Flipping out. Help?

[Zerbie]

Ummm, hi.
:o:o

I seem to be flipping out today. Not just today, all week, but it seems to be culminating today. Nothing in my life is wrong. There is no external reason for it, but I am just filling up with intense, boiling anger. Like, red, acid-y, burn you up anger.

Thought perhaps if I told the group about that, maybe just reaching out will help the anger diminish a little. Not sure what's bugging me. Everything and nothing.

Anyway -- I am definitely not thinking, feeling, or acting like myself today.
Can anyone send some pretty shiny rainbows or something?
:(:pray:

[Daniel]

Ummm, hi.
:o:o

I seem to be flipping out today. Not just today, all week, but it seems to be culminating today. Nothing in my life is wrong. There is no external reason for it, but I am just filling up with intense, boiling anger. Like, red, acid-y, burn you up anger.

Thought perhaps if I told the group about that, maybe just reaching out will help the anger diminish a little. Not sure what's bugging me. Everything and nothing.

Anyway -- I am definitely not thinking, feeling, or acting like myself today.
Can anyone send some pretty shiny rainbows or something?
:(:pray:

Perhaps it's anticipation for some important event, or an issue that carries some emotional weight? Adrenaline surging through your body, getting ready for what you either think is coming- or is coming- or won't come?

A spring winding up before it releases and something moves.

Not unusual at all. ;)

[Zerbie]

Perhaps it's anticipation for some important event, or an issue that carries some emotional weight? Adrenaline surging through your body, getting ready for what you either think is coming- or is coming- or won't come?

A spring winding up before it releases and something moves.

Not unusual at all. ;)

Ohh, adrenaline? Hadn't thought of that, though it would explain why I'm having certain symptoms. Oh. Yes, it is adrenaline.

Shit. Ya mean I gotta live like this through Tuesday??

[Daniel]

Ohh, adrenaline? Hadn't thought of that, though it would explain why I'm having certain symptoms. Oh. Yes, it is adrenaline.

Shit. Ya mean I gotta live like this through Tuesday??

A piece of chocolate and a bath? I would throw in some candles too. ;) And bubbles and champagne. I mean, if you are going to relax, you might as well do it in style.

Oxy gave me this tip. Works every time.

Oh...and wear pearls. A very nice touch.

[Zerbie]

What are Oxy's tips for getting calmed down again when there is certainly NOT the time to stop for a bath, candles, etc.?

When you HAVE to be getting all the ducks in a row for an event?

[kara speltz]

What are Oxy's tips for getting calmed down again when there is certainly NOT the time to stop for a bath, candles, etc.?

When you HAVE to be getting all the ducks in a row for an event?

When there's no time for bath and candles, I stop and do some very deep breathing, and take 5 mins to imagine myself in a beautiful meadow, or on a lake. kara

[RedneckDyke]

I find shooting at glass bottles and breaking them helps release anger.:D

Actually, any kind of hard physical activity is good for getting through antsyness(is that a word?). Digging is good. Mother Earth is very forgiving and digging really works a sweat up. Then you can just fill the hole again.
I also like angry music sometimes, like Nine Inch Nails, or Metallica.:mad::D

A bubble bath sounds wonderful too.
:)

[Zerbie]

:lol::lol:

Kara, at your suggestion, I imagined setting the meadow on fire. ! :eek:
:lol:

I think I need to take up shooting glass bottles or something, Red. Thanks. :p :o

I did cardio kickboxing this morning, and that was the one part of the day when the angriness has not bothered me. It helped me kickbox.

Anyway. Have been starting to see some progress towards what needs to get done, and the edge is starting to diminish.

Red, when you listen to angry music, does it discharge the anger that you're feeling so that it goes away later?? Trying to think of what music we have here that's angry. . . maybe Götterdammerung??

[tdogg]

Hey Z. I would guess this stress and anger is boiling up because of the impending event and everything there is to do, and all you've been going through with it, just like Daniel said. The best way to deal is to try and channel all that energy into constructive actions. It's ok to be angry, but use it in a positive way (ok, much easier said than done!).

