Ejaculation

[AJLove]

Why do men feel different after they ejaculate. It seems after I do I feel weak mentally and a little depressed and a few moments later I'm normal again. Is this normal does this happen to all men.

[Zerbie]

Hormones. Men experience a change in hormone levels after ejaculation. It is very normal to feel tired afterward. Hormones affect our mood, too, as well as energy level.

[keltic63]

Hormones. Men experience a change in hormone levels after ejaculation. It is very normal to feel tired afterward. Hormones affect our mood, too, as well as energy level.


especially if you do it right!

[sauu4equality]

Hi AJ,

I have 2 questions for you just so we can rule out a couple of social reasons why you may feel this way. If we can rule these 2 items out of the equation then I agree that it may, in fact, be a hormonal thing as Zerbie suggested.

1:
Do you feel that you have in some way let God down when you've ejaculated? I used to when I was a teenager. I felt extreme guilt which led to a somewhat depressed feeling. One of my conservative Baptist friends actually liberated me from this idea. He told me that as long as you don't lust, an ejaculation in and of itself is not a sin. Beyond that I know that God intended for us to sin and following this sin, he doesn't love us any less. The sin that God is concerned about is the sin you deny. So, fire away and tell God that every once in a while you just can't help yourself. There are many health benefits to ejaculation. It may lower your risk of prostate cancer to have 6 ejaculations per week. I believe, although I'm uncertain, that blood pressure is also lowered following ejaculation. Anyway, on to social reason number 2.

2:
Are you alone for a long period of time following ejaculation? In other words, do you have a partner in the times that you are depressed after ejaculation? Often loneliness could be more the reason for depressed mood following ejaculation rather than something inherant in the act or the biological aspects of it. Even a partner who doesn't love you could be a reason for this. Say if you have a partner and he has to leave once everything is done or he is aloof emotionally you're not going to feel very loved. You may also feel like you are being used.

So, my suggestion is to first look into the social aspects of feeling down following ejaculation and try to avoid situations where this would be the case. If this is not possible, plan to do something stimulating after you're done, and immediately transition to that next thing without thinking. Simply being tired after ejaculation for me does not cause depressed mood. It sometimes helps me go to sleep.

Last note...for the lesbians that read this response, I am truly sorry. I cannot imagine anything you would find less appealing than talking about male ejaculation. But if you got this far....you might want to think about the "bi" label ;).

[ctozrn]

I am definetely NOT bi! I just saw the topic and thought it was a little random so I thought I would take a look!

Many people don't know that the clitoris is the same exact tissue as the penis. In development, they start as the same and then develop into different things. The clitoris enlargens during sex just as the penis does.....and many women EJACULATE! It's not just for the boys anymore! :) I also think that many people feel many different emotions after orgasm. Some people even cry. I think many people feel fatigue and that is why many of us fall fast asleep afterwards!

Just my little part in this public service announcement!

Christine

[u-dog]

The brain releases a massive dose of endorphins into your blood stream during orgasm (and what leads up to it). As soon as sex is over it begins to dissipate. What you are feeling is a kind of withdrawal.

[Unmasked]

It's different for some people. I vary between feeling exausted and feeling energized. Usually I feel either elated, or incredibly relaxed, sometimes both. Being somebody who is rather anxious, exaustion comes rather welcome.

[scott snedeker]

"All I need is the air that I breathe and to love you!"

Great song about the afterglow. Western interpretation is endorphin release and the activation of the parasympathetic (Healing) side of the central nervous system. Afterglow is good for you. Now it depends on your spiritual paradigm as to the "good" or "evil" attachments to it.

If you feel guilty for having an orgasm, well that sounds unhealthy. If you celebrate orgasms and the afterglow as a gift that the enjoyment of which is appreciated by nature, that sounds healthy and wholesome.

I say have them and as often as you can!:lol:

[tymejumper]

Isn't that the part when men are suppost to roll over and go to sleep? At lest that is MY experience with them!

Seriously though, everyone feels different, usually I feel very relaxed but I supposed if you feel ashamed for being gay then I guess you could be depressed. I have heard of people actually crying after orgasm.

[Alecto]

Early on, I'd have weird guilt and shame issues. And I knew consciously that it was because I didn't know "gay" yet, but knew I was thinking about boys and that other boys didn't do that.

Most of what you describe sounds normal and healthy, but I guess we're all a little worried about the "depressed" part and what exactly that means, because a lot of us have had similar problems that were not part of the normal and healthy.

[Daniel]

After an orgasm is a lot different that a decrease in endophins. And I think that this the distinction to draw here.

[AJLove]

The thing about it is I dont feel depressed every time I do it. And when I do it doesnt last very long sometimes.

[Unmasked]

Not to pry, but is this after masturbation or do you have a partner? Some people have a specific guilt about self-pleasure. I don't understand it because I don't feel shame, but I know it happens.

