Entitlement to...be loved

[scott snedeker]

Well, I just had an awareness opening today.

My sweet mother last week was proudly showing me her coral reef collage made from quilting material she was making for my brother and his wife. It really is fabulous! with patterns of fabric very closely matching the colours of corals, parrot fish, French angels, Brittlestars, jellyfish, etc. all cut out in detailed proportionate shapes of these animals. I went on and on how beautiful it was and that I couldn't wait to see my brother's and his wife's faces when my mother surprises them with it!

Then yesterday she called me and offered it to me! I was stunned and speechless and thanked her profusely, but I had to get off the phone. I was pulling up to my local gay campground for a night of...Ahem! well let's just say I intended to make Pan very proud of me!:D

I was confused, uneasy and even felt queasy and awkward kind of like I got caught cheating in bed. So I did a forgiveness meditation for having such a queer reaction to gift that is so wonderful on so many levels. I was still uneasy for the weekend which lead to pounding too many Heiniken at the party and missed out on a lot of fun.

So today I was sharing my recent practice of Vipassana meditation with a dear friend (Kind of a Den Mother who lives at the campground) who practices Zen daily. She gave me her book of 101 Zen stories. They are very short sometimes 3 sentences.

So I read the first story from 5th century Japan about a visitor who wanted to learn from a Zen master. The master invites the visitor for tea. As he pours the cup fills and then overflows but he continues pouring. The vistor exclaims "Stop!"

To which the Zen Master replies "Like the teacup already full can hold no more, Your mind is too full of what you think to be true for me to add anything to it!"

Ok so another Karmic convergence leads to an epiphany. I immediately call my mother this evening. To thank her from my heart with a genuine appreciation. I also shared my realisation that while I felt that my Brother and his wife were entitled to such a wonderful gift, I felt like a homeless beggar in a five-star hotel!

My impaired sense of entitlement blocked letting in the Joy of her gift! My "teacup" was full of mud. So for an hour I meditated on my entitlement to let in the joy of the appreciation of my two gifts this weekend. (Cleaned out my teacup)

It was a giddy and physically vertiginous feeling to have my worthiness proven to me and to accept and embrace these affirmations. I actually had a physical fear of falling like a great roller-coaster ride.

Guess I'm a Lucky boy! Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket?:lol:

[Daniel]

So today I was sharing my recent practice of Vipassana meditation with a dear friend (Kind of a Den Mother who lives at the campground) who practices Zen daily. She gave me her book of 101 Zen stories. They are very short sometimes 3 sentences.

So I read the first story from 5th century Japan about a visitor who wanted to learn from a Zen master. The master invites the visitor for tea. As he pours the cup fills and then overflows but he continues pouring. The vistor exclaims "Stop!"

To which the Zen Master replies "Like the teacup already full can hold no more, Your mind is too full of what you think to be true for me to add anything to it!"


I've read this story in the past, but hadn't thought of it for a while. Thank you or reminding me of it.

This story makes me reflect on how the things that I experience- be they my feelings or thoughts- take up a great deal of room. The whole universe- seemingly. :rolleyes::lol: But isn't that how it always is? I stand in line at the gorcery store and start having a fit because things aren't moving fast enough for my world. And which world would that be, I wonder? Obviously, not the one where I am in touch with the bigger picture, much less the Big Big Cosmic One. Or the world of the little old lady with sharp elbows, bad eyesight and a purse full or change which she punks on the counter a penny and a dime at time. Slowly. ;)

It's so easy to think that being One means that one will somehow be out of touch with everything and not really care. Enlightenment as a bon bon. A simple pleasure to be eaten and then on to the next one.

What I am saying here? That your real life connection with your mother- that is- getting the cup of your mind empty- leaves room for the Real.

Funny how this perspective is the opposite of "Fill My Cup Lord!....I Lift it Up Lord!" Not that the song and the Zen Story have that much in common. However, it does point out to me the theology of getting. The Eastern perspective, however, is a different one.

To be empty is to be full.

[keltic63]

Funny how this perspective is the opposite of "Fill My Cup Lord!....I Lift it Up Lord!" Not that the song and the Zen Story have that much in common. However, it does point out to me the theology of getting. The Eastern perspective, however, is a different one.

To be empty is to be full.

I think this is analogy is worth exploring.

the song (for those who don't know) expounds upon the concept that humans are looking for something to fill an empty hole within ourselves or our spirits. It says that we are thirsting for something, and that we often try to satisfy ourselves with material things.

we ask our God to "fill our cup" (from the woman at the well story) yet, we don't realize that our cups are already full of other stuff.

how can we become zen christians and learn to empty our cups first?

[Daniel]

how can we become zen christians and learn to empty our cups first?

Those two words have the makings of a koan. ;)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koan

Must be off here, but will be back later....