A turd floating in a punch bowl.

[prairielesbian]

Catchy title huh? :D

I just wanted to share a personal frustration with my friends here, but any newbies are welcome to read.

Yesterday I had a very important meeting with a college advisor and college director on a program of study that I was interested in. To keep this short the director talked me out of it. I have never been talked out of a college program in my life.

The director once a Physicians Assistant (yes I was looking into the PA program) wanted to know why I was interested in the program. I was honest and told her - as she came back and suggested different schools for me and different programs of study. Note: I love medicine and always wanted to be a family Dr. since 3rd grade. A health career is for me - but which one????

Sure, I have some old courses out there that would need repeating - no big deal. I just want to start a career, and I'm a big girl and can handle the pressure of re-learning chemistry, physics, biology etc.etc.

As the director continued to speak, I realized what she was trying to suggest - she was actually helpful after I got over the shock of being shot down over the PA program.

What she knew of me (via transcripts), she could see/ personally sense what I would be good at and what programs for me to look into that would take less time to complete, and where one would end up making about the same for wages as a PA would make in a year. PA's make good money, but if I could get into a shorter program with no prerequisites to worry about - well then....

So yesterday, there were moments where I felt like I was wasting time for two people as I felt like a turd in a punch bowl.

My PA dream may be gone, but at least I have options to go back to school for less time, and for the same amount if not more money in the end.

Perhaps I'll look into nuclear medicine, surgical technology, perfusionist, blah blah blah.

Is there anyone out there reading this that is in a health field and could perhaps help give me ideas?? Anyone willing to help a lost friend???

Existential Frustration sucks! :(

[Zerbie]

I have no idea what any of this is that you're talking about, but if you are sure you want to do the PA thing, then go right back and tell her, "thank you for the alternative suggestion, but I am committed and determined to complete the PA program." Really. If you want it and you're sure, speak the heck up.

[prairielesbian]

Guess I really dont know what I want to do with my life. I feel like I'm living in a dark cloud, and I feel like such a loser since I can't land a job - I'm either overqualified or underqualified and I've thought in my time of distress to go back to school to fill my "loser feeling" void.

I love school and yet I don't want to go back just to take this or that only to have more school debt and still no career outlook.

I just want a decent job, a cool job where I can't-wait-to-get-out-of-bed that pays well where I can take my "love" out for dinner or a movie or buy special gifts from time to time. I don't want to spend forever to get an education either - I'm getting old. ;)

So, yes I'm researching "shorter" college programs that are out there.

The college I was at yesterday, they charge $1,000.00/credit - INSANE! I'm going elsewhere.

[scott snedeker]

Sweetie,


It's okay that You may or may not know what you want to do in the future. It is more important to be aware of what you want now.

Ask the question:

"What do I want?"

Not What does the counselor think, or what is a way to make a good living or what do I do in the future?



I practice medicine as an allopathic physician (MD.) in a hospital. I have been practicing for 17 years

"There are two great disappointments in life: not getting what you want........................ and getting it!":headbang:

As far as medicine I think I have accomplished all that I care to. I am board certified in internal medicine. I have had two office practices, ran a a detox unit, served on peer review and addressed The state licensing board , becoming a faculty physician at FSU...blah blah blah blah! :sick:
Allopathic medicine is only a tool--powerful but usually misused and over-rated I might Add!

But! It is a job. not a life and not an identity, not a compensation for a personal sense of inadequacy. Why?

Because What's real is the moment and your fulfillment. If you want to practice medicine later then you will enjoy learning, dissecting cadavers now. Live in the now!

I loved school! I loved being a student. I even loved making ends meet on $400 a month for rent, food, etc.

Because the journey is the destination.

Medicine is now less and less of what I do. in a few years it will be less than 1/5 of my interest.

I am more interested insustainable green living, radical counter-culture, healing to wholeness through meditation and shaping the future.

Search your desires now and listen. Is music you passion? History? Art? Writing? Pshchology? Technology? Astronomy?

[labguy22]

I am in the health field, but as a worker, not a trained professional. I really wanted to become a physical therapist. I went back to JC and dove in with Anatomy. As with you, all my science classes would have to be taken again. As I started taking the GE classes ( History, Literature, Philosophy, etc. ) I realized that this is not the path I wanted to take. I am 41 and the idea of ten plus years of school became very unappealing. I took an inventory and looked at other options. I found that by pursuing a license as a personal trainer and nutritionist I would still be able to help albeit not as extensively as a PT. This is certainly not a lesser choice; it is the right one for me :)
Best of luck with whichever path you choose.

[Zerbie]

Guess I really dont know what I want to do with my life. I feel like I'm living in a dark cloud, and I feel like such a loser since I can't land a job - I'm either overqualified or underqualified and I've thought in my time of distress to go back to school to fill my "loser feeling" void.

I love school and yet I don't want to go back just to take this or that only to have more school debt and still no career outlook.

I just want a decent job, a cool job where I can't-wait-to-get-out-of-bed that pays well where I can take my "love" out for dinner or a movie or buy special gifts from time to time. I don't want to spend forever to get an education either - I'm getting old. ;)

So, yes I'm researching "shorter" college programs that are out there.

The college I was at yesterday, they charge $1,000.00/credit - INSANE! I'm going elsewhere.

You're not getting "old." Grief. You're just getting grown up.

Sounds like time to pull out the old What Color is Your Parachute and related books/websites.

Sift around for what interests you, maybe you're already kind of doing it in some form - through a hobby or volunteer, or maybe there's something you always wanted to do that you thought was 'unrealistic.' Yet maybe it isn't unrealistic if you map out the steps to do it.

Take this as an opportunity to start over. Pull out markers and poster board and brainstorm. Make it fun. Fun is key. ;)

[prairielesbian]

Zerb,

Yes, I'm getting "old". I can tell when I don't know songs on the radio anymore. ;) I'm old.

Say, do you wanna help me with my list etc? Help me brainstorm? :confused:

[Zerbie]

Zerb,

Yes, I'm getting "old". I can tell when I don't know songs on the radio anymore. ;) I'm old.

Say, do you wanna help me with my list etc? Help me brainstorm? :confused:

Oh good grief. Okay, alright, you're old. Fwiw, we're pretty much the same age, but I'm a helluva lot younger than you. Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyahhhhhh nyah! :p :rofl:

Sure, brainstorm away!

What do you like doing? What would you love to look back on having done, 30-40 years from now?

Ask yourself:
daytime or nighttime hours, or changeable?
travel, or live in one place lifestyle?
with lots of people, or hours a day by yourself?
with computers?
animals?
children?
food?
your hands?
indoors or outdoors?
in front where you'll be noticed, or behind the scenes?

That oughtta at least get you started.

[tymejumper]

Is there anyone out there reading this that is in a health field and could perhaps help give me ideas?? Anyone willing to help a lost friend??? (



Well, I'm a COTA, Certified Occupational Therapist Assistant. That is a 3 yr degree, but I went longer and got some Psych background. It's ok for money, I mean, we have all we need and usually you mae about 24 to 40 a year depending where you live. PTA, or Physical Therapist Assistant is a good one to go into also and they make more than COTA. Of course, if you want a Masters Degree go for OT, a PHD is regquired for a PT. PM me if you want to know more about the programs and what you do. Good Luck, hope this helps.(we do make more than Radiologists do)

[prairielesbian]

I am currently looking at the DPT (Dr. of Physical Therapy) program at a local University - whose to know - may be for me. ???

[prairielesbian]

Sure, brainstorm away!

What do you like doing? What would you love to look back on having done, 30-40 years from now?

Ask yourself:
daytime or nighttime hours, or changeable?
travel, or live in one place lifestyle?
with lots of people, or hours a day by yourself?
with computers?
animals?
children?
food?
your hands?
indoors or outdoors?
in front where you'll be noticed, or behind the scenes?

I'm a morning person - keener thinking at this time.
homebody - don't like change - so...remain local
better one-on-one (keep clean please) I do need a little interaction
love computers and typing and figuring out programs, but please, no data entry
love animals - the farm girl in me.
love kids - but not for me
love to eat food!
work well with my hands - replaced a ceiling fan switch yesterday (had no idea, but I did it!!!) Was not scared of the electricity issue.
Love the outdoors!
Don't necessarily need to be "outfront" but yet want a important role.

[Zerbie]

Well there ya go! You know many things about yourself and your interests. Run with that. Start brainstorming up ways to use those skills and interests. See what you can turn it into.

You seriously might try the old What Color is my Parachute thingy. I did that once when I was really young, it's probably quite dated now as it was dated then, but there's a reason it's a classic. And it will get you started. So check that out.

[prairielesbian]

Well there ya go! You know many things about yourself and your interests. Run with that. Start brainstorming up ways to use those skills and interests. See what you can turn it into.

You seriously might try the old What Color is my Parachute thingy. I did that once when I was really young, it's probably quite dated now as it was dated then, but there's a reason it's a classic. And it will get you started. So check that out.


O.K. You have me scratching my head. In post #8, you stated that we are about the same age - you being younger as you chimed in with nyah nyah nyah thingy to make me feel "really" old. :)

Now, you stated that you read What Color is my Parachute book when you were "really" young.

So how old are you? Or is everyday a new number for you?

And dang...I have to read???????

[Zerbie]

O.K. You have me scratching my head. In post #8, you stated that we are about the same age - you being younger as you chimed in with nyah nyah nyah thingy to make me feel "really" old. :)

Now, you stated that you read What Color is my Parachute book when you were "really" young.

So how old are you? Or is everyday a new number for you?

And dang...I have to read???????

:lol::lol:

Yes, and yes. :lol:

We're basically the same age, but you say you're really old, and I know I'm still a kid, so that makes you older than me at the same age. Got it?

[prairielesbian]

:lol::lol:

Yes, and yes. :lol:

We're basically the same age, but you say you're really old, and I know I'm still a kid, so that makes you older than me at the same age. Got it?


Got it! ;)

[ctozrn]

Hello,

I just wanted to say that I agree with all the advice/suggestions you have received here. I went back to school at the age of 30 to get my BSN in Nursing degree. I am now an RN. I started the program when I was 18, got frustrated and quit. I never really believed that I could be a nurse. I didn't think I was smart enough. Fast forward to age 35...I went back and graduated with a 3.8 near the top of my class! I only wish that I had stuck it out years ago. Do what YOU want. The PA program is great. You will never be out of a job. People will always be sick or need healthcare. If that is what you really want to do then do it. It may be hard work but it is ok! I am terrible at math so for algebra I and II, chemistry I got a tutor and worked my ass off! It was the hardest thing I ever did. The only thing that got me through was lots of prayer and knowing how bad I wanted this.

I absolutely love my job and can't imagine doing anything else. The main thing here is stay true to yourself. If you do that you will never go wrong!

Good luck!
Christine

[prairielesbian]

I've been tapping into "me" since I first started this thread and well, I have focused on what interests me. Who wants to listen?

I'm not your typical being where traditional jobs lure me in, and I get bored easy. It's true, I get bored!

But my focus has been on death,dying and bereavement, suicide ideologies, geriatrics, gay/lesbian issues and I'm somehow trying to figure out how I can swing all this into one category. The only thing I can think of, is - follow the rest of the way into my Psychology career where I can counsel on such issues.

People always die, people always mourn, people always struggle after a death, and then there is the gay/lesbian issues where individuals have no outlet except the thought of suicide.

I enjoy reading books about death (ie: Final Exists by Michael Largo) and books about suicide. Of course I being a lesbian, I can't help but study up on the GLBT societies and I find myself wondering....how can we open the eyes of others, to let them know that we are normal, have the same everyday issues, can raise a family etc.etc.etc.?

If I would tell my family about my interests, they would think that I have death tendencies and would suggest that I get help. How could I think of morbid things and make a career out of it?????

Am I sick?

I love staring at mummies in science museums. OK - I'm sick....

[u-dog]

The image it evokes makes me wanna gag everytime it pops up !!:(

Seriously, as I read your list of interests the common thread that runs throughout is "Grief" Does that resonate?

In the last ten years I have:

1. buried both my parents
2. worked with other peoples grief professionally in my work
3. stood beside our closest friends while they buried their 24 year old son.
4. grieved my decision to marry heterosexually rather than live openly as a gay man (my wife and I have chosen to stay together and finish the life we began together 25 years ago)

The surprising thing that I have learned is that "grief" and "regret" are not the same thing and that grief is a powerfully creative process and not simply a painful thing to be gotten past.

I have no clue how you combine all of these things into a career, but your sense that they are all related seems right to me. That you are passionate about these things does not make you a sicko ... it makes you a deeply sensitive person with a heart for others.

U-dog