[AJLove]

Mostly after masturbation

[Unmasked]

A lot of people have a separation of sex and masturbation built into their minds. People find it dirty, or selfish, or in some strange way wrong, because they are conditioned to think badly of it. I didn't start masturbating until I was 17, and drunk on fruity girl drinks. That was a really bad start, but I had things fixed in my head, and while I was a volcano of lust, I just never did it. The drink lowered my inhibitions enough to get me through my first time, but I could almost never do it alone (I used to have a lot of -chats- with female friends), because I associated sex with love, and I wanted another person to make me feel loved. But because of this association, and a lot of spiritual guidance, I started learning to love myself, and then I began "loving myself". I could feel good alone, and I was finally starting to be okay with myself. If all else fails, you can take the Bride of Christ metaphor literally. It can be extremely fulfilling if you have the right mindset and ideas about love and lovemaking.

Masturbation is a way of taking care of yourself and your sexual needs, and has benefits that even a partner can't provide. You get to know yourself really well that way.

Guilt and depression after are not healthy or natural, but they do happen. The only real way to get rid of them is to wrestle with your thoughts and feelings on sexual issues.

This issue has made me think a bit about things, namely the possibility of a Sex and Sexuality board. It's an important issue, both in and outside the realm of faith.

[tymejumper]

I just talked with my 12 year old son about it again. Masturbation that is. He got worried he was doing it too much. Like you CAN do it too much! I told him that that is what people do, it's normal and as long as you do other things also, it's fine. I just told him to use some lube if he was getting sore or anything. So, we have a pretty go raport about sexuality. It's nothing to be ashamed of AJ. It's really normal and some of us use it as foreplay with a partner also. Or alone. Everyone pretty much does it. There is no sin in it, it's responsible sexual expression and prefectly healthy.

[labguy22]

I jump up and charge to the kitchen. My husband on the otherhand charges outside for a cigarette; if it's really good he'll break into his stash of clove cigarettes :pirate:

[tymejumper]

I jump up and charge to the kitchen. My husband on the otherhand charges outside for a cigarette; if it's really good he'll break into his stash of clove cigarettes :pirate:



:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:


I thought only lesbians got up and cooked afterwards....and the focus is usually chocolate based.

[labguy22]

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:


I thought only lesbians got up and cooked afterwards....and the focus is usually chocolate based.


OMG.....I am laughing so hard my sides ache!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Zerbie]

I jump up and charge to the kitchen. My husband on the otherhand charges outside for a cigarette; if it's really good he'll break into his stash of clove cigarettes :pirate:

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:


I thought only lesbians got up and cooked afterwards....and the focus is usually chocolate based.

Oh gee. And I thought only lesbians smoked clove cigarettes! :eek::rolleyes::lol:

[keltic63]

I just talked with my 12 year old son about it again. Masturbation that is. He got worried he was doing it too much. Like you CAN do it too much! I told him that that is what people do, it's normal and as long as you do other things also, it's fine. I just told him to use some lube if he was getting sore or anything. So, we have a pretty go raport about sexuality. It's nothing to be ashamed of AJ. It's really normal and some of us use it as foreplay with a partner also. Or alone. Everyone pretty much does it. There is no sin in it, it's responsible sexual expression and prefectly healthy.


my dad told me: 9 out of 10 people do it, and the 10th one is a liar!

I jump up and charge to the kitchen. My husband on the otherhand charges outside for a cigarette; if it's really good he'll break into his stash of clove cigarettes :pirate:

I confess, I run to the kitchen for cookies and milk. If I've gained a little weight, it's because I'm getting a lot of sex! :o

[tdogg]

Oh gee. And I thought only lesbians smoked clove cigarettes! :eek::rolleyes::lol:

You are too funny, I busted up! I don't smoke clove cigarettes, but I did have a momentary vision of it!

Normally, a good 10 or 15 minute nap is the thing for me! That nap right after sex is pure bliss! Then I run to the kitchen. :D

[ctozrn]

I must be doing it wrong! I have NEVER smoked clove cigarettes after...or ever! I never go to the kitchen...I am always in this wonderful comatose bliss and drift off into coma land...that is the best sleep! Now that I am single I don't know what I am going to do! You all are making me long for the good ole days! I have to say though, I never go to the kitchen after.....just enjoy that high!!!

Christine

[tdogg]

The kitchen run depends on the time of day. :cool::D

Lately, I've been so involved and wrapped up in No on 8, I'm not sure I'll remember how to do it when we get back to it. :confused::lol:

[Daniel]

We 'go there'. To the places that other forums with the moniker 'Christian' don't go. And we have fun doing it.

This topic reminds me of something a counselor once said to me: Sex is like Chinese food: you want more in two hours!

[Unmasked]

My post-orgasm treat is fresh fruit, normally a crisp red apple (though not a Red Delicious, they only seem to taste good three days out of the year...and those days are randomly chosen days that I am nowhere near a Red Delicious).

Two hours? I usually want more in twenty minutes. Especially that crab rangoon. So tasty.

[BrianB]

:weee:Sex endorphins are better than narcotics!

