Gay/Bisexual locater thingy

[drewcaine]

Is there a way to find non-straight people that reside in your area? I'm serious here...I searched Arkansas on this website and got a bunch of legal crap that didn't really help me much...
drewcaine

[BrianB]

Is there a way to find non-straight people that reside in your area? I'm serious here...I searched Arkansas on this website and got a bunch of legal crap that didn't really help me much...
drewcaine

You could try http://www.outinlittlerock.com If you are not close to Little Rock you could try another city in your area. For example http://www.outindayton.com is close to me. They have all kinds of news and articles as well as personal ads for glbt people. You can also look at http://www.outinamerica.com for a more general web site.

[RedneckDyke]

Part of me doesn't like the idea of a list of gays in an area. Some nutjob could take it and make it his own hit list. But then, part of me says. "Bring it on nutjob! I'm not afraid to be on a list! My name's on all kinds of lists (like NRA rolls ) and I don't care who knows it!":p

[drewcaine]

Thanks for the websites, I'll go try them out!
drewcaine

[Matt Algren]

Is it some kind of rule that the front page of a gay-centric site HAS to have a half naked guy on it.

Sheesh.

[matthewspeed]

Is it some kind of rule that the front page of a gay-centric site HAS to have a half naked guy on it.

Sheesh.

I agree. We are attempting to change the perception that Gay America is not only about sex and those ads don't help. It's one thing if you desire to log on to a porn site, if that is your bag, but it is not necessary to have sexualized photos on a site just because it happens to be a gay site.
This bugs me!! "Urgh!" :(

[Alecto]

Honestly? I get it. And a major part of it is gender difference. Lesbians are already oversexualized by straight men who find them tittilating. But gay men? IF we're accepted (and watch for this on tv and movies), it's often because we've been de-sexualized. THe single, flamboyant gay man that helps solve straight people's problems because, gosh, he doesn't seem to have any of his own! I also totally understand people who want to move away from that, but it makes sense to me that for gay men, the oppression was always about the sex, so of course it's going to play a big part in the liberation.


Drew: can i assume you've checked for any social groups in your area (or bars as a last resort)? Or you might consider hitting up facebook even. Good luck!

[Zerbie]

Honestly? I get it. And a major part of it is gender difference. Lesbians are already oversexualized by straight men who find them tittilating. But gay men? IF we're accepted (and watch for this on tv and movies), it's often because we've been de-sexualized. THe single, flamboyant gay man that helps solve straight people's problems because, gosh, he doesn't seem to have any of his own! I also totally understand people who want to move away from that, but it makes sense to me that for gay men, the oppression was always about the sex, so of course it's going to play a big part in the liberation.


While that's all true, I think for a website it's even simpler than that. A website wants to get hits. A website with Eye Candy is going to get more hits. That's why the shirtless cuties are on the front pages.

[matthewspeed]

Honestly? I get it. And a major part of it is gender difference. Lesbians are already oversexualized by straight men who find them tittilating. But gay men? IF we're accepted (and watch for this on tv and movies), it's often because we've been de-sexualized. THe single, flamboyant gay man that helps solve straight people's problems because, gosh, he doesn't seem to have any of his own! I also totally understand people who want to move away from that, but it makes sense to me that for gay men, the oppression was always about the sex, so of course it's going to play a big part in the liberation.


I have to disagree a bit. The heterosexual community thinks gay men are sex crazed. They see us as potential pedophiles. They see us as fetishists. Most straight men think all gay men want to jump their bones. I deal with this on a regular basis. I frequent straight bars with my class mates and co-workers. I see the reaction of straight men when they find out I am gay.
Many Gay Pride events exaggarate sexual inuendos. I find it offensive to see sexual gay ads all over gay web sites and gay publications. I am no prude, but my life does not revolve around sex. I am tired of the straight world seeing gay men being being overly preoccupied with sex. This is why organizations like Soulforce are so important. Gay faith organizations are important as well. My desire is to let the world see us as people of virtue and people with convictions.

Slowly but surely, this is becoming more apparent. We see gay couples marrying, adopting children - promoting family values. The right winged community thinks we have no clue as to what family values entail. We do. We believe in committment. We believe in monogamy. We believe in raising strong families with a moral base. And we are also sexual creatures just as heterosexuls are. But it is all about balance.

We are not only sexual, but emotional and spritual. Yes, my sexual preference says I am gay, but my emotional and spritual preference says I am gay as well.