I have to agree with Red. At least, when I'm feeling like that, I find some sort of physical outlet usually does the trick. Also, when I'm feeling like that, I do actually find myself drawn to some of my more 'angry' music, say some rap and hard rock. It helps with the release of the mental energy. Might not be for everyone though.

Sometimes I feel really out of sorts with no apparent reason, and while it's very difficult to deal with at the time, it does seem to dissipate fairly quickly. Hope this does for you as well. You are doing such great work, don't let any of the obstacles or difficulties cloud that fact. You are a warrior goddess. OK?? :love:

[Zerbie]

I wonder -- maybe some Edith Piaf might do me some good. Talk about a fighter!

Thanks everyone. I'm not as angry right now, now I'm just feeling like my mind and body are racing, racing. I can't even force myself to chew slowly.
You're right, a lot has been going on and there is a lot more to do regarding an impending event.

There have been more new developments today, too. First I have to get them all settled and do certain tasks. If I get all those tasks done, then I will message some of you privately, those who have been my listening ears the past little while, and fill you in on the new news. If everything gets done, that is. Today and tomorrow are really, reeeeeeally crazy, as in INSANE, days.

I guess that's what's got into me.
Yesterday I was singing with my teacher, and I was singing the scales SO FAST! I've never sung scales so quickly in my life. Couldn't slow them down, either. Poor teach' said, "My goodness, I've NEVER seen you like this before!"

[Daniel]

One good thing is to breath very slowly. And if you can, let the outbreath be as long as possible without straining. It's an old biofeedback exercise. It works.

Long exhalations.

A visual exercise?

Imagine youself seeing everything in your field of vision as if from the back of your head. Your vision will appear wide- a wide field of vision. If you keep it up (imagining- feeling yourself see from the back of your head), you will become calmer. You'll be engaging that 'witness consciousness' that is talked about in meditative practices. Do this with the breathing and see what happens (the 'Alexander' people came up with this exercise).

An auditory exercise?

Imagine that you have very tall rabbit ears- with the right ear being taller than the left. You may find if you concentrate on this feeling that the sounds that you hear will become oriented towards the 'high'- or you might say the treble (the Tomatis folks encourage this and the image is used with kids...and aren't we all kids?)

Put these three things together and you have the makings of a very different way in which to experience yourself and the world. Subtle, but effective. It induces as sense of calmness. And having a sense of being calm while in motion is a pretty nifty thing.

Ok....that's the teacher side of me coming out! :lol::rolleyes::D

[Alecto]

The two routes are either calming yourself down, as others have mentioned, or channeling it. I'm guessing this is 7SN related, but maybe not. Either way, if you can twist the anger into a righteous anger, and channel that energy into your response to whatever injustice or sleight, I find that to be really empowering. (It's obviously not great if your response is a nonviolent dialogue, but planning a protest or an event would work).

It's like instead of all that energy working against you, being a treadmill under your feet, you let it light a fire under your ass instead. You're in the situation, so you'd know which route would be more appropriate. ::hug:: Good luck.

[Zerbie]

Thanks, darlins. :love:

I use techniques every day that are calming, centering, because my particular body chemistry really needs constant attention to calming down. Daniel has reminded me of some practices that I have not used in a while. Thank you, Danny. :love:

I do need to take the edge off, and that which takes the edge off is running errands and doing work related to the event. Whenever I pause in those tasks, the anger and constant racing-feelings come back. Aeck! :eek:

We seem to have a case of needing to channel the energy, here. I was cheerful as long as I was out stocking up on vigil supplies. Then I got home, tried to relax and eat something, and suddenly, Mr Hyde came back. :(

[scott snedeker]

Usually when I have increased anxiety it means activtion of a feeling casued by a PAST experience.

If I can figure out which past experience it is and identify the trigger, I can usually dissect the connection into trivial power and return to living in the present.

Loss of control is a big source with many triggers

Self criticism/doubt is another

Humiliating myself because I am afraid of disappointing someone is huge---makes me tick.

If I can Identify the source and the trigger I bring it to a cataclysmic head with fantasies of violence. Then I can perform a forgiveness and loving-kindness meditation.

[Zerbie]

Usually when I have increased anxiety it means activtion of a feeling casued by a PAST experience.

If I can figure out which past experience it is and identify the trigger, I can usually dissect the connection into trivial power and return to living in the present.

Loss of control is a big source with many triggers

Self criticism/doubt is another

Humiliating myself because I am afraid of disappointing someone is huge---makes me tick.

If I can Identify the source and the trigger I bring it to a cataclysmic head with fantasies of violence. Then I can perform a forgiveness and loving-kindness meditation.

Thanks. I've finally gotten good at knowing just the right thing to do when non-helpful feelings are triggered by a blast from the past.

This isn't a from the past thing. This is about the future. Alecto, Tdogg, Danny are right -- this is about feeling overwhelmed preparing for a future event. In any case, I'm everywhere but present.

Nothing to do but feel overwhelmed and pissy, I guess. Drink lots of chamomile tea or something. :p

[Daniel]

Nothing to do but feel overwhelmed and pissy, I guess. Drink lots of chamomile tea or something. :p

Champagne!

Really girl! You need a night out! Or a night in! Get that Bill to romance you. ;)

[pnggrad79]

Well my school district has blocked Soulforce and any other gay related website, so I can't access SF at school anymore. Consequently, I am so out of the loop on this.

Zerb, I don't know what is bothering you so much that you feel this out of sorts. I, too, have anger issues, and I don't know if you want to do this, but I went to my doctor and told her that I felt myself escalating when I got angry to the point where I had physical symptoms from it, and he put me on Zoloft. That was in Feb. and this is Sept. and although I still get angry, I quickly resolve and don't escalate anymore. I am not having the sleep disturbances I was having. It is a solution, but I don't know if you want to go that route.

If it is something that will resolve on its own, maybe getting away from the situation will allow you to get perspective and gather your wits about you.
Anger is a demon emotion and I didn't like what it did to me physically.

Just a suggestion, and I hope whatever is bothering you goes away or resolves itself. You are too precious to be bothered like this and frankly, I wish I was there with you, instead of here facing down a hurricane.

Take care of yourself and do what you need to do to feel better.

Much love to you.:love::love::love:

[Zerbie]

Well my school district has blocked Soulforce and any other gay related website, so I can't access SF at school anymore. Consequently, I am so out of the loop on this.

Zerb, I don't know what is bothering you so much that you feel this out of sorts.

If it is something that will resolve on its own, maybe getting away from the situation will allow you to get perspective and gather your wits about you.
Anger is a demon emotion and I didn't like what it did to me physically.

Just a suggestion, and I hope whatever is bothering you goes away or resolves itself. You are too precious to be bothered like this and frankly, I wish I was there with you, instead of here facing down a hurricane.

Take care of yourself and do what you need to do to feel better.

Much love to you.:love::love::love:

Me too!! That hurricane looks terrifying!
:pray::pray:

Btw, I may as well come clean about what it is that's making me so jumpy: I'm nervous about an event coming up in a few days, and have been juggling a lot of different tasks, bla bla bla. Expect this mood to run its course as the event approaches, takes place, ends, and then maybe a down phase for a few days after it's over.

There's just a lot to do and I can get nervous when something is important to me, as this event is. Even though it is well prepared.

Danny -- I love your suggestion about getting that hubby to romance me. :D I think our plan for this evening is an escapist movie. :p

[tymejumper]

Anyway -- I am definitely not thinking, feeling, or acting like myself today.
Can anyone send some pretty shiny rainbows or something?
:(:pray:



Happy happy joy joy, happy happy joy joy....I have been feeling antsy myself lately. I think its all the weather wierdness, the shifting seasons and political stress. I find myself a bit snappish, I think all the lies in tv really get to me and ruin my happy place. I am to the point of just turning the channel to Spongebob cartoons for some relief.

[Zerbie]

I finally identified exactly what is contributing to the jumpy feelings, and now finally, I am feeling calm and relaxed again.

It IS a combo of factors: there has been a lot to do with planning an event on my end, plus as usual I've been aware of the divisive politics which always bother me, and finally, the hurricane. Watching coverage from Houston it hit me just how nervous I feel about that, and it clicked -- oh, it's been everything combined.

Now that I've pin-pointed the source of the jumpy feelings, they've dissipated.

