Heated Debate

[christa08]

I had a heated debate about the rights of LGBT people with the last person I ever thought I'd argue with like that...my mother.

I love my mother...she and I have grown very close ever since I graduated high school and we never argue. However, the other night...she was talking about her financial issues (she lives in California) and this and that and somehow (I really have no idea how...) she mentioned that gays were taking away her rights. She just threw it in the conversation along with her car troubles and expensive haircut like it was nothing. So I stopped her and asked "what rights are they taking away from you??" She quickly dodged the question and said something about how Christians aren't allowed to pray in school etc etc. And I said "that's not because of gay people...what are they taking way from you?" Still no answer. We both started getting a little heated and I was very surprised because we've never spoken to each other in that manner. We weren't yelling or anything but I guess this was the first time I actually questioned her on something instead of just brushing it off as one of her crazy opinions. She mentioned how the bible says this and that about homosexuality and I mentioned how it also says you can't eat shellfish and you can stone your children and all of that. She changed the subject of course. She said "well my hair dresser Freddy is gay and I don't judge him. I just don't agree with his lifestyle. He's my friend though." and I said "Don't you want a good life for your friend? If he fell in love and wanted to get married and be happy...you wouldn't want that for him?" She said "I want him to live his life right and he'll be happy." At that point I knew there was no changing her mind. She's set in her ways and it's fine...and I told her that it's fine if she doesn't think it's ok to be gay as long as she understood that the constitution says that all men are equal and we all have the same rights. She said that gays were forcing us all to think that it's ok to be gay. She also said that gays want the same rights so that they can sue companies for not hiring them because they're gay, etc. I was so angry! But I knew that I was wasting my breath after an hour of debate. But I was proud of myself for debating because I had never done that before.

I'm not posting this to bash my mother...I just needed to vent it out a little and share.

-Christa :love:

[sauu4equality]

I've definitely been there. Growing up straight (I've always been bi, but I assumed everyone was bi until I was around 20), I was the black sheep in the family. I supported Gay Rights, President Clinton and other "evils". But at some point you have to make your own decisions. And it is sometimes necessary to attempt to educate our family members about things. And if these types of conversations make you uncomfortable (this comes out of your love and respect for your mother), try to steer the conversations to things that you both like. Then you can focus on enjoying your time together. Tell her you are there to listen, but that you cannot listen to hateful comments about gay people. Then she can still come to you when she needs a sound board, but she will learn not to go to that angry bitter place that makes her need someone to blame for her problems. Try that. It's not easy. It takes time.

And, just as a sidenote, prayer in school is not illegal (http://www.freedomforum.org/templates/document.asp?documentID=15216).

[tymejumper]

Sorry your mom was like that. It's hard to relate to them when your an adult sometimes. I think many of us have been through that, I have with my grandmother and father, even my brother. None of them would come to my commitment ceramony, my grandmother because she 'didn't approve", and would not "come if I married a black man either" hmmmm, how are you going to argue with a 90 year old woman about her bigotry? She's set in her ways. My father didn't want to "see me with a woman" I should have said the same thing my 9 year old said when I told her that I didn't want to see her jumping on the couch(she was 5 or so at the time) "well, don't look then!". He is 60ish so that will probably not change much there either. My brother said "I have to protect my daughter from your lifestyle" Talk about ignorant. I told him that I had to protect my children from right winged, homophobic bigots like him so don't bother to call me anytime soon unless he was goign to apologize. I refuse to go to any family get togethers unless they invite my wife, which they will not so I told them the could do without me and my children.:mad:

I guess I would wonder why your mother is so eager to USE a gay persons services. She does not approve of him, and does not apparently feel that he deserves any rights, so maybe she would be happier with a straight stylist?

[Petrese]

well, be thankful she talks to you about it, and you may actually get her to see your point of veiw at some point. Try dealing with a family who won't ever communicate with you again because they think you live in sin. My parents are gone but I would like to believe that they would have more sense than my brother and sister who have totally disowned me.....but you know what, 'they still really love me and pray for me all the time' gee...thanks bro and sis, that really helps! LOL to that