[Zerbie]

That's also true. But Alecto's post says "IF" gay men are accepted. That's the point, the "IF." When they're not accepted, it's on the basis of over-sexualizing them. When they ARE accepted, it's because their 'friends' (or TV producers, etc) are de-sexualizing them. The 'sexless' gay guy portrayed as the best friend and confidante who takes girls shopping and does their hair, but has no sex drive and is shown as an unsexy caricature. He's gay, but he's a "safe" gay man to have around because he flits about in a tutu and is not a sexual being - that kind of sexless wonder stupidity. :rolleyes:

It's either/or with the heterocentric culture. Either you're only about sex, or you're sexless eunuchs, with them. What is missing is a healthy respect for gay men as complete beings INCLUDING their sexuality, but leaving that sexuality in the same relatively small level of importance as the sexuality of any other person in the room.

[BrianB]

Is it some kind of rule that the front page of a gay-centric site HAS to have a half naked guy on it.

Sheesh.

The Out in America type web sites were the only ones that came to mind quickly. Frankly, I was hoping that other people here would chime in with some other places to look for non-straight people in your area. I have met people by going to a local Pride event. That could be an option.

[matthewspeed]

That's also true. But Alecto's post says "IF" gay men are accepted. That's the point, the "IF." When they're not accepted, it's on the basis of over-sexualizing them. When they ARE accepted, it's because their 'friends' (or TV producers, etc) are de-sexualizing them. The 'sexless' gay guy portrayed as the best friend and confidante who takes girls shopping and does their hair, but has no sex drive and is shown as an unsexy caricature. He's gay, but he's a "safe" gay man to have around because he flits about in a tutu and is not a sexual being - that kind of sexless wonder stupidity. :rolleyes:

It's either/or with the heterocentric culture. Either you're only about sex, or you're sexless eunuchs, with them. What is missing is a healthy respect for gay men as complete beings INCLUDING their sexuality, but leaving that sexuality in the same relatively small level of importance as the sexuality of any other person in the room.


Very true. Gay characters are usually made out to be perverts or sexless, mindless hairdressers.(nothing wrong with hairstylists, this is just a stereotype that is over exaggerated). You seldom see the balance, Only the extremes. I never really liked "Queer as Folk." That was the most depressing series I have ever watched. It was full of mindless sex and self hatred. I am sort of embarrassed by that show. A lot of my friends liked it, but I couldn't stand it.

I also want to ad that I do have a sense of humor. I am not that politically correct. I watch every rerun of Will and Grace. That show is hilarious. It does emphasize a lot of stereotypes, but some are true for portions of the gay community. But the show surely does not reflect all aspects of the gay community. I can relate to a lot of Will and Jacks experiences. I grew up in the gay bars and the whole culture that goes along with it. But Queer as Folk was different in that most of the characters were either sex/drug crazed, or were self hating, and it just seemed that casual sex was not seen as a bad thing. It was seen as a normal way of life for all gay men.

We need to be able to laugh at ourselves. But we need to be responsible as well. A lot of black characters on TV are very stereotypical. But we also see black actors in more serious responsible roles more and more. That is the balance we need with gay/lesbian characters on the screen.

[drewcaine]

Oh trust me, I've tried many of those places mentioned above (except for bars, I hope to God I don't end up going to those places next) and haven't had much luck. outinamerica confuses me so much that I decided to just quit searching on there. facebook.com's ok, that's my primary account now (I pretty much dropped myspace.com). Arkansas doesn't have any gay stuff, or maybe that's just Fort Smith...but I won't give up. I'd much rather get my legal problems/issues solved first, though.
drewcaine

[Rick336]

Is it some kind of rule that the front page of a gay-centric site HAS to have a half naked guy on it.

That's so typical of horny gay men. It's always about sex. Can you please post some of these photos of naked men as examples of what you're talking about so I can be sure to avoid these sites?

Thanks.

Rick

[scott snedeker]

That's so typical of horny gay men. It's always about sex. Can you please post some of these photos of naked men as examples of what you're talking about so I can be sure to avoid these sites?

Thanks.

Rick

Oh me too! so shocking to my naiive pagan eyes!:lol:

http://cdn-ce-slc-t2-01.ce.ctv.icdn.comcast.net/CTV/Comcast_CIM_Prod_Fancast_Live/658/184/1205948437732_12364_0046_121_87.jpg

"Blanche what color was your wedding dress"




http://www.playhouseonthegreen.org/shows/showhistory/images/rue-mcclanahan.jpg
"Oh Dorothy it was red!" "If I wore a white dress, even I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face!"

[Matt Algren]

That's so typical of horny gay men. It's always about sex. Can you please post some of these photos of naked men as examples of what you're talking about so I can be sure to avoid these sites?

Thanks.

Rick
Two days! It took two days for someone to complete the joke!

You guys are slow.

And since you asked...

http://www.jewishsantabarbara.org/getimage.asp?id=128232