Note to Christmas Haters - Give it a rest!!

[Rick336]

What’s up with Christmas haters? They’ve always been a mystery to me. I mean, seriously. Look at what this dude says:

"I hate shopping malls in general, but at Christmas time they could conceivably be used as one of Condoleezza's torture camps for Al Qaeda operatives."

Is he serious? So basically, people buying gifts and children sitting on Santa's lap and Christmas music playing and everybody in good mood......that's torture?

Then he goes on to say:

"I hate being forced to associate with people I have nothing in common with and, for the most part, hate with a passion. The strange custom of spending time with family at Christmas must have been created by masochists. Normally I try to avoid the annual family get together, but every few years one is forced to submit themselves to this version of the Chinese Water Torture."

Anybody who hates their friends and family this much either needs a hug ….or some professional counseling.

He says more…

"Only the young kids seem to enjoy the day, and they make sure that you can't even have peace and quiet by escaping to an uninhabited corner of whoever's house it is whose turn it is to host this awful, unholy celebration. Their raucous squealing and screaming and general hyperactivity ensure that your nerves stay nicely close to breaking point."

Wow. I suspect that the real problem here is that the kids are happy and he’s not.

He says....

"I hate gift giving. It's a stupid transaction in which you always lose. As the family opens their gifts, each is silently evaluating whether your gift to them is worth less than their gift to you."

I will admit that there are some people that do evaluate the cost of the gifts they receive. When some people say, "I had a good Christmas," what they mean is that they got a lot of nice gifts. Get a clue. The presents are great but it aint about the presents.

Then he says….

"I hate Christmas cards. They are the biggest waste of money and natural resources ever invented by humans. How many survive after New Year's Eve? The most annoying people however, persist to thrust their unwanted, vile little pieces of cardboard at me year after year, making me feel more pathetic each time, until I drown in self loathing."

I think this dude has finally hit the nail on the head when he says that he's "drowning in self loathing." Seriously, how can a Christmas card saying, "Peace on Earth" or “Wishing you a wonderful Christmas” be a vile thing? Vile?

He says this about Santa Claus....

"What is the point of Santa Claus anyway? Is he a substitute for Jesus? Or is he just an excellent marketing tool for retailers? Whatever the case, if a big fat man tried to enter most peoples' houses in the middle of the night, half the population would blow him away with the shot gun they keep stashed under the bed for such purposes."

The point of Santa Clause is the joy and excitement of kids.



http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3248/3092236930_83597bdde8.jpg?v=0
This is a photo of me and Santa Claus at Sears in 1957. I was
6 years old then. I was so excited about Christmas when I was
a kid. I loved it all.

Still do.

To me, Christmas is about happiness and love and family and friends. It’s about great food and beautiful music and holiday movies with happy endings. It’s about charity and forgiveness and gratitude.

Christmas is also about taking a break from all the stress and problems in the world. Just like the lyrics from the song, Carol of the Bells:

Hark how the bells,
sweet silver bells,
all seem to say,
throw cares away


Or this one…

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light
From now on,
our troubles will be out of sight.


And this one from John Lennon…..

And so this is Christmas
For weak and for strong
For rich and the poor ones
The world is so wrong

And so Happy Christmas
For black and for white
For yellow and red ones
Let's stop all the fight


And this verse from the carol, “It Came Upon a Midnight Clear”…..

And ye, beneath life's crushing load,
Whose forms are bending low,
Who toil along the climbing way
With painful steps and slow,
Look now! for glad and golden hours
come swiftly on the wing.
O rest beside the weary road,
And hear the angels sing!



So my advice to all you Christmas haters is, stop fighting it. For a few days, at least, try to forget all the bad stuff in the world and focus on the kindness of humanity. Stifle your resentment long enough to allow yourself to enjoy the laughter of a child or the beauty of a winter day or a sweet memory from the past.

And if you're alone, do something good for yourself. Buy yourself something. Get yourself a good bottle of wine and rent a good DVD. Make yourself a good meal. String some lights around a window. Sit in front of the fireplace with a good book and some good music. Do something for you. Find some peace of mind. You deserve it.

Throw cares away. Let your heart be light. Chill out.

