Guidance needed, or some kind of explanation...

[Jennifer5]

Here's my situation:

I take the PSAT on Saturday. It's early in the morning, which is not good for the way my brain works. It is in a room with a ton of people that I do not know, which I don't do very well with. It is simply a test, another thing I'm not good with.

My mom wants me to do well and will do whatever she can to make sure I do.

However, I find myself not feeling the same way. I'm tired of the voices saying that you will do well. I don't like the people cheering me on anymore. I don't want people talking about all the good scores on things and ignoring the bad ones.

I fell like it's completely backwards, but I almost wish to do horribly. I'm getting sick of the pressure. My goal it to be relaxed and do only my best, if that means barely passing then I'm ok with that.


Why do I feel this way? I'm being encouraged to do well, that should be a good thing, right? It is good or bad that I am not afraid of failing?
:confused:Someone please help me understand.

[BruceChris]

I would go to bed early, the night before, and get up early, Then I would hammer the stairclimber, hard, until the sweat was poring off of me. :eek:

For me, exercize blows out all of the cobwebs, of which I have many at my age, and makes me feel smarter and more self confident. (Some experts say that exercize does this for most people. Some doctors have used exercize as a treatment for depression.) Then take a hot shower, and go gettum, tiger! . :agree: . :wave:

Peace and Love, Bruce Chris

[Jennifer5]

I would go to bed early, the night before, and get up early, Then I would hammer the stairclimber, hard, until the sweat was poring off of me. :EEK!:

For me, exercize blows out all of the cobwebs, of which I have many at my age, and makes me feel smarter and more self confident. (Some experts say that exercize does this for most people. Some doctors have used exercize as a treatment for depression.) Then take a hot shower, and go gettum, tiger!

Peace and Love, Bruce Chris

Thanks, I appreciate the advise... and I have thought about such things. Here's the problem though, I almost want to do badly just to get people off my back. I think the expectations are too high perhaps.

Why do I want to fail right now?

[Zerbie]

Then give yourself permission to do a lousy job. Also give yourself permission to do a great job.

Your task on Saturday isn't to think about results. Your job is to show up, study the questions, and select what seems at the time to be the best answer. So just do that.

Exercise in the morning if that gets your spirits up. I would, because having moved early would enable me to sit still long enough to take the test, which is the sort of thing I worry about.
Eat your favorite breakfast. Bring a water bottle and a healthy snack with you (I think PSATs have a break time scheduled, don't they?) Nibble carrots or an apple or something to keep your brain fed.
Bring earplugs if you think there might be ambient noise bothering you.

But don't bother about results. You don't get to grade the test, so don't even bother thinking about it. You're allowed to do anywhere from horrible to record-smashing fantastic, and anything in between.

For the moment, do something to release the pressure that's building up inside you. It's possible to be TOO fixated on preparation. Let yourself go watch a movie or something else distracting and fun a couple days before.

[Jennifer5]

Then give yourself permission to do a lousy job. Also give yourself permission to do a great job.

Your task on Saturday isn't to think about results. Your job is to show up, study the questions, and select what seems at the time to be the best answer. So just do that.

Exercise in the morning if that gets your spirits up. I would, because having moved early would enable me to sit still long enough to take the test, which is the sort of thing I worry about.
Eat your favorite breakfast. Bring a water bottle and a healthy snack with you (I think PSATs have a break time scheduled, don't they?) Nibble carrots or an apple or something to keep your brain fed.
Bring earplugs if you think there might be ambient noise bothering you.

But don't bother about results. You don't get to grade the test, so don't even bother thinking about it. You're allowed to do anywhere from horrible to record-smashing fantastic, and anything in between.

For the moment, do something to release the pressure that's building up inside you. It's possible to be TOO fixated on preparation. Let yourself go watch a movie or something else distracting and fun a couple days before.

You can't take food or water which is really stupid, but at least we do get breaks (or a break?).

Thank you, I think that was what I needed to hear. :love:

[Alecto]

It sounds like there's two different things going on (and correct me if I'm way off base).
Sounds like you're a little worried about how you'll do on this test, but it also sounds like you feel trapped by your image as an (over?)achiever. You've gotten a lot of great advice on this one individual test: the only thing I'd add is that the PSAT's aren't all that big a deal. They're literally just practice for the SATs. If you don't do well, that's kind of the point of 'em is so that you can see what the SATs are going to be like, and get an idea of how you might do.

As for the big picture: I've been there, but when it happened to me it was because all of a sudden I WAS doing miserably at one class, not because I was afraid I might. And you know what? I still made it through highschool, my parents got over it, and I got into the college of my choice. Stuff came up, and I bombed the hell out of college, too, but my parents and friends still like me, I've gotten stuff together and I'm back in school now. Perspective-wise: it might be very frustrating to be set back (I don't recommend full on failliing out of college if it can be helped; it starts to feel worse when all your friends are graduating and moving on), but if you've got your goals, you can still reach them. And if you don't, you've still got time to figure them out.

[Jennifer5]

It sounds like there's two different things going on (and correct me if I'm way off base).
Sounds like you're a little worried about how you'll do on this test, but it also sounds like you feel trapped by your image as an (over?)achiever. You've gotten a lot of great advice on this one individual test: the only thing I'd add is that the PSAT's aren't all that big a deal. They're literally just practice for the SATs. If you don't do well, that's kind of the point of 'em is so that you can see what the SATs are going to be like, and get an idea of how you might do.

As for the big picture: I've been there, but when it happened to me it was because all of a sudden I WAS doing miserably at one class, not because I was afraid I might. And you know what? I still made it through highschool, my parents got over it, and I got into the college of my choice. Stuff came up, and I bombed the hell out of college, too, but my parents and friends still like me, I've gotten stuff together and I'm back in school now. Perspective-wise: it might be very frustrating to be set back (I don't recommend full on failliing out of college if it can be helped; it starts to feel worse when all your friends are graduating and moving on), but if you've got your goals, you can still reach them. And if you don't, you've still got time to figure them out.

