gender and sexual development

[Daniel.John.Smith]

I am hoping to motivate others - particularly Christians, gay or not - to concern that contention and defensiveness over gay rights and lifestyle choice are leading to the neglect of prevention of developmental challenges stemming from child-parent attachment problems that seem to lead to gender identity and sexual identity confusion.

Blessings,
Daniel J. Smith M.A.

[Petrese]

It's too bad that all the medical and scientific knowledge and discovery regarding sex, gender and orientation is not accepted for the fact that it is and people still regard their own bias and ignorance as what is fact. All three are predisposed prior to birth and not a choice or stemming from child-parent attachment problems. But some of these parents are still confused to what is fact and create confusion in their gay or transgendered children by creating a very forced environment where the child cannot live as who he or she actually is but as the parent wishes. Unfortunately there are enough so called medical experts with their own misplaced motives to add to the confusion and this just adds fuel to the fire. The parent, un wittingly creates all kinds of behavioral issues including: rebellion, dissasociation, suicidal tendencies, depression and eventually, if the child survives into adulthood, abandonment because that gay or transgendered person finally can live as they truely are and will likely resent the parents for all of the uncalled for hell they were put through as kids.

I think thats what your saying right? LOL, I actually know what your trying to say here hon.

[Daniel.John.Smith]

Hello Patrese,

Thank you for your comments. You mentioned prenatal developmental issues. I'm glad you are aware of that. I am aware that there are hormonal issues in fetal development that, in my understanding, at least seem to lead to life long dispositions towards aggression or passivity in mamals. Still, that does not amount to sexual object choice and I think that there seems to be an unwillingness on the part of so many to look at the post-natal developmental issues and experiences (or lack of) that wound people in thier families and create gender confusion or lack of loving and secure identification with the same sex parent.

Thank you!
Daniel John Smith

[Petrese]

I didn't mention 'prenatal developmental issues'. I said that ones sex, gender and orientation are predisposed prior to birth. Maybe my use of the term 'predisposed' is confusing. I mean each of the three are pre determined naturally before birth, a perfectly normal process. By using the term 'issue' it sounds, to me at least, that your saying there is something abnormal about what happens. I would avoid using the word 'issue' in this context for that reason. There are all sorts of things that shape a person.

But you speak primarilly about gender here and post natal so lets look at me for a moment. I grew up in a very normal Christian home with caring parents and two brothers and a sister. We were all raised equally well by our parents. But I knew as far back as I can remember, around the time I started comprehending things, that I was a girl, even though my sex was male. I was the only one who turned out transsexual. And after years of scouring every single thing I could find as to why I was this way I became a relative expert on me. Thank God for all of the exhaustive medical and scientific research and work on this subject over the years, both pre and post natally in this country, Canada, The UK and elsewhere. You may want to do a search on this yourself, this research you are concerned about has been done. After about 40 years worth of investigation and study I finally learned I was normal and have been happy ever since. You may draw a different conclusion than that you currently hold once you have reviewed the research and scientific discovery that is out there.

Also refer to the first part of the old testament and see if you can find where it says that people who exibit traits of both sexes will be first to enherit the kingdom of heaven, does that mean I get to move to the front of the line ahead of you? :) Actually there is something that still causes me unhappiness. That is the total lack of compassion and understanding that so many that claim to be Christian show to those who are transsexual. Through these peoples misunderstanding, fear and hatered an entire group of people are looked down upon and de humanized. The transsexuals themselves, possibly the only ones who truely understand the whys, are not listened to and learned from. Rather they are preached to about things that they know have absolutely nothing to do with why they are transsexual, like: child-parent attachment problems for instance. It is no wonder why so many leave the church, their faith and Christ. And all because these so called Christians through their actions, make Christianity look rediculous, not real, and drive people from Christ. Christians are supposed to embrace Christ's teachings and show love and respect to one another, not drive people away.

[keltic63]

Daniel.John.Smith,

it sounds like you're saying that you believe homosexuality to be a choice brought on by traumatic experiences within the family. What would be your goal by making this proposition here?

[Matt Algren]

I am hoping to motivate others - particularly Christians, gay or not - to concern that contention and defensiveness over gay rights and lifestyle choice are leading to the neglect of prevention of developmental challenges stemming from child-parent attachment problems that seem to lead to gender identity and sexual identity confusion.

Blessings,
Daniel J. Smith M.A.
With respect, if I'm reading that correctly, you seem to be of the James Dobson school of thought that presents homosexuality as a preventable treatable illness brought on in part by a limited relationship with the same-gender parent. And that since it's an illness, parents should take steps to 'cut it off at the pass', as it were.