Peace

Rick


http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3246/3092307416_f2ae756125.jpg?v=0
My house, December 2008

[christa08]

I feel very sorry for whoever wrote those things. He is probably very lonely and obviously a very unhappy bitter person who, for some reason, thinks he is above people who have fun at Christmas. I hope he finds some sort of happiness this Christmas (although that doesn't seem too probable.)

I liked what you said about doing something for yourself. This year instead of buying gifts for each other, my husband and I bought ourselves a big flat screen TV. Merry Christmas to us! :p

Great post, Rick :)

[Alecto]

There is a higher level of depression this time of year. For starters, the weather affects everyone's mood, and people who are more sensitive to mood shifts probably have it worse. It's also a good time of year to remind lonely people that they're lonely, whatever that means for them. Might be the psych major in me, but I see a host of problems that can be solved and not just angry bitter people to criticize or patronize.

That said, the music does get to me. If it were only a few days, I'd probably actually feel festive about it, but when it's inescapable for a month (or MORE), and it's the same music every year...it gets old quick.
"For a few days, at least, try to forget all the bad stuff in the world and focus on the kindness of humanity. Stifle your resentment long enough to allow yourself to enjoy the laughter of a child or the beauty of a winter day or a sweet memory from the past." A few days is about all I can handle, y'know?
That said, pretty much everything else about the holiday, I'm usually able to appreciate and enjoy.

[FoxInSox]

I LOVE Christmas, but I *totally* get this guy.

I mean, I would attack someone sneaking into my house in the dead of night. I've worked in retail, and holiday shoppers aren't, as a whole, a chipper, friendly group. I've had Christmases where visiting with my family was very painful. Christmas cards DO kill trees and remind me that I never did send mine. And the music!

So, I read this with some cheeky, adolescent appreciation. There are definitely some odd, ironic traditions.

I must admit, I love the racous squealing of thrilled children. That's probably why I'm a teacher and play therapist, lol.

Still, I love it! I love the lights, I love that its cold (sort of...it's Texas), I LOVE buying, preparing, and wrapping presents, I love the special food....

[Matt Algren]

Sorry, I freaking hate Christmas. Now that the extended family doesn't do anything on the 25th, it has become a depressing day when all the stores are closed and I can't even buy a loaf of bread, on top of which it's cold and dark and there's nothing good on TV. Then on the 26th I get to hear the breeders talk about how great their Christmases were and how cute their kids are and hey look at these pictures aren't they darling?!?

Hate is not a strong enough word.

[Daniel]

Your house looks beautiful!

Christmas here in NYC has meant, for me at least, singing a Christmas Eve Service. I won't be doing that this year for the second year in a row, after a 20 year stint. May go somewhere though, and take it all in from the pew. I love the hymns, the excitement, and the sense of magic that can be present. A sense that, in the darkest time of the year, there is Love and Light.

Our little NYC apartment doesn't have room for a tree, but I usually put garland on the chimney (nice to have that!). And this year, after finding some branches on the street, I spray painted them gold (very cheap!), arranged them in an old brass pot and put them on the piano. They may, or may not, get decorated with ornaments. A little bit of outside inside. Getting closer to what is. Nature. The cycle of life. That's what I think this time of year is all about. And that included family, food and fun.

Can it be a challenging time?

Hell yeah!

Can be very stressful. One can feel the absence of things very acutely. The whole 'family' thing can kick in big time. But the older I get, the more I believe that this is Life's way of getting us used to what is. Family, I believe, is what we make of it. And isn't that what gay folks know about alot? Being 'homeless' themselves? We often resort to making our own families, don't we?

Life comes with loss. Live long enough and you see that. Now one gets out alive. So- what does one do?

Savor the day. As much as one can. Generate some warmth from the heart towards ourself and others.

[BruceChris]

Around here, all of the convenience stores are owned by Islamic Arab immigrants, who don't take Christmas off.

Trying not to be a Grinch, Bruce Chris

[Matt Algren]

Around here, all of the convenience stores are owned by Islamic Arab immigrants, who don't take Christmas off.

Trying not to be a Grinch, Bruce Chris
sniff

God bless the A-Rabs.

[Jester25]

Matt, I'm so sorry your christmas sucks... I mean, I suppose I'd hate it too, if nobody did anything for me on the 25th. Have you ever considered planning a christmas party for your relatives? You don't even need to make it all that christmassy. Rent some real, good movies and get a few small gifts to give, have the guests bring dishes to pass, that kind of thing.

As for what I think of christmas... I'm mixed. I'm very introverted and love alone time, I hate snow unless I'm watching it drift down on a snow day, and most christmas music in general annoys me unless it's the Ukrainian Bell carol, Greensleeves, or something by Mannheim Steamroller or Trans-Siberian Orchestra. It's especially annoying when it begins to play on the radio *far* too early. 'Jingle Bells' on Halloween Night? Um, no, please. On the other hand, the time off is great, and getting presents is pretty sweet. Therefore, I tolerate christmas. My favorite holiday, though? Halloween. XD

[Alecto]

Did I hear a motion to declare Dec. 25th as Halloween Jr? Seconded!

[tdogg]

Commercialism aside (and this year it will be as it's a mean and lean year), I like Christmas. There are things about this time of year that I don't like - gearing up for Christmas before Thanksgiving, all the commercials and newspaper ads and mailer ads, the greedy people, everyone asking for money and needing it and I have nothing extra to give, the family members I won't be able to see (including those who don't want to see me), having to be at work before and after because all the other bosses are off, and the list could go on.

But there are so many things I love about it. The coldness and the fireplace, the family and friends I will see (and who are glad to see me too), the bareness of the office and friendship of those who will be there, my pets getting so excited about opening their Christmas treat :D, our beautiful Christmas tree with every ornament a unique reflection of our joint lives, and of course the list could go on (let's include a few special Christmas songs that I just LOVE to hear and sing).

I'll choose to savor the moments that I love and try not to dwell on the others. Meanwhile, I've gifted myself some therapy to deal with all of the negative. And I'll come here and see all of you, my SF friends as much as possible.

[tymejumper]

Christmas itself is pretty stressful. We dont have tons of money this year, with Ellie being in automotive and the unrest there.(which I wont even get into ecuase it in itself is way to depressing....)I did take Jester with me for black Friday and we got some pretty good deals. We are making some homemade candies and cookies. We are also putting together some nice small baskets. I LOVE to give gifts to others, and see their faces light up and my kids get excited......(YES, Matt, I am a breeder and my kids look SO DARN CUTE:lol::lol::lol::lol:)

I love to hear all the bells and see the snow. I love to hear about others being kind, to bad it's not all year long. You hear very nice stories around now. I really am not looking forward to the family parties, except for my wives family. They are pretty cool, and I have been shooed into the family when the matriarcal grandmother stated "I am glad someone is loving Ellie enough to put some meat on her bones...". My family is a bit different though. My father and brother and grandmother boycotted my wedding. So who knows how THAT will go this year!

[tdogg]

My family is a bit different though. My father and brother and grandmother boycotted my wedding. So who knows how THAT will go this year!

Me too! My stepmother and one of my sisters (includes my dad and sister's entire family) failed to come or even acknowledge my wedding. I do know how that will go. I'll get a card and $20 gift card to somewhere from my stepmother (and dad but he's disabled and doesn't have full mental capacity so I blame it all on her!), and I'll get a 'picture' Christmas card of my niece and nephew I haven't seen in 3 years along with probably some type of Christian book from my sister. I'll get nothing from a couple other family members but I prefer not to receive anything from them as their words are hateful.

So, I'm thinking of sending my sister a copy of Straight Parents, Gay Children along with the Newsweek article from another thread, and a long letter telling her exactly how I feel about how I've been treated and about being gay and being married.

[nmwolfboy]

At times, when cynicism (temporarily!) gained an upper hand, the Winter holidays have been an annoying, depressing, painful time of year for me. Yet i actually love Christmas, :weee: especially since stressing over holiday details has become less of an annual habit. ;)

i usually like to take a long evening walk on Christmas eve. i guess it's one of my own traditions. When i lived back east, where there was often snow on the ground, it was a wonderfully peaceful & beautiful stroll. Here in New Mexico it's a desert night, with a star-filled sable sky. Wind in the cottonwoods. Nice.