[pnggrad79]

This lesbian doesn't smoke any cigarettes of any kind, or anything else for that matter, and I don't like chocolate. After really good sex, I lay there tingling and vibrating all over, my toes start to uncurl and my wife just lays there kissing all over me. Then I drift off into a deep sleep. A few times, I have cried but simply because it was a release of pent up frustrations over a hard week. In fact, if we have sex in the morning, I am no good until at least noon and I still look like I just got laid, all day.

AJ- don't worry about it, dude. You were made that way and sometimes guys just need that release. My ex husband would do it all the time. Funny, though, he couldn't last very long when we did have sex. So....
Probably, TMI-sorry.

Guys just have that naturally and it is good not to keep it all in. You will be a lot happier and healthier if you don't let your brain get in the way of your body and what naturally happens.

I just wish that you had someone to share it with....

[Unmasked]

Haha. That's fantastic. I love when my female friends tell me things I didn't need to know. The pregnant ones are the best. They always tell me every detail of their past and present sex lives. Is oversharing a pregnant thing or a queer thing (the woman I'm thinking of was both, I'm pretty sure)? Or do I just manage to find all of the fun girls?

[tymejumper]

Haha. That's fantastic. I love when my female friends tell me things I didn't need to know. The pregnant ones are the best. They always tell me every detail of their past and present sex lives. Is oversharing a pregnant thing or a queer thing (the woman I'm thinking of was both, I'm pretty sure)? Or do I just manage to find all of the fun girls?



Ya know what? Ellie and I just had this disscussion with the girls next door. We are lucky to have lesbian neighbors so we have a bit of Castro Street right on OUR street:lol: Anyhow, my neighbor was asking me if only the straight girls gave TMI, that it seemed to her that straight women talk about their sex lives all the time. She also noted that in the black community, they are taught that you just don't go there at all. You don't talk about body functions, poopin, peein or menstration, no sex, or body odor, they are all no-nos. She said her mother told her nice black girls don't speak of things like that.

I guess for me, after helping so many people with intimate tasks such as toileting etc, body functions do not seem like a big deal. Health care workers have heard it all(Christine and Scotty, you know what I mean) I get younger patients in their 50s and 60s that want to go back to vibrant sexual activity ASAP and want to know how to do so therapeutically so they don't damage their new hips or knees or backs. I guess it takes alot to embarass me anymore! I do try to be mindful of others comfort level.

[ctozrn]

Oh yes, as a nurse I think I'll talk about anything. Nothing emabarasses me anymore. I see bodyparts all day everyday so when you look at penis' and vaginas, putting in catheters....trying to find the right hole....the rest just seems really trivial! To me it's just like an elbow or a knee...no big deal!

My son loves that I will talk openly about everything. My daughter, not so much! She blushes when I say the word "panties" and makes me step out of the dressing room when we are clothes shopping! She is the biggest prude! At 15 though, I will take Ms. Modesty any day of the week!

Christine

[tymejumper]

Oh yes, as a nurse I think I'll talk about anything. Nothing emabarasses me anymore. I see bodyparts all day everyday so when you look at penis' and vaginas, putting in catheters....trying to find the right hole....the rest just seems really trivial! To me it's just like an elbow or a knee...no big deal!

My son loves that I will talk openly about everything. My daughter, not so much! She blushes when I say the word "panties" and makes me step out of the dressing room when we are clothes shopping! She is the biggest prude! At 15 though, I will take Ms. Modesty any day of the week!

Christine



Oh, that is really sweet! My teen is pretty modest also. The clothes she wears are nothing too tight or short. My wife is also very modest. She does not believe that if you hang your panties outside on the laundry line that they should show. You need to hang them on the line between towels or something because they are 'underthings'. Me, I'm the type to go outside in the backyard(it's surrounded by a stockade fence and you can't see in the backyard) IN my panties to hang up the laundry! :lol: I have to be more careful now that my son is older, so I have to be modest around him. I even traded in my bikini for a tankini. :rolleyes:

[ctozrn]

I am the same way! I am very comfortable skinny dipping, prancing around the house half dressed or not at all! I too have to be very comfortable since I have a 17 year old son. I am just glad that my daughter isn't taking after me....at least right now!

[micah6.8.]

...I am very comfortable skinny dipping, prancing around the house half dressed or not at all! ... Might drop in for a visit some time...
http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e397/reifspano/Smileys/avatar_6315.gif

As for autoeroticism, or "driving one's own car," some years ago a friend and I agreed that sometimes it's little more than blowing one's nose. Congestion and pressure build up and have to be relieved so that one can be comfortable again. No big whoop.

[scott snedeker]

Might drop in for a visit some time...
http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e397/reifspano/Smileys/avatar_6315.gif

As for autoeroticism, or "driving one's own car," some years ago a friend and I agreed that sometimes it's little more than blowing one's nose. Congestion and pressure build up and have to be relieved so that one can be comfortable again. No big whoop.


It's pressure from Nature saying "You are not having enough sex! Get on with it or I'll hafta Hurt ya!":poke::laughing: