Hi there...Logan here from BYU

[clarity]

As a closeted gay student at Brigham Young University I would like to personally thank each of the freedom riders who came to our campus in an effort to spread tolerance and acceptance for the GLTB community. It is great to know that there are young adults who are in a position to actively promote tolerance and take the initiative to do so. Thank you!!! I wish with all my heart that I could be with you, but the risk of loosing my scholarship at this university, my student standing, my religious ties, and most importantly the love and support of family and friends is too much for me to bear all at once at this point in my life. I would be left with nothing, an entirely destroyed shell of a human being. Perhaps through my actions I can prove to these important people in my life that I am a good, moral human being, and when I am able to share my sexual orientation with them they will be more tolerant of people “like us” (I hate stereotypical overgeneralizations). This is my part, as small as it is. I admire those of you who can and are doing more.

Logan

[closetcougar]

Hey,
I am in the same boat as you. I have too much to lose at this point. I will have much more to offer this movement as an educated person with a degree from BYU. I used to use BYU as a "crutch" so that I "couldn't" come out to my parents, siblings, nephews, nieces, friends, neighbors, etc. I have to be honest with you though. It gets old after awhile. The only reason I haven't come out to everyone is my education. I am just too far along at this point. You deserve to be at BYU as much as any other human being. I would encourage you to read the piece that was written by Haven Herrin, the SF codirector: It is 2 pages and very inspiring. I have to say, some days I wonder whether I am doing the right thing to stay quiet. http://www.advocate.com/exclusive_detail_ektid29831.asp

PS
I might take my name of the post if I were you. BYU does look at these things once in awhile. Or if a fellow student saw your name, s/he might turn you in, although you have admitted to nothing at this point...

[Daniel]

Perhaps through my actions I can prove to these important people in my life that I am a good, moral human being, and when I am able to share my sexual orientation with them they will be more tolerant of people “like us”



Welcome. Your message has me wanting to reach out and give you a big hug.

I've really glad that ERide's visit to your school prompted you to write and was a source of hope for you. That's why they came.

I hear you loud and clear about choosing the time and the place to be revealing about your sexuality considering the environment you are in. Jeopardizing your scholarship is serious stuff- and you are right not to take the matter lightly- especially when you've taken stock and seen the probable results of playing your hand too soon.

Now about this 'proving' yourself to you family. You have nothing to prove. As one wise friend said to me many years ago: "We teach each other how to treat us." Please think the best of yourself- God doesn't make junk.

In the meanwhile- please reach out to organizations that can help you there like Affirmation: Gay Mormons United. Keep reaching out. You'll find, in your connection with others, that you are not alone and then that step out of the closet will be much easier when the time comes.

I send you prayers and blessings.

[Emproph]

As I was reading your post, I was thinking, I should reply and say how “I just heard that story earlier tonight” (last night), and as I thought, "but I shouldn’t generalize with terms like “that story”, then I read this:(I hate stereotypical overgeneralizations) So I thought, ‘hey, it’s a sign.’ :)

...I would be left with nothing, an entirely destroyed shell of a human being...

Perhaps through my actions I can prove to these important people in my life that I am a good, moral human being, and when I am able to share my sexual orientation with them they will be more tolerant of people “like us” (I hate stereotypical overgeneralizations). This is my part, as small as it is. I admire those of you who can and are doing more. I admire them too.

I went to a PFLAG meeting earlier with my parents and Marc Adams from www.heartstrong.org was the speaker and spoke of actual horror stories just like you described could be possible for you.

As much as I hang around here, it was even eye opening for me, but as supportive as my parents are I’m glad they got the chance to hear about the reality more clearly.

Just wanted to pop in and say hey, and welcome. :rainbow:

[keltic63]

welcome Logan!

I believe that your story is one of the many reasons the Equality Ride is taking place. We've felt a lot of heat here in the forums in the past few weeks. There are some lgbt students who would prefer that the ERide stay away. I'm glad that you recieved encouragement from the riders!

As far as "proving" anything to the important people in your life, you have nothing to prove. The way you live your life is proof enough. If they can't see that now, you'll never convince them.

[Zerbie]

What everyone else just said! Yeah, all that!:D

Like Daniel, I feel moved to offer you hugs after reading your post. Here. :love:

Clarity - what a beautiful screen name. Love it!

As to your situation - you are wise to evaluate your safety, emotional, psychological, educational. There is such a thing as coming out too soon - believe me, I know. I did it. Do not carry any extra burden now over the fact that you have not come out. You don't "owe" it to "the gay community" to throw away your education, you do what is best for you and live according to your timeline and your values.

I'm glad the Ride gave you hope and encouragement. After all the "heat" of this week, it's great to hear such positive words.

Welcome again to the forums.