The past few years Wes & i have spent Christmas in Los Angeles with his elderly mother. She's an interesting lady who's a lot of fun, but i must confess to a yen for spending the holiday here at our home in New Mexico. Still, in LA i get to see the ocean & also visit my favorite tea shoppe! :)

Has anyone ever attended a "Blue Christmas" liturgy (http://www.episcopalcafe.com/daily/church_year/blue_christmas_1.php)? With my pagan blood, such a seasonal acknowledgment of grief & endings has a lot of appeal. :agree:

[christa08]

I'll get nothing from a couple other family members but I prefer not to receive anything from them as their words are hateful.


Sadly, sometimes, family members are not worthy of being family. I hope their hearts will be open when you send your reading materials to them. :pray:

[Unmasked]

I never much cared for Christmas after my mom's second marriage. Being around family has been the last thing on my mind since I was about twelve.

What I really do hate is the Church's loathing of Santa. It scares me. I like Santa. There is a sizable group of anti-Christmas Christians (who base most of their objection on the fact that Emperor Constantine stole the holiday from Pagans), they frighten me because although they know their history, they are severely anti-Catholic. They may be more anti-Catholic than anti-Pagan. The only reason I don't call them on their hypocrisy is the fact that the anti-Papal sentiment keeps them from lighting us up again.

Being a gay witch is not the safest thing in the world when you live in what 60% of the population is convinced is a Christian nation.

[Daniel]

Remember the song from Mame? Lucille Ball did the film in 1966, which was a musical version of the play that was made into a film in 1958. called Auntie Mame.

Lucy really can't sing, but what the heck, right? We need a little Christmas!

0PT-3SrIQgM

[Rick336]

Lucy really can't sing, but what the heck, right? We need a little Christmas!

Daniel,

I love it! That song really puts me in the spirit even though Lucy can't sing. Thanks for posting it. And you're right, we need a little Christmas. At least I do.

2008 has been a rough year. The stock market has lost 40% of it's value since January and along with it went my retirement. That's sucks!! And then the news from India last week reminded all of us that the nightmare of terrorism is still real. And now we're seeing the ugly face of political corruption from Illinois. And if all that wasn't bad enough, after their victories on November 4th, the religious right has promised to step up their campaign against LGBT equality all across America.

It all sucks! I'm ready to feel good about something. And just like always at the end of the year, here comes Christmas singing about happiness and peace and love and harmony saying, "Cheer up. The world isn't really so bad."

And Christmas is right.

It's just like in the movie "Scrooged" where Bill Murray says, "It’s the one time of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more. We are the people that we always hoped we would be."

Rick



http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3082/3101402033_b6def40a91.jpg?v=0
We need Christmas

[wmanion]

because where you find love, you find Christmas.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77Hg0GfsYoY

[Here2Learn22]

Wow. I feel quite sorry for whoever wrote all those things. He's completely missing the meaning of your special holiday. However, I can understand some of what he's trying to say. I don't celebrate Christmas. I'm Jewish. When somebody says merry Chistmas to me I simply take it as a kind gesture, but there are people out there who get angry at me that I say Happy Holidays or Happy Hannukah to people instead of merry Christmas. While this "Christmas Hater" seems to be a very bitter and anti-social person, other people's beliefs are being forced upon him, and I'm sure we all have experience with that. We may not agree with his beliefs, but he has a right to hate Christmas (though he's seriously messed up it's meaning).

[tymejumper]

One of my best friends was jewish that I grew up with. I went to Passover supper and also Haunaka celebrations. I tried to recite Hebrew and wash my hands as is custom, they all laughed at me when I made a mess of it!

We all celebrate in our own way, that is pretty ignorant that others would get mad if you wished them Happy Haunaka. I guess that you can't change peoples minds once they make them up always! So Happy Haunaka to you!

[Rick336]

A friend of mine that lives in Minneapolis is Jewish and he celebrates Chanukah. (He spells it with a "C"). His partner is Christian who celebrates Christmas. They have an adopted son and also a daughter who lives with them.

The whole family celebrates both holidays plus New Years. So basically all they do in December is exchange gifts, eat, and celebrate.

Sounds like fun. :)

Rick

[Here2Learn22]

Well thanks for the well wishes! Oh by the way you can spell it with a C or H. It doesn't really matter anyway.

[Rick336]

I drove around town tonight and looked at people's Christmas lights. They were gorgeous. I love how even straight rednecks want to make their house look gay. :lol:

I love this time of year. :)

Rick

[tdogg]

We are doing that tonight Rick. Getting together with another couple, having a Spaghetti Factory dinner and then driving around to see christmas lights. It should be a nice night, no rain! (Last time we did this, it poured :eek:) :love:

[Rick336]

They've come out with a new kind of Christmas lights called LED lights. There's a man down the street from me who has covered three twelve-foot evergreens in his front yard with these blue LED Christmas lights and it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. The other night I walked down to his house and stood in awe staring at his display.

Another house not far from me has a 60 foot hemlock covered in colored lights. It's an awesome sight for sure. I often wonder how he gets the lights to the top of that huge tree.

Last Tuesday night when I was outside plugging in my Christmas lights, a brass band from the Moravian church up the street came by and stood on the corner and played Christmas carols. It was a Norman Rockwell moment. :)

Rick

[tymejumper]

Ellie and I went and wrapped all the kids gifts Saturday night. It was our 'hot' date!:lol::lol:

We didnt have alot of money to spend, so they didn't get much. She works for the automotive industry, and they started layoffs. We are watching our bills very closely. Of course the kids know this and are a bit freaky about it. Will they have food? will they have a house?. Of course we can make it on my income alone but it will be tight.

We decided to talk to the kids more about what we can do to serve others and spread Christmas Spirit and Cheer and less about gifts/money. More about being grateful for what we have and seeing that we have each other. We started a gratitude box and we are going to volunteer at a soup kitchen next year, when our youngest is a bit older.

We also have put them in charge of finding free or cheap things to do around here. We are keeping our traditions and taking them to see the lights. When you focus on what is important, family and love, it really makes the hoiliday sweet. I think our original guy forgot about that, it's why he sounds so bitter.

[tdogg]

We saw one house, full of amazing lights all played to the music of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. It was truly amazing and of course, I did not bring my video camera!! We may possibly revisit that one Christmas eve.

[Rick336]

We decided to talk to the kids more about what we can do to serve others and spread Christmas Spirit and Cheer and less about gifts/money. More about being grateful for what we have and seeing that we have each other. We started a gratitude box and we are going to volunteer at a soup kitchen next year, when our youngest is a bit older.

We also have put them in charge of finding free or cheap things to do around here. We are keeping our traditions and taking them to see the lights. When you focus on what is important, family and love, it really makes the holiday sweet.

Wow. That sounds like a wonderful Christmas. :)

The old cliche that it's better to give than to receive is actually backed up by science. A study has found that the simple act of giving to others increases the serotonin in the brain. Serotonin is a brain chemical that effects mood. The more serotonin, the better the mood. In other words, giving to others boosts the Christmas spirit.

I love what Bill Murray says in the movie Scrooged about giving at Christmastime:

It’s Christmas. You can call people you haven’t seen. You can call a college roommate. You can call an old army buddy. You can call your personal banker. It’s the one time of the year when we all act a little nicer, we smile a little easier, we cheer a little more, we are the people that we always hoped we would be. It’s a miracle because it happens every Christmas. You have to take a chance, you have to get involved. There are people who are having trouble making it. There are people who don’t have enough to eat. There are people that are cold. You can go out and say hello to these people. You can take an old blanket out of the closet and say, “here.” You can make them a sandwich and say. “Oh, by the way, here. I get it now.”

If you give then the miracle can happen to you. It’s not just the poor and the hungry, it’s everybody. You got to have this miracle. If you believe in this spirit thing then the miracle can happen and you’ll want it to happen again tomorrow. You won’t be one of these bastards who says. “Christmas is once a year and it’s a fraud.” It’s not. It can happen every day. You just got to want that feeling. And if you like it and you want it, you’ll get greedy for it. It’s great. It’s a good feeling. It’s the best I’ve felt in a long time.”

Merry Christmas :)


Rick