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View Full Version : Heya Gays and Gals! I'm Marcus.


markymarc1985
06-04-2008, 02:11 PM
How's everyone doing?

God, I wish I had found Soulforce earlier. Growing up, my father was a youth minister in a nondenominational evangelical church. Kinda sucked, I'm not gonna lie.

I knew I was different when I was 8 years old, showering at (get this) church camp with a few older counselors. Needless to say, I found the experience enjoyable.

Few years down the road, and I had a girlfriend (trying very hard to be a typical 16-year-old). We would make out on occasion, and I hated myself for pretending I was kissing Ewan McGregor. It was around this time that I began thinking about suicide.

When I was 18 and in my first semester of college, I wrote a paper for my English teacher about life in the closet. Even though I still hadn't admitted that I was gay (at least, out loud), I indirectly "outed" myself to her through this paper. I hadn't planned on telling anyone, but I thought that writing it down was harmless.

A few weeks later, and my family and I were travelling around Panama. One beautiful afternoon, while my mother and I were sunbathing on a dock in the Caribbean, I said that I had something I wanted to tell her, but wasn't sure how to go about it. She looked over and asked me if I was a mass-murderer. "Erm... no," I said. "But I do think I'm gay."

She was silent for a couple of seconds, probably gauging whether or not I was serious. When she decided I was, she just gave a little sigh and said "Oh, well. At least we can see musicals and go shopping together now."

If I had expected my mother to be unhappy, I surely expected my father to go (pardon the expression) ape-shit at the news. Turns out, people rarely react the way you expect them to. My dad, Preacher Extraordinare, was quiet for a few minutes. When he had recovered from the initial shock, he told me as firmly as possible that "no matter what, you are my son and I'll love and respect you forever." Whew.

So, erm... that's that. I'd be interested in hearing other people's stories. I'm currently writing a play on coming out, and I'd like to get some more ideas.

If anyone wishes to know, I live in Batavia, IL (it's a west burb of Chicago).

Peace!
-Marcus

Vanessa White
06-04-2008, 02:32 PM
What a story, actually uplifting and inspiring! I am so glad that your parents were supportive and loving in your process. My parents never berated me when I came out to them; actually, I told my mom, she filled my dad in........they were silently supportive for many years, and now are a bit more open and verbal about it. I can't wait to hear about your book in its process......

Anyway, glad that you joined us here. Get to know the place, and great having you as part of the SF family!!!!!!!!!!! Peace, Vanessa:love:

Gennee
06-04-2008, 02:40 PM
Welcome to Soulforce, Marcus. I loved reading your post. I thank God for your parents and their love for you. They're still digesting all of this but I believe that they will be even better ministers of the gospel.

It's interesting that you mentioned about writing a play about your coming out. I am writing a story about my coming out as a transgender woman. A play could be in the future, too. Once again, Welcome.

Gennee

:wave::rainbow::love:

Matt Algren
06-04-2008, 03:01 PM
How's everyone doing?

God, I wish I had found Soulforce earlier. Growing up, my father was a youth minister in a nondenominational evangelical church. Kinda sucked, I'm not gonna lie.

I knew I was different when I was 8 years old, showering at (get this) church camp with a few older counselors. Needless to say, I found the experience enjoyable.

Few years down the road, and I had a girlfriend (trying very hard to be a typical 16-year-old). We would make out on occasion, and I hated myself for pretending I was kissing Ewan McGregor. It was around this time that I began thinking about suicide.

When I was 18 and in my first semester of college, I wrote a paper for my English teacher about life in the closet. Even though I still hadn't admitted that I was gay (at least, out loud), I indirectly "outed" myself to her through this paper. I hadn't planned on telling anyone, but I thought that writing it down was harmless.

A few weeks later, and my family and I were travelling around Panama. One beautiful afternoon, while my mother and I were sunbathing on a dock in the Caribbean, I said that I had something I wanted to tell her, but wasn't sure how to go about it. She looked over and asked me if I was a mass-murderer. "Erm... no," I said. "But I do think I'm gay."

She was silent for a couple of seconds, probably gauging whether or not I was serious. When she decided I was, she just gave a little sigh and said "Oh, well. At least we can see musicals and go shopping together now."

If I had expected my mother to be unhappy, I surely expected my father to go (pardon the expression) ape-shit at the news. Turns out, people rarely react the way you expect them to. My dad, Preacher Extraordinare, was quiet for a few minutes. When he had recovered from the initial shock, he told me as firmly as possible that "no matter what, you are my son and I'll love and respect you forever." Whew.

So, erm... that's that. I'd be interested in hearing other people's stories. I'm currently writing a play on coming out, and I'd like to get some more ideas.

If anyone wishes to know, I live in Batavia, IL (it's a west burb of Chicago).

Peace!
-Marcus
Welcome, Markus.

Anyone who blames you for the Ewan McGregor thing is insane. Wouldn't have been my go-to, but not bad at all.

markymarc1985
06-05-2008, 12:44 AM
Welcome to Soulforce, Marcus. I loved reading your post. I thank God for your parents and their love for you. They're still digesting all of this but I believe that they will be even better ministers of the gospel.

It's interesting that you mentioned about writing a play about your coming out. I am writing a story about my coming out as a transgender woman. A play could be in the future, too. Once again, Welcome.

Gennee

:wave::rainbow::love:

Gennee, I can't wait to read your story. I can only imagine how interesting it will be.

The play I'm writing is about other people's coming out stories. The LGBTQ person narrates the story, while you hear the thoughts of those he or she is coming out to.

If you wouldn't mind, I'd love to hear some of your story and incorporate aspects of it into my play. That goes for anyone else out there, as well. Feel free to e-mail me at dinodggr18@yahoo.com.

Peace!
-Marc

matthewspeed
06-05-2008, 09:43 AM
If I had expected my mother to be unhappy, I surely expected my father to go (pardon the expression) ape-shit at the news. Turns out, people rarely react the way you expect them to. My dad, Preacher Extraordinare, was quiet for a few minutes. When he had recovered from the initial shock, he told me as firmly as possible that "no matter what, you are my son and I'll love and respect you forever." Whew.

MarkyMarc,

Very inspiring! You have wonderful parents. They know the meaning of true love and acceptance! You are a lucky man. God bless you! It has taken years for my parents to come around. It was not a fun experience, but now I am open to them and bringing a partner home for the holidays would be a welcoming event. I wish more families could be accepting from the start as yours was.

We are happy to have you as a new addition to the Soulforce family!! :)

tymejumper
06-05-2008, 06:59 PM
Welcome and you are blessed to have parents like that. Most of us will tell you that we were not that lucky. I think parents a lot of times suspect that their children are gay, at least now days. So we look forward to your posts.:)

antiochian
06-17-2008, 01:11 PM
Hello and welcome! Wow, I wish my mom had responded as yours did. Almost ten years after coming out to her, she still thinks it's a sin. The process of accepting myself has been slow and is ongoing. Lots of tears, lots of heated arguments, have gone through several therapists. That's like 1% of my coming out experience.