Gennee
07-25-2008, 10:16 PM
I have been a late comer to many activities. I was even late for my high school graduation :D. When it was revealed that I was a crossdresser, I was surprised and shocked:eek:.
Growing up, I was your typical male doing typical male stuff. I played sports, hung out with my buddies, and talked about girls and cars. I was quiet and reserved but I enjoyed these times. I am still quiet and reserved to this day.
It was until I reached my thirties that the belief that I was different was strong. I felt that way from time to time when I was younger, but I didn't know why. I could be with many people but feel detached. I surmised that there must have been some great achievement that I was to accomplish. Gender issues were never in my thoughts.
When I started college in the fall of 2002, those feelings of being different were very strong. Re-entering the academic world after over thirty years plus these feelings were stressful at times. I nearly lashed out on numerous occasions because didn't know what was making me feel this way. I was dying to 'bust out', but to what?
My struggles came to a head in late spring of 2005. I got this crazy urge to try on my wife's skirt. I couldn't believe what I was thinking! I had never put on an rticle of women's clothing in my life. This was crazy, I reasoned. Why now? I relented after several days, thinking that when I tried on a skirt the urge would pass. Was I wrong! I tried on a skirt, a dress, blouse, and a bra. The urge grew stronger.
I was really confused. Was I a late blossoming gay man? Bisexual? Weird? Crazy? I spoke with a counselor a couple of weeks later. I told them everything that happened and what I was feeling. After some discussion, they revealed to me that I was a crossdresser. I was shocked. Upon leaving, one of the counselors asked if I like wearing the skirt. I repled yes without any hesitation.
I was in denial for several weeks. It'll all pass I tried convincing myself but my body was telling me differently. Here I was a married father, church goer and Christian desiring to wear women's clothing. I read Deuteronomy 22:5 about the prohibition against crossdressing. Yes I understood it but it had to have a better reason than what I was hearing. How would my dressing affect my faith and my family?
I was attending support group meetings with others like myself. I listened to other poeple's stories. Some stories broke my heart because some of these dear people were abused, attacked, and ridiculed because of who they were. It was here that I heard the word 'transgender' for the first time.
I created a blog and recorded my thoughts and feelings about what I was going through. I still had it in my head :headbang: that this 'phase' would pass, but I was lying to myself. Finally on July 26th, 2005 I came out to myself that I was a crossdresser. Almost immediately, all the struggles and tension dissipated. I felt liberated and complete. I was at peace :dove: with my confession.
I read :reading: voraciously about crossdressing, crossdressers, and transgender.I know now that gender and sexuality are two separate things. After understanding what being transgender is, I embraced wholehearted. I have been at peace ever since. The support group meetings were a great help and I met some beautiful people in the process.
Recently I read:reading: some short stories I had written back in 2000 and 2001. What I read stopped e in my tracks. I was struggling with gender issues back then and could not identify what it was. Now I understand what was happening.
Today I am a happy and content crossdresser and transgender woman. I am involved with a couple of groups at the community center. I'm seeking to be more involved. I read much about transgender issues, as well as gay and lesbian and bisexual issues. The way I see it we in the same battle and we need to support each other.
I am thankful to God for who I am today. He has filled me with love and concern for all GLBT men and women. My love :love: know no bounds. I pray that this testimony will encourage all who read it. God bless.
Gennee
:love::dove:
Growing up, I was your typical male doing typical male stuff. I played sports, hung out with my buddies, and talked about girls and cars. I was quiet and reserved but I enjoyed these times. I am still quiet and reserved to this day.
It was until I reached my thirties that the belief that I was different was strong. I felt that way from time to time when I was younger, but I didn't know why. I could be with many people but feel detached. I surmised that there must have been some great achievement that I was to accomplish. Gender issues were never in my thoughts.
When I started college in the fall of 2002, those feelings of being different were very strong. Re-entering the academic world after over thirty years plus these feelings were stressful at times. I nearly lashed out on numerous occasions because didn't know what was making me feel this way. I was dying to 'bust out', but to what?
My struggles came to a head in late spring of 2005. I got this crazy urge to try on my wife's skirt. I couldn't believe what I was thinking! I had never put on an rticle of women's clothing in my life. This was crazy, I reasoned. Why now? I relented after several days, thinking that when I tried on a skirt the urge would pass. Was I wrong! I tried on a skirt, a dress, blouse, and a bra. The urge grew stronger.
I was really confused. Was I a late blossoming gay man? Bisexual? Weird? Crazy? I spoke with a counselor a couple of weeks later. I told them everything that happened and what I was feeling. After some discussion, they revealed to me that I was a crossdresser. I was shocked. Upon leaving, one of the counselors asked if I like wearing the skirt. I repled yes without any hesitation.
I was in denial for several weeks. It'll all pass I tried convincing myself but my body was telling me differently. Here I was a married father, church goer and Christian desiring to wear women's clothing. I read Deuteronomy 22:5 about the prohibition against crossdressing. Yes I understood it but it had to have a better reason than what I was hearing. How would my dressing affect my faith and my family?
I was attending support group meetings with others like myself. I listened to other poeple's stories. Some stories broke my heart because some of these dear people were abused, attacked, and ridiculed because of who they were. It was here that I heard the word 'transgender' for the first time.
I created a blog and recorded my thoughts and feelings about what I was going through. I still had it in my head :headbang: that this 'phase' would pass, but I was lying to myself. Finally on July 26th, 2005 I came out to myself that I was a crossdresser. Almost immediately, all the struggles and tension dissipated. I felt liberated and complete. I was at peace :dove: with my confession.
I read :reading: voraciously about crossdressing, crossdressers, and transgender.I know now that gender and sexuality are two separate things. After understanding what being transgender is, I embraced wholehearted. I have been at peace ever since. The support group meetings were a great help and I met some beautiful people in the process.
Recently I read:reading: some short stories I had written back in 2000 and 2001. What I read stopped e in my tracks. I was struggling with gender issues back then and could not identify what it was. Now I understand what was happening.
Today I am a happy and content crossdresser and transgender woman. I am involved with a couple of groups at the community center. I'm seeking to be more involved. I read much about transgender issues, as well as gay and lesbian and bisexual issues. The way I see it we in the same battle and we need to support each other.
I am thankful to God for who I am today. He has filled me with love and concern for all GLBT men and women. My love :love: know no bounds. I pray that this testimony will encourage all who read it. God bless.
Gennee
:love::dove: