideal of what is masculine and what is feminine. Many men use steroids and some women starve themselves just to try to fit some artificial ideal that most people can't as it is. Fitting that ideal doesn't guarantee happiness and contentment.

I know that I'm a gender outlaw because I trangress gender boundaries. I'm proud of it because no one can say who I should be. One of the mottoes I share with others is 'be who you are'.

Gennee

:love: