Life Sucks Today!!

[ctozrn]

I have had a really shitty week and just thought I would vent here! Last week we enrolled my 17 year old son in a drug rehab outpatient program. I had to come up with a lot of money since insurance covers very little...as in none right now since there is a 4,000.00 deductible. My partner moved out today. About half the furniture is gone. Everything is in a disarray....Half of my family income is gone. The holidays are approaching. What I thought was going to be a friendly split got a little heated. I feel angry and am grieving about my son. Am trying to focus on my daughter who is an awesome young lady.

I feel like giving up but for some reason I keep waking up breathing! Anyway, that is my life in a nutshell. I am so emotionally overwhelmed I just needed to vomit it here. I do see glimmer of hope here and there. I am actually looking forward to being single and doing the MANY things I have wanted to do for so long.

Thanks for all your support this month!

Christine

[pnggrad79]

Partner moved out again? Oh jeez, Christine! What is the deal? And on top of it all, your 17 yo is in for drug rehab? When it rains it pours, huh? I am so sorry and if there is anything I can do to help, please let me know. I won't bore you with trite cliches. I just hope and pray that it gets better for you soon. It can't get much worse. Love ya, much!

[Rick336]

Christine,

I'm sorry to hear that your other half has moved out and that things didn't work out for the two of you. I'm also sorry to hear that your son is going through a bad time. But I'm glad that you feel you can come in here and talk to us about it. That's what we're here for.

Life does indeed suck sometimes. I've sure had my share of problems in the past and I'm sure there are more problems lurking in the shadows ahead. But we all have our good days and bad days. It's like the lyrics of that country song by Darryl Worley that came out back in '04. He sings about how life is like a roller coaster ride, sometimes awful, sometimes beautiful. It's called "Awful Beautiful Life". Here's a few lines from the song:

We said a prayer for Cousin Michael in Iraq
We're all aware that he may never make it back
We talked about the way we missed his stupid jokes
And how he loved to be a soldier more than most

I laid in bed that night and thought about the day
And how my life is like a roller coaster ride
The ups and downs and crazy turns along the way
It'll throw you off if you don't hold on tight

You can't really smile until you've shed some tears
I could die today or I might live on for years

I love this crazy, tragic,
Sometimes almost magic,
Awful, beautiful life.



Rick

[ctozrn]

Ain't that the truth!

My partner didn't move out again. We gave it a try for another month and then it was evident that thigs were definitely not going to work. She moved out today. I am relieved but overwhelmed. Can't eat, I did get my MD to give me something for sleep and that has helped. Just trying to put one foot in front of the other. My daughter gives me strength!

Christine

[tdogg]

Sheesh Christine, you have a lot of crap going on. Take care of yourself, don't let yourself get too worn down. Try to eat right. Get a massage, drink some tea. Sometimes when we remember to care for our body, our heart heals a little faster. :pray::love:

I hope things get better for you soon.

[Jennifer5]

I'm so sorry! I can't even imagine how stressful this must all be!

Stay strong, but don't be afraid of the tears. We love you! :love:

[tymejumper]

Oh! How terrible. There is not to many other things that are a stressful as having a breakup and your child getting into major trouble.

You have to stay strong, and find someone to talk to, help you get through this one day at a time. They can do wonderful things in Rehab. People said my wife would never get clean, and would fail to stay clean....she started drugging and drinking at 11. It's been 6 clean years. We are praying for you and your family. Your daughter also, it has to be tough on her. Take time to take care of the BOTH of you, as much as you can. As for the breakup, I am sorry about that too. It always seems to happen in droves. You are saying goodbye to part of your past and trying to find the future. If you need to chat, feel free to PM me and I'll be happy to listen.

Hang in there,
Rebekah:pray:

[Zerbie]

Omigoodness, that's overwhelming!!

No magic words: just keep looking at the glimmer of hope, feed yourself well (if you have to make yourself eat something healthy even tho you aren't hungry, do it, at least a small nibble,) and find something, anything, to do that you enjoy.

[ctozrn]

Thanks for all the wonderful support everybody. I am starting to come out of the darkness. The house is empty today. She finished moving out yesterday and since I got rid of a lot of my stuff when she moved in...the house is very bare! But I have a warm bed, I own my home, I have a car, food to eat, a table, couches, the TV is on the floor with the lamps but it is ok! They are only THINGS! Things that can be replaced. I have decided to paint the living room and dining room. I am looking forward to taking this blank slate and making it mine. We had very different decorating styles and I am looking forward to creating my space.

As for the kids, they are ok. My son is doing the outpatient program and is hanging with all the kids in recovery there. They are a great bunch of kids. We will see. It is up to him. We have to go to the parent support twice a week. It has helped me so much to not feel like a failure. To see a bunch of other people in the same place you are or beyond has given me lots of hope. I am trying to dote on my daughter who is such a great kid and seems to not be getting very much attention since she is a good kid! I am trying to spend more time with her and show her how special she is.

Last night I went out with friends for dinner and it was just what I needed! Let me tell you....blood orange martinis have a way of making you feel much better about life! And I only had one! Go figure! It was great friends and great conversation, girls night out. It was very healing.

Thanks everyone!

[Rick336]

Christine,

It's great to hear you got out and had fun with the girls. I pictured a "Sex in the City" scene with a group of girls around a table in a restaurant joking and having fun.

I hope your son sticks with the recovery program.

Rick

[pnggrad79]

Chris,
Girl, after this rollercoaster ride of a relationship, I hope you take time to heal and find love again. You are beautiful and have so much love to give and I know that it will come back around to bless you. Paint away, girlfriend, and put some color and spark back into your home. Go buy some new furniture and create a place that is all you. Good luck to you and my prayers are with you that the hurt this time is not as bad. We love you here and want the best for you.

Much love to you!:love::love::love::love::love:

[ctozrn]

It was a little like Sex in the City with three femmes and one very butch girl! Haha....Sex in the City with a twist!!

[Petrese]

So sorry to hear of your troubles. I also had a lot of depression after my own breakup and with a son being crazy and a daughter being more of an angel I can understand some of what you are going through. Something you said I found to be so true in my own past experience. The part about now being single and you will be free to finally do what you want to. Yes this will bouy you up. And although it seems surface to say, it does get better. You will find a whole new experience and revel in your new found freedom Christine. Also, you sound like a good mother to be there for your kids and your son right now in particular. Your efforts will eventually pay off. Sons in their late teens can turn out real good, my own son went from suicide attempts, drugs and rehab to getting a masters in psychology. But I'm pretty sure my hair is grey under the blonde highlights from those years of anxiety over my kids teen years. Just stick with it honey, you will prevail!

[BruceChris]

((((((((( Christine ))))))))) Hugs

You've got a lot of people here who care about you, and we want to see your life getting better. Come back and post, and keep in touch. :love: . :love: . :love:

Peace and Love, Bruce Chris