I need some guidance right about now....

[prairielesbian]

Im going to try to write this without crying....

Recall the Ray Boltz news of him being gay? Well... I made a comment on myspace today of what l James Dobson will have to say about this of Ray? (We all know how "opinionated" Dobson is)

My neice (daughter to my sister that has nothing to do with me - since I'm gay) sent me some article about Ray and that what he must do is repent (more or less) and pray to overcome this urge.

What freakin urge? Homosexuals nor heterosexuals are nothing like a light switch. We don't go around "switching" on or off of who we want to be for today. "I'm gonna try being straight today - flip my switch!" - Oh wait, that was an urge I had......

Why are people so narrow minded and not willing to understand that this is not a choice - to be gay? I did not flip a coin to choose what I should or should not be - this is who I am - a lesbian, and I refuse to further hide who I am.

And for most of "these" Christian righters.... they stress "sexual" when pronouncing homosexual. It is not all about sex - it's about LOVING someone, CARING for someone, HONORING someone, RESPECTING someone - the same guidelines that a married man and woman share.

I just don't understand why I'm not allowed to love someone. Why?... And I don't want some jumbled up bullshit from the Bible - I'm just fine with who I portray God to be - I'm fine with my God - it's the church I have issues with!!!!!!! Just because I gave my heart to someone, this is so wrong....

Why can't we just all get along and let mankind live? I love who I love, and you love who you love - SO BE IT!

And for Ray Boltz: Congratulations - he's set free! He's still a great man, and a wonderful singer and not one bit less of a Christian man.

For my sister and her family - I've cut the cord officially tonight. I know them not!

[Nyshana]

It's someone here whose signature contains this, and for the life of me I can't remember who, but I love the quote, whoever it is - "I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ."; quoted from Gandhi.
I think you know why "Christians" - and all sorts of other religious and non-religious people - discriminate against anyone, not just LGBT people... it's fear, and it's a sad thing, but fear is powerful - not as powerful as love, though, albeit more abundant than love.

Sorry... I had a whole long post in my head, then went to dunk my face in water to sober up and forgot it all. :S Still, I think the post is worth it for that quote alone.

[Matt Algren]

Ray Boltz's coming out has brought out a lot of armchair theologians who seem to be having a contest on who can be the saddest and most disappointed. (It's amazing how similar the blog posts have been, all using the same Christianese about "lovingly correcting" and "prayerfully chastising" and such. He seems to have brought out the adverb loving homophobes.

At first I tried to discuss (argue, fight) the issues, but that just led to predictable shouting matches. I changed my tactic with online commenting a couple days ago. I started simply stating the truth. No more arguing or justifying or debating or getting overheated. Just a link to the reason they're wrong with a period at the end.

Overall, the change has been successful. Truth is, they probably aren't going to be convinced by an argument with some guy on the internet. In two cases (out of about five), I've been completely shut out of the conversation. It's almost comical. In one (the author actually used the human/goat relationships and pedophilia slippery slope argument), the author said she hoped I wouldn't be offended if she just didn't respond to me. This morning, another blogger shut down comments on his post because he didn't want to discuss it. (He seemed to be fine with someone else praying for Ray's 'deliverance'.)

As far as family goes, yeah that sucks. Have you responded to your niece, Teresa?

[sauu4equality]

Hi Prairie,

I know exactly how you feel. My b-day was Monday and when I got a check in the mail from my grandmother I wanted to send it back. I am just so tired of the opinions of my family...and it makes me feel like a truly horrible person to feel so disconnected from them emotionally. I have since given up on trying to understand their views. This world is so incredibly confusing that I cannot judge anyone for their opinion any more...all I can do is try not to reply or act with the same fear or hatred. That is getting more and more difficult, but I think I made some strides this week. Hang in there. We all know Jesus/God/Allah/Buddha/[insert personal deity of choice here] loves us. That's not a question and those bloggers and family members that write and speak against us make our point if they say otherwise.
:flower2:;):)

[prairielesbian]

As far as family goes, yeah that sucks. Have you responded to your niece, Teresa?

I haven't responded nor do I plan too - it will cause a shouting match via online. Yeah shouting online! I would have no idea what to say, and besides, there'd be this "mother" that is a bigot standing behind my niece and feeding her the needed words.

How my niece went from loving me and adoring me a few months back (after hearing it from me that I'm gay) to now this....? A 14 yr. old girl has nothing to do with me.

The "hate" is thick in their home......

[Pablo Rafael]

The only advice I can offer is: Don't burn any bridges.
In the end I feel that love triumphs over hate. It may be a long struggle, but love is stronger than hate every time. Your relatives may be hostile at the the present time, but you need to give them the chance to change their minds. If they do change their minds, they will be able to come to you.

As a Christian I believe that God is love and that God showed his love to us by coming to earth, living as a human being and dying on the cross. That love of God triumphs over evil. Oftentimes I don't see God's love working, but I feel that in the end it always will.

I have found that most people who are homophobic are that way because they are misinformed and uneducated on the issue. They think that they are right. A change in mindset must come from within. Oftetimes that change is painfully slow.

I always avoid arguments and try to express my views as opinions and personal stories. People can't argue much with a personal story. I try to be kind and loving to everyone. That way I know that when hostilities come, I have done what I could, and the problem is theirs not mine. I generally find that when people have been hostile to me, and I have responed with kindness, it has totally taken the wind out of their sails.

I have a tendency to be non-confrontational. I think maybe a little too much that way.

[RedneckDyke]

Not burning any bridges is a good idea. REmember she is a kid who is slam stuck in a home where that stuff is taught. I was the same way. I grew up Southern Baptist and the church was my life. We went at least 3x a week and sometimes more. Everything the church said was automatically true and even to THINK about questioning the teaching was a damnable offense that sent you straight to hell. When your neice grows up and gets exposed to other churches and other people she will be more free to think another way.

[prairielesbian]

When your neice grows up and gets exposed to other churches and other people she will be more free to think another way.

I'm praying for that...... :)

[tymejumper]

I'm so sorry that your neice hurt you like that. Obviously, at 14, she did not understand how much it would hurt. Try not to be upset at her, it's her parents that are wrong here. I have the same thing with my brother and neice. I will probably never really know her, because I am lesbian. He brought her to my daughters 9th birthday party but did not make an attempt to met my wife. Pray that she finds a gay friend and changes her feelings.