Am I misunderstanding you?

XOXOXO,
Matthew D. Algren C.S.

[Alecto]

I would LOVE to see Christians, gay and straight, address the fact that everyone wants to talk about their opinions of us without taking much time to talk TO us. Why is my experience even up for debate?

[tymejumper]

I guess I am not understanding here what you are asking or getting at. Are you asking for information? Or wanting to discuss what we think turned us gay? Or just trying to start a conversation? Please be a bit more specific.

[Petrese]

Exactly Alecto, and the intent of my statement to him/her: "The transsexuals themselves, possibly the only ones who truly understand the whys, are not listened to and learned from. Rather they are preached to about things that they know have absolutely nothing to do with why they are transsexual". Simply substitute 'gay' or 'lesbian' for transsexual and the meaning is pretty much the same. This is the most frustrating thing for me that the people who know the least also listen and learn the least.

But lets cut the crap and address the initial post for what it is, a simple minded veiled attempt for davidjohnsmith or what eva his name is to impose a statement of: Gays/trannys are sick because of issues growing up and if people weren't wasting time trying to normalize a taboo lifestyle then that energy could be directed to catch it early enough so it can be corrected so these people will be normal and then the problem of glbt be there in the first place. LOL to that!

Never mind the immense amount of study on this very subject over the past 100 years that shows his belief about a 'sickness/lifestyle choice' as total bullshit. Maybe if davidjohnsmith and those like him would have done their homework they wouldn't be making statements of hate and measure 8 would have neva been dreamed up in the first place.

[keltic63]

but don't hold back Petrese, tell us how you really feel :lol:


Your Honor, daniel.john.smith is leading the witness. I object!

[Daniel]

Simply substitute 'gay' or 'lesbian' for transsexual and the meaning is pretty much the same. This is the most frustrating thing for me that the people who know the least also listen and learn the least.

Every word you have written is a gem in a perfect setting.

As are you.

[Petrese]

Thankx, I guess all that built up post tramatic road rage from when I lived in NYC is good for something lol

[scott snedeker]

In Buddhist teaching, the pupose is not to serve or please or patronize a God or a concept of a god or another being.

It is the true heart's release from the misery created by attachments. These attachments are unwanted feelings to what simply is.

Some folk have capacity for same gender intimacy. It is something that simply is. Intimate love shared by two with this capacity creates beauty.

The genuine appreciation of this beauty is possible when one is free from attachments of sanctimonious or "scientific" nihilism.

--And the world of those without sanctimonious or "scientific" nihilism is made more rich and beautiful. In ancient Indian, those with this capacity are called "trtiya prakti" or third natue the beauty of which are part of Zen as well as other forms in Buddhism.

--But the world of those with the attachment of sanctimonious or "scientific" nihilism becomes that much more hellish.

Awareness of what is, constitutes a preliminary step to releasing your heart from the attachments that trap and torture it. Recognizing the attachment of sanctimomious or "scientific" nihilism is the first step to releasing your attachment to it. These attachments occur because of ignorance, greed, confusion or a personal sense of inadequacy.

A large number (and probably the majority) of the most staunch supporters of nihilism toward same-gender intimacy are themselves attracted to the same gender.

The attraction is not the problem. It simply is. The problem only gains existence when the individual develops self loathing to this petal of the lotus that is his/her being.

Om mani padme hum

The jewel is in the lotus or the head and heart are one.

[BruceChris]

Your meaning would seem to be perfectly obvious. All children need a same sex parent to identify with, or they become gay or transsexual, Now about 25% of our children are raised in single parent households, and almost all of these households are female headed, without a man present,

Therefore, 25% of all male children will grow up to be gay or trans, while almost none of our girl children will do so.

I assume that you have the statistics to back this up.

Or as Daniel said, "It doesn't get any better than this!"

BC

[Alecto]

So....think he just threw a flame-grenade and left?
I'll grant the possibility that we're all just misunderstanding him, but we'll never know if he's just gone.

[keltic63]

So....think he just threw a flame-grenade and left?
I'll grant the possibility that we're all just misunderstanding him, but we'll never know if he's just gone.

hasn't been here since he posted almost 48 hours ago

[Matt Algren]

hasn't been here since he posted almost 48 hours ago
What a [Bad word that people don't like. No, the other one.].

[Petrese]

What a [Bad word that people don't like. No, the other one.].

LOL, yeah ;)

Well considering he joined, posted this a couple minutes later and hasn't been back; and under a john smith, opps I mean daniel john , wait... what was his handle again? LOL :lol: