Hi There! I'm Nicole

[hickchic15]

Well....I've recently (like this morning) started to come out to members of my family that won't be thrilled about my decision. My best friend and those I trust to support my decision to come out have known for awhile. I have to tell my mom and am terrified of doing so. She is going to be so disappointed in me and I'm going to get the fire and brimstone speach. I can't control her actions and choices, but I sure wish I could! Any advice would be appreciated!

I look forward to talking to you all.

Nicole

[Zerbie]

Well....I've recently (like this morning) started to come out to members of my family that won't be thrilled about my decision. My best friend and those I trust to support my decision to come out have known for awhile. I have to tell my mom and am terrified of doing so. She is going to be so disappointed in me and I'm going to get the fire and brimstone speach. I can't control her actions and choices, but I sure wish I could! Any advice would be appreciated!

I look forward to talking to you all.

Nicole

Welcome Nicole,

Are you sure you "have to" come out to your mom right now?
Do you live in her home? Are you under 18?
I'm asking all this to check that it's really safe for you to come out to her at this time. Please make sure you are in a safe environment before you take on a challenge like coming out to someone as close as a parent, especially if you expect a 'fire and brimstone speech.'

If you're all grown up and on your own, then it's different. You're right, you can't control her reaction. You can only control your timing in when you choose to come out.

All best wishes. You now have a place to come 'talk' with a like-minded group, if you want to come back and let us know how it goes.

[hickchic15]

I'm more than old enough, 32--married 2x, 2 beautiful children, and we live 2000 miles apart. I do however live with my grandma whom I told this morning. She's not happy, but said she still loved me. I asked her if she was going to kick me out when my mom told her to do it, and she told me I didn't have to tell my mom (out of concern for me or her I'm not sure). I'm safe, I'm strong, and I'm ready to take on the "consequences" of telling people. I have an excellent support system around me, and I am very strong-willed myself. It's just saying the words after so long and being married and having kids, ya know? I don't want to have to justify to anyone, but suppose there will be ALOT of questions from my close family members. I'm still married (but separated) working toward getting divorced. I have to explain to him daily and I don't know what to say except to ask him how he knew he was straight or attracted to women. He just looks at me blankly.....

[Zerbie]

Oh wow, that's quite a situation. Glad to hear you're all grown up. Time and distance always give perspective. You will speak to your mom when it seems like a 'right time' to do so.

Meanwhile, now is the time to reach out to your 3D friends and support network. They will be your lifeline during times of change.

So are the kids living with their great-grandma too?

[Gennee]

Welcome to the site, Nicole. Coming out to your mom is a huge step and I pray :pray: all goes well. You're right when you say that you can't control their responses. You need to think where you need to go and also of your two children.

This is a great site for support and information. So happy that you joined.

Gennee


:wave::love::love::pray:

[BruceChris]

Well, I was going to point out that at least your folks won't have to worry about grandkids, but I guess you're way ahead of me there. Some of the women couples in my church are raising kids, too.

It's awfully nice to have a support system, friends that you can talk to.

Science seems to be telling us that we are born with the preferences that we have. In other words, you are just the way that God made you. And you're not a stranger, you are the same person that they have always known. There's just some things that you have learned about yourself, that they will have to learn some time.

Choose your time and place carefully, and I do hope that your mother will come to accept you as you are.

Good luck, Bruce Chris

[hickchic15]

My boys 9 & 3 live there, too. Their dad is going back and forth about whether or not he's going to fight me on the custody issue. I'm not worried about losing my kids. This is something I've known since 4th grade, and I think I said that in my original post. I was always able to hide it or pretend it wasn't there. Maybe that's how I've gotten so good at the fake it til ya make it biz??!! What's happened is that I've been drawn to a close group of friends that are gay and have encouraged me through talks to just accept it. It's been a long long process for me to be able to do it, but finally I am able to talk about it and am slowly telling the people I KNOW will accept me and move on about their day.

I hate labels, always have. So I'm that's the part I'm struggling with. I just want to love who I love and not worry about what that "makes" me. I don't want to be put into a category...I've never really happily lived within any type of parameter. I don't even know what I'm trying to say here so I'm going to stop now.

Thank you guys for your support and responses. I want this time period to be over magically and just be out.

[Jennifer5]

Welcome Nicole! :wave:

It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, but you are making great progress. I hope that your mom will be able to realize in time, that you are the same daughter that you always were and that she will learn to accept you for who you are.

I hope that we will see more of you around the forums. :)

[BruceChris]

What, if anything, does it have to do with Nichole's intro posting? Should this have been a new thread? Should this have been posted in a different Forum?
Isn't this, in essence a hijacking of the thread?

PS, Welcome, Nichole.

BC

[keltic63]

What, if anything, does it have to do with Nichole's intro posting? Should this have been a new thread? Should this have been posted in a different Forum?
Isn't this, in essence a hijacking of the thread?

PS, Welcome, Nichole.

BC

not hijacking, BC, just a clever way to insert hyperlinks.... nothing but spam!