Paper: "gay culture"

[Alecto]

I'm writing a paper for an introductory sociology class on a "group to which I am a member". It's honestly [I]less[I] academic than I'm normally comfortable with and requires no legitimate research, just anecdotes. (I might throw in the research anyway because in some areas I think it will make a better paper). I'm probably going to focus on gay male culture. I do believe in "community" and I do believe that there's a greater queer community, but the culture for that is often slanted towards gay males anyway (which is problematic, but that's a whole different academic paper). I also figured that while I do have lesbian, bisexual, and trans friends, it's best to stick to specifics that I can speak to from my own personal experience.

So, I just wanted to ask folks' opinions: anything I'd be wont to neglect to include? We're focusing on norms, values, symbols, myths, and customs that differ from the greater culture. (I am already planning an apologia for the concept of "gay culture", then talking about outting, the rainbow, stonewall-as-myth, and polari - the origins of "gay slang")

[BenL]

I think the most problematic aspect of gay male culture is the public perception that the whole scene revolves around promiscuous sex. That certainly is the objection of many straight people who know little or nothing about gay men. It is also the perception of many gay men themselves, who regret that sex seems to be the secret handshake among their peers.

I think the overemphasis on sex, real or perceived, is at the root of most homophobia, both outside and within the community. The prevalence of alcohol and drugs in some parts of the community does little to dispel the public's notion of what being a gay man means.

Now, you may rightly counter that those elements are way too prominent in the general culture. Look at advertising and music videos as just two examples. But people are much more ready to see the mote in the gay man's eye than the beam in their own. (Not to mention that a lot of people may be jealous that we're having way more fun than they are. :eek: :lol: )

Gay marriage is a wonderful antidote to this poisonous perception. The more our neighbors see gay men who love each other committing their lives publicly to each other, the more mainstream the gay male experience will become.

The biggest thing, I think, is to help people understand that being gay is far more than who we are attracted to and what we do in bed. The gay community has been forged in the crucible of discrimination. We learn our self-worth at great price. That's what makes us different.

[sauu4equality]

BenL,

I think you make some good points. However, I think homophobia has nothing to do with promiscuity. A straight man is disgusted by the act. Not the number of times it happens. You may have come to this conclusion because you've heard people say AIDS was God's punishment for being gay or others say gay men get aids more often than the general population (neither of these things are true), but I think you have to realize that homophobia existed before fears of spreading STD's. If you apply a straight male perspective to lesbians, my point is illustrated. Do you think straight men would have any problem with elevated levels of promiscuity in lesbians? The real root of homophobia is hatred of women. See the sociology of gender if you're interested in why this is. The irritation with the promiscuity of some gay men is probably more of a factor in the internalized homophobia of some gay men who would like to have a lasting relationship, as you did alude to. This is in error because it is judgemental. It also doesn't sound any different from a bitter straight woman's experience: "Men only want one thing." "They don't like commitment." The difference in promiscuity probably stems from women's lower sex drives. I won't go into why this exists right now, because that would take forever and I am very opinionated on that particular topic. In short, I don't think the fact that women have lower sex drives makes a woman with a high sex drive a slut or abnormal.

Alecto,

I am a Sociology Grad Student. I am not sure my expertise would help you on this paper. I think the major difference between gay male culture is our lack of limitations on gender roles. Because we are social outcasts we have our own rules regarding what a man is "supposed" to look like and act. We do not always adhere to societies rules on being a man. We hug our friends, we show our emotions and we like to pamper ourselves. On the same token, we may like traditionally masculine activities like sports. But either way, we do not feel limited by societies rules of gender. I would say we are also much more likely to take traditionally female jobs like teaching and decorating. We also have impeccable taste or think we have impeccable taste. Style of dress is valued more in the gay male community. And keeping a clean and neat (and stylish) pad is also more important to gay males than straight men. Weight control is important to gay men as well. It is valued to be fit in our population. This is not always a good thing. I think it subjects us to the same dangers as women who try to look like the supermodels. We probably have a higher rate of eating disorders than straight men.

Ok, that's all I've got. Good luck on the paper if you haven't already written it!

[Matt Algren]

I think the overemphasis on sex, real or perceived, is at the root of most homophobia, both outside and within the community. The prevalence of alcohol and drugs in some parts of the community does little to dispel the public's notion of what being a gay man means.
A reasonable response (http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/2008/09/24/2996) from University College London professor Michael King, and Alecto, something you might include (since it's from a big university guy):

We suggest in our review that the availability of alcohol and drugs at gay social venues may be a factor in the greater risk of drug and alcohol misuse in LGB people. Reducing this problem is something for which LGB people must take greater responsibility. However, the fact that discrimination still exists in our societies means that many are forced to use such venues to meet each other rather than through more common ways available to heterosexuals, such as at work, during the pursuit of hobbies and past-times, or at church.

[RedneckDyke]

There are some funny stereotypes about all of us. If you read comics like "Dykes to Watch Out For" it features some of that. THings like the gay man gym rat, the lesbian parents, the woman's bookstore that sells feminist studies lit and also sex toys. It's a funny place to start looking for "gay culture"

There is also rural gay culture like gay rodeos and country western bars like the Rainbow Cattle Company in Austin. Not that Austin is rural.

[Alecto]

I think that the tie-in for MOST of what I've read here (and something I paradoxically love and hate about being gay) is that we are a-traditional. Not anti-traditional, but more inclined to be neutral. We've already had to overcome perceptions of ourselves based on society, so we're more inclined to rule society out as a credible source. It takes more than "just tradition" to justify any set of behaviors: sexual norms (beyond gender) included, gender roles included. And I do believe that this FORCES us to be more creative, on average, than the general population because we don't always have that tradition to fall back on. This certainly carries over into other areas, and leads to a stereotype.

I'll be writing the paper proper on Wednesday and Thursday: THANKS for the suggestions! I need to reign in a focus a little bit, but that definitely helped.

[wmanion]

Alecto,
Could you post it after it is written? I would really like to read it.

Thanks,
Bill

[Alecto]

Sure. (is it weird I'm more nervous about its reception here than I am about the grade?). :)

Also: today is totally Wednesday. Holiday on Monday is wreaking havoc with my sense of time.