Sere-Kun
08-13-2008, 03:44 AM
Sorry I've been inactive for about half a year. My dad caught me on lauras-playground, which is a major transgender site and he put a Christian filter on my computer called Covenant Eyes. It goes out of its way to block anything based on homosexuality or gender identity issues. He finally removed the block because he thought he "changed me." He failed. ;)
We've moved into the capital not too long ago because of some nasty things that happened. My school got tired of counseling me because of some serious depression I had, so they banned me from the counselor's office. Then my dad's church (Southern Baptist) started targeting me because I let a word slip. (I made a negative comment toward a girl who was mistreating me.) They banned me from attending any youth events and church. Then, they turned on my dad. A school counselor told a deacon's son who attended my school everything about me that was confidential. They then fired my dad because of my sexual orientation and gender identification and my lack of faith in the Bible itself. They gave us a small sum of money as severance and then we moved into the state's capital city so we could be closer to my mother's job. We bought a house and settled into it, and I just transferred to a new school.
We are visiting different congregations every Sunday, and last Sunday, we went to a Unitarian Universalist church. My dad being the close-minded person he is, only promised to take me there once, and then I was forbidden from it. The people there were nicer than any Christians I've ever met. The man that showed me around the facility was openly gay and he told me about the wonderful things the church did and how they loved him and accepted him for who he was. Keep in mind, this is a different religion than what I've been raised up as my entire life. This was a breath of fresh air, to go from a right-wing fundamental Christian church to a liberal and creedless faith. I enjoyed it. Halfway through the worship service, all the youth went into a room together and we discussed how we've helped someone in the past week. They were surprised that even though I was a newcomer to the religion (and being raised in an ultra-conservative Christian home) that I would share ALL of the beliefs of Unitarian Universalism. They wanted me to be involved with the church, but I sadly told them about my situation with my father. I promised to return in a year and a few months when I will be 18.
I've been through some pretty nasty relationships. I dated my first girlfriend until she tried getting sexual gratification from me and taking advantage of me for her own gain. She failed and then cheated on me and we broke up. I dated a boy for a while and then I broke up with him because I was scared out of my mind from the pressure students in my school placed on me. Also some other things lead to our demise as a couple. Then I dated another girl, but she went to visit family in Ohio for a month and she pulled some manipulation tactics on me and we broke up over a fight she started. Then she told her mother that I mistreated her (fabrications) and her mother (who was a friend of mine) completely disowned me and told me to never call again. She said she regretted to even associate with me. Now I'm just going to play it smart and put off any relationships for a long time. I refuse to even date a girl again until maybe after my transition. I feel so terrible about breaking my boyfriend's heart that I feel undeserving to even date another guy for a while.
Also I have moved beyond and past my depression. I feel no need to take antidepressants anymore and have been off them for 2 months. I feel strangely optimistic about life now, and I'm glad that I never committed suicide, even faced with all the obstacles I faced in a period of one year. I have discovered a new interest in religion again, even though I have been Agnostic and completely against the idea of organized religion for a long time. Now I see that there IS a faith that works for me. I can still have agnostic ideals, but I can also be religious and spiritual.
I'm really looking forward to completing this year and the next, as I'll be done with high school forever and then I can go on to a college and actively help this church and further their cause in the world.
We've moved into the capital not too long ago because of some nasty things that happened. My school got tired of counseling me because of some serious depression I had, so they banned me from the counselor's office. Then my dad's church (Southern Baptist) started targeting me because I let a word slip. (I made a negative comment toward a girl who was mistreating me.) They banned me from attending any youth events and church. Then, they turned on my dad. A school counselor told a deacon's son who attended my school everything about me that was confidential. They then fired my dad because of my sexual orientation and gender identification and my lack of faith in the Bible itself. They gave us a small sum of money as severance and then we moved into the state's capital city so we could be closer to my mother's job. We bought a house and settled into it, and I just transferred to a new school.
We are visiting different congregations every Sunday, and last Sunday, we went to a Unitarian Universalist church. My dad being the close-minded person he is, only promised to take me there once, and then I was forbidden from it. The people there were nicer than any Christians I've ever met. The man that showed me around the facility was openly gay and he told me about the wonderful things the church did and how they loved him and accepted him for who he was. Keep in mind, this is a different religion than what I've been raised up as my entire life. This was a breath of fresh air, to go from a right-wing fundamental Christian church to a liberal and creedless faith. I enjoyed it. Halfway through the worship service, all the youth went into a room together and we discussed how we've helped someone in the past week. They were surprised that even though I was a newcomer to the religion (and being raised in an ultra-conservative Christian home) that I would share ALL of the beliefs of Unitarian Universalism. They wanted me to be involved with the church, but I sadly told them about my situation with my father. I promised to return in a year and a few months when I will be 18.
I've been through some pretty nasty relationships. I dated my first girlfriend until she tried getting sexual gratification from me and taking advantage of me for her own gain. She failed and then cheated on me and we broke up. I dated a boy for a while and then I broke up with him because I was scared out of my mind from the pressure students in my school placed on me. Also some other things lead to our demise as a couple. Then I dated another girl, but she went to visit family in Ohio for a month and she pulled some manipulation tactics on me and we broke up over a fight she started. Then she told her mother that I mistreated her (fabrications) and her mother (who was a friend of mine) completely disowned me and told me to never call again. She said she regretted to even associate with me. Now I'm just going to play it smart and put off any relationships for a long time. I refuse to even date a girl again until maybe after my transition. I feel so terrible about breaking my boyfriend's heart that I feel undeserving to even date another guy for a while.
Also I have moved beyond and past my depression. I feel no need to take antidepressants anymore and have been off them for 2 months. I feel strangely optimistic about life now, and I'm glad that I never committed suicide, even faced with all the obstacles I faced in a period of one year. I have discovered a new interest in religion again, even though I have been Agnostic and completely against the idea of organized religion for a long time. Now I see that there IS a faith that works for me. I can still have agnostic ideals, but I can also be religious and spiritual.
I'm really looking forward to completing this year and the next, as I'll be done with high school forever and then I can go on to a college and actively help this church and further their cause in the world.