Funny how sometimes it all adds up and you don't feel like yourself for a while.

[Daniel]

Danny -- I love your suggestion about getting that hubby to romance me. :D I think our plan for this evening is an escapist movie. :p


Dinner at Eight or The Women

In the case of the later, I'm not talkng about the dreary remake that is out now. Shudder! The real thing is fabulous. And if you haven't seen it yet, you are missing something.


The 1939 film version was directed by George Cukor and starred Norma Shearer and Joan Crawford. Supporting cast included Rosalind Russell, Paulette Goddard, Joan Fontaine, Mary Boland, Marie Dressler, Jean Harlow and Douglas Fairbanks.

My favorite line?

Toujour L'amour!

This will, or course, earn you points on your gay card. And you get more points for Dinner at Eight.


Dinner at Eight is a Pre-Code 1933 comedy of manners/drama produced by MGM Studios. The film was adapted to the screen by Frances Marion and Herman J. Mankiewicz from the play by George S. Kaufman and Edna Ferber. Produced by David O. Selznick, it was directed by George Cukor.

Although it can technically be called a romantic comedy, it is a study of people during the Great Depression. The movie addresses topics like wealthy people dealing with the loss of money and prestige; relationships between men and women involving power, blind love, selfishness, and unselfishness; and relationships between the wealthy and those who work for them.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dinner_at_Eight_(film)

See it and laugh until you cry! And don't miss the triple-take by Marie Dressler at the end of the film as she responds to Jean Harlow. The stuff of legend.

http://www.tcm.com/tcmdb/title.jsp?stid=12530

Both films were directed by George Cukor. And he was gay as a goose! Really. What art! What style! What elan! They don't make pictures like this anymore.

Sigh.....

[Zerbie]

Oh wow! What fabulous suggestions! I haven't seen EITHER of them.

I think those should be slated for after the event is over. Sounds like a girl could get lost in those, so I wouldn't want to spoil the film experience by watching it right BEFORE something else that my attention and energy are all directed into.

Erm, can one get these on DVDs? Are they around the local rental places? Do we have to join Netflix? Where do we get 'em?

[Daniel]

Oh wow! What fabulous suggestions! I haven't seen EITHER of them.

I think those should be slated for after the event is over. Sounds like a girl could get lost in those, so I wouldn't want to spoil the film experience by watching it right BEFORE something else that my attention and energy are all directed into.

Erm, can one get these on DVDs? Are they around the local rental places? Do we have to join Netflix? Where do we get 'em?

I got each film at our local Barnes & Noble. Haven't joined Netflx, but I know plenty of people who use it and like it. You could order them onlne too.

You're going to love these films. The Women is a hoot! A classic like no other. Norma Shearer- the leading lady among many others- was a great star (she also starred in Marie Antoinette- for which she won an Oscar- I think!). And Dinner at Eight makes you laugh and cry. A great film!

Make me want to get them out and make some popcorn! Weeee!

[Zerbie]

I got each film at our local Barnes & Noble. Haven't joined Netflx, but I know plenty of people who use it and like it. You could order them onlne too.

You're going to love these films. The Women is a hoot! A classic like no other. Norma Shearer- the leading lady among many others- was a great star (she also stared in Marie Antoinette- for which she won an Oscar- I think!). And Dinner at Eight makes you laugh and cry. A great film!

Make me want to get them out and make some popcorn! Weeee!

Have at it! Sounds great!

I like older movies. Turner Classic channel is fun.
Seems to me there was more variety of script, more interesting and individual talent, a few decades ago.

[Daniel]

Have at it! Sounds great!

I like older movies. Turner Classic channel is fun.
Seems to me there was more variety of script, more interesting and individual talent, a few decades ago.

Snappy dialogue, that's for sure! And enunciation! Movie stars didn't mumble like everyone does now. Sigh....now everyone acts like they are in their living room.

What happened to style? To poise? To Greta Garbo? :rolleyes::lol:

[Rick336]

Zerbie,

I'm glad to hear you're back to normal and feeling better. But what am I supposed to do with all these shiny rainbows I was going to send you? The store won't take them back.

Rick ;)