Thanks :love:

I think the problem is that other have exceptations. I do just need to remember that it really doesn't matter how I do on this. It means nothing and it means nothing to me. :)

I have no intention of trying to do a bad job, I just don't want to be stressed.

[BruceChris]

Jen, whatever else, just hope that they don't ask you to spell "exceptations". :lol: .:agree: . :disagree: . :wave:

Peace and Love, Bruce Chris

[Jennifer5]

Jen, whatever else, just hope that they don't ask you to spell "exceptations". :lol: .:agree: . :disagree: . :wave:

Peace and Love, Bruce Chris

:rofl: I can't believe I did that!
e-x-p-e-c-t-a-t-i-o-n-s


...anyway, that wasn't that bad I just switched the p & c :rolleyes:

My problems with spelling aren't usually spelling at all, typos are usually my problem :D

[Gregory_de_Bois]

Having taken the PSAT twice now (sophomore and junior years), don't be worried about it. The test itself doesn't determine whether you get into college, sure it helps if you do well, but remember this and remain calm. Go to bed early, but not too out of the ordinary. Eat breakfast for the glucose! :p

Do some sun salutations that morning and the mornings prior. Remain Calm and drink water! Be sure to stretch when allowed and eat snacks when allowed, it'll keep you going!

I'm sure you'll do well! Godspeed!

Grace and Peace

[Jennifer5]

Having taken the PSAT twice now (sophomore and junior years), don't be worried about it. The test itself doesn't determine whether you get into college, sure it helps if you do well, but remember this and remain calm. Go to bed early, but not too out of the ordinary. Eat breakfast for the glucose! :p

Do some sun salutations that morning and the mornings prior. Remain Calm and drink water! Be sure to stretch when allowed and eat snacks when allowed, it'll keep you going!

I'm sure you'll do well! Godspeed!

Grace and Peace

Thanks, I appreciate the encouragement! :)

[Jennifer5]

I just wanted to say thanks for all of these responses...

I took the PSAT this morning, way to early, and I was completely calm. All of my anxiety was pretty much gone by today, because I was able to work it out days before. I don't really care how I did and it really helped to know (or be reminded) that it doesn't really matter that much.

I worry about stupid things sometimes. :rolleyes:...
So thank you for calming me down... :love: :love: :love:

[scott snedeker]

Sometimes when I am not feeling faery good about myself, and then someone praises me, it makes me feel worse.

I think this is because The Praise creates another goal or expectation that I fear I can't live up to. This contrast creates another potential to expose my inadequacy. Outside Judging activates inner Judging.

I find that if I focus on my sense of inadequacy and understand where it came from, I can also see that I am doing my best after all. I visualize the shining being of my inner spirit and focus my awareness of my integration of intellect with my lower brain and then with my body.

Then I find it impossible to judge myself inadequate.

Namaste:love::love:

[Jennifer5]

Sometimes when I am not feeling fery good about myself, and then someone praises me, it makes me feel worse.

I think this is because The Praise creates another goal or expectation that I fear I can't live up to. This contrast creates another potential to expose my inadequacy. Outside Judging activates inner Judging.

I find that if I focus on my sense of inadequacy and understand where it came from, I can also see that I am doing my best after all. I visualize the shining being of my inner spirit and focus my awareness of my integration of intellect with my lower brain and then with my body.

Then I find it impossible to judge myself inadequate.

Namaste:love::love:


I think that is very accurate!

What I've discovered... and will have to remember if I want it to help me in the future, is that avoiding it is NOT going to help me. I used to think it was good to just not think about the moment that I was worried about, until I had to face it. Now, I think that the best way to do it is to think about it, a lot and quit far in advance.

What I did was very similar to what you are saying (or the same, maybe I didn't fully understand what you were saying...). I freaked out ahead of time and knew that I really would do badly if I was in that mind-set when it came down to it and more importantly, I knew it was really unhealthy to feel that way at all. So, I asked for guidance and I was talked down. I often find the most comfort from the most unexpected source. I had enough time to think about what was said and I simply let it go altogether. At that point I was able to be completely relexed about the idea for a few days before. By the time I had to actually do it, I still did not care about what the results would look like, but I was completely relaxed in a setting where I thought I wouldn't be. In-fact, I actually kind of enjoyed the whole thing and would not at all mind having to do it more often.:cool:

[scott snedeker]

And I can tell that you do feel good about yourself...and what's more It came from within you and no one else.

Gee! That sounds awfully familiar!:lol:

[Jennifer5]

And I can tell that you do feel good about yourself...and what's more It came from within you and no one else.

Gee! That sounds awfully familiar!:lol:

I'm hoping that feeling good about myself and being full of myself are VERRRY different!:confused:

[scott snedeker]

I'm hoping that feeling good about myself and being full of myself are VERRRY different!:confused:

Being full of yourself is a "near enemy" of good self esteem.

Being full of yourself implies that you compare yourself to others with the intent of compensating for your own sense of inadequacy by making others feel inferior. That is predatory gratification. People are made to feel uneasy

Feeling good about yourself And sharing the good feeling is sharing a gift that you have been given. People share your good feeling and feel as if they received a gift also. Even those who feel bad about themselves can fantasize living joy through you.

[Jennifer5]

Thank you for clarifying. When I read both "high self esteem" and "being full of myself", to me they feel like they could be very similar. :rolleyes: Of course, I guess that was a very important to clarify.

I can't think of any time in my life where I felt better because someone is was failing. I get very protective when I think someone I love is being hurt.:love: