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stevejones
02-03-2009, 01:22 PM
The prayers for bobby movie touched me a lot, because I feel as bobby does. I feel like I am in a world that is empty and I am doomed to spend it alone for ever because I know how my family would take it. I told my best friend who is like my brother. And he tells me how sick and discusting it is to be this way and he doesnt treat me the same. Then his dad who is my pasor always talks about how sick homosexuality is even tho he does not know. It hurts me to hear these things because I have no one to talk to. I feel like I am alone and cant talk to anyone about how I truly feel. Why cant people just accept me for who I am? I dont want to be this way but I can not help it. I just dont know what to do anymore. I feel as if I am a waste of space on Gods earth. I have thought abut suicide but I couldnt do it and never will. I am just lost in a world with no one

Rick336
02-03-2009, 01:46 PM
You are not in a world with no one.

You've got plenty of people who care right here on this forum. And many of us have been in the exact same place that you're in now and have felt alone just as you do.

First of all, there's absolutely nothing to feel guilty about or ashamed of for having same sex attractions. Those feelings are completely normal for a segment of the population. It's completely natural for you to feel these things no matter what you've been told.

There are friendly people who you can talk to anonymously about what you're going through. Feel free to give them a call and talk with them. They are always there willing to listen and help. Their toll free phone number is:

Gay & Lesbian National Hotline
1-888-843-4564

But please remember that you are not a bad person for having those feelings. God does not hate you. You are a normal, decent person who just happens to have attractions for members of the same sex. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Please stay here with us and talk to us. We'd all love to have you be a part of our group. :)

Rick

Zerbie
02-03-2009, 01:53 PM
The prayers for bobby movie touched me a lot, because I feel as bobby does. I feel like I am in a world that is empty and I am doomed to spend it alone for ever because I know how my family would take it. I told my best friend who is like my brother. And he tells me how sick and discusting it is to be this way and he doesnt treat me the same. Then his dad who is my pasor always talks about how sick homosexuality is even tho he does not know. It hurts me to hear these things because I have no one to talk to. I feel like I am alone and cant talk to anyone about how I truly feel. Why cant people just accept me for who I am? I dont want to be this way but I can not help it. I just dont know what to do anymore. I feel as if I am a waste of space on Gods earth. I have thought abut suicide but I couldnt do it and never will. I am just lost in a world with no one

You are a part of God's creation. In that way, you are a small part of God, too. God wants you alive - that is why you continue to be given air to breathe. . . . You are wanted, and you are loved. I am sorry those close to you do not understand. Your feelings cannot change God's love for you.

You are in Andalusia? Is that not in Spain? I don't know if you can phone the American hotline # Rick posted. Please look for someone you can talk to in your area. Are there phone numbers, organizations that you can reach out to for help? I want you to find someone near to whom you can speak, and who will love you, not try to change you. Who will speak to you with love and hold you close until you feel strong.

True friends exist. Sometimes it takes a long time to find them. Please keep trying.

In the meantime, you have friends on this forum.

Welcome to SF, Steve.
:love:

Daniel
02-03-2009, 06:51 PM
Stevejones- I hope you will stick around. You are not alone even though you may feel like this way right now.

Your feelings for other guys are quite normal for a gay person. Nothing wrong with that. Religious conservatives may tell you otherwise, but a close study of the bible reveals something else. There are lots of resources on this site about this aspect.

Please don't give up on yourself!

Welcome to Soulforce.

Gregory_de_Bois
02-03-2009, 08:22 PM
Being gay is a gift. Remember that. We are given special insights into the way the world is, just as straight individuals are. God loves you before you do anything, not for what you have done, but because you are God's child.

Grace and Peace.

pianoplayer66
02-03-2009, 08:30 PM
Hi Steve!

Welcome to this site...you will find some of the most wonderful, loving support right here. I really feel for you since I'm married with 5 kids and can feel so very alone and desperate because I haven't been able to tell anyone but the people on this site.

There have been times that I have just opened my computer and read a bit of what people have written to me or to each other just to reaffirm in my mind and heart that I am NOT alone and that GOD has put many people around me to help me, guide me, and support me.

My parents (especially my mother) are very anti-gay and lately they have been preaching that the main reason our country is going downhill is because of the bad moral compass in our country...mostly due to gays and abortionists. It is REALLY hard to sit by and not fight and yet at least I feel for many reasons that I still can't fight.......someday soon I will!!!

So read, call, write, do whatever you need to and reach out as you have. There are more people out there to support you than you can immagine. You just may not be able to realize they are there until you reach out because of the dark pit you feel like you are in (at least that is the way I have felt).

Again, Welcome and you can always email me direct. Pianoplayer66@yahoo.com

Matt Algren
02-03-2009, 08:31 PM
Hi Steve. Based on your command of the English language I'm betting you're in the city in Alabama, not the region in Spain. Am I right? If you're in the US, another helpline is 1-866-4-U-TREVOR. You might also want to take a look at the website for The Trevor Project. You said that you've thought about suicide but couldn't do it; I've been where you are, and I'm worried about you. Suicide has a tendency to look more and more reasonable as time passes. If you don't want to call them today, will you at least write the phone number down and put it in your wallet just in case you need it later? In the meantime, please know that Jesus really does care about you. And it's not in spite of you being gay, but because you're gay. He made you to love and be attracted to men, and the last thing He wants is for you to try to "fix" His already perfect creation.

Jennifer5
02-03-2009, 09:37 PM
Welcome Steve!

You are not alone, you just signed on for a whole group of new friends. Stick around, you will find more love then you could imagine from this little online group. Don't give up, you have us now. :love: (((hugs)))

:wave: I will look forward to seeing more of you around here.

stevejones
02-04-2009, 01:05 PM
Thank you guys for you comments idk if you can add friends on here but send me private messages or something just in case i need someone to talk to..and I am from alabama

Gennee
02-05-2009, 07:36 PM
Hi Steve. Welcome to the site. You're not alone because we all have felt that way. God loves :love: you as you are and don't let anybody tell you otherwise. I will be praying for you, Steve. :pray:.

Gennee

:love::love::wave:

offog
02-09-2009, 08:38 PM
Hi Steve!

I almost cried when I read your post. I've had problems with depression since I was in elementary school, and I know what it's like to have absolutely no hope for the future. I've gone through plenty of spells where I felt suicidal.

I'm actually a straight woman, but I have some sense of what it's like to feel that you don't fit in anywhere, and can't be yourself, and have to hide who you are. It's pretty freakin' miserable. I'm a lifelong geek. I was a skinny nerdy kid with thick glasses and no social skills. I always felt that I couldn't show "the real me".

I hope that you find some people to talk to you at one of those hotlines. Participating in discussion forums might also hope to make you feel less alone. I know it helps me.

And don't feel like a freak. I've had a membership at my city's gay club for a couple of years, and I've found that the gay men there are among the nicest people I know. They are most definitely not "sick and disgusting". My favourite thing to do on a Saturday night is to talk politics over beer with the gay guys.

Best wishes!