Where you want to be in 5 years?

[Daniel]

Have you thought about it? I am. I'm 50 years old. And in 5 years I will be 55. A lot can happen in 5 years.

I recently read an article about writing one's goals down. Seems that those who write down them down are more likely to achieve them that those who don't. I did this years ago. And it now seems time to do it again.

I also just finished reading an interesting book with a quip-ish title: Talent is Overrated. The thesis, which is backed up by research, indicates that the hours of deliberate practice one puts into any given activity is what matters. Example: a world class violinist differs from a second-tier violinist because of the hours put into practice that is undertaken with a high degree of awareness. Timing is important too. The earlier one starts, the better.

So- I am thinking about how I want to use my time. The time I have left. Have some ideas. Have had them for a long time. Time to concretize them onto paper and create deliberate practice to achieve them.

So much for talent.


http://money.cnn.com/2008/10/21/magazines/fortune/talent_colvin.fortune/index.htm


A number of researchers now argue that talent means nothing like what we think it means, if indeed it means anything at all. A few contend that the very existence of talent is not, as they carefully put it, supported by evidence. In studies of accomplished individuals, researchers have found few signs of precocious achievement before the individuals started intensive training. Similar findings have turned up in studies of musicians, tennis players, artists, swimmers, mathematicians, and others.

Such findings do not prove that talent doesn't exist. But they do suggest an intriguing possibility: that if it does, it may be irrelevant.

[Rick336]

Daniel,

I have also read that the time put into the practice of an activity is time well spent. And that when personal goals are written down and reviewed daily that this increases the chances of the goals being achieved.

In five years my goal is to have my book finished. I've been working on a book about my gay rights days in Minnesota for some time now and hopefully it will be finished by 2014. But I know that writing a book takes a lot of discipline and "practice" which means I probably need to spend less time on the internet.

The book you mentioned, Talent is Overrated, seems like a book I could benefit from.

Rick

[Daniel]

In five years my goal is to have my book finished. I've been working on a book about my gay rights days in Minnesota for some time now and hopefully it will be finished by 2014. But I know that writing a book takes a lot of discipline and "practice" which means I probably need to spend less time on the internet.


Great minds think alike. I am working on a book too. Non-fiction. It's about my bag- singing- from a historical perspective. Lots of research went into it. That was the fun part. The hard part? The actual writing. Which brings to mind a saying heard in a writing class a few years ago (I made myself take 4 in a row): first drafts are shitty drafts! So true. Getting one's thoughts onto the page can be a trip!

I've made progress in fits and starts. So I'm working with a writing teacher to whom I have to be accountable. It's put some fire under my butt.

Deadlines. Deadlines. Deadlines.

Excruciating, but necessary.

I just hope the process is going better for you! :D


Memoir

1. An account of the personal experiences of an author.
2. An autobiography. Often used in the plural.
3. A biography or biographical sketch.
4. A report, especially on a scientific or scholarly topic.
5. memoirs The report of the proceedings of a learned society.

Sounds like you have a very interesting tale to tell. I think it's very important that your story be told. So much of gay liberation is known only to those who lived through it. And you are such a person. As such, I think it is very important that this knowledge not be lost to the sands of time.

Less time on the internet. I hear you on that! :rolleyes: ;)

[Jennifer5]

Is this a wish list or a realistic list?

Well, I suppose that that's a bad attitude, I need to make the wish list realistic. So, by 2014 here are some of the things I would like...

Well, I'll be almost 23.



Done or almost done with school, depending the degree I end up going after.
I would like to have traveled to at least a couple new places.
I'd like to have participated in at least one more Soulforce event.
I'd love to have an active roll in helping with local human rights (including using what I know about ASL, which I will have learned).
I want to continue to have a good relationship with my family.
I would love to keep a couple specific friends and not let the time and differences pull us apart.
I would love to have a least one BEST friend that I can share anything with.
I want to be living in an area where I am happy, although I don't have a specific place in mind.


It really is an interesting thing to think about, because a lot really can happen in 5 years. I'll still be just a kid though and still just figuring things out, it's nice to think about how much time I have.

[dsdrane]

(Damn you, Daniel.)

This post has me staring into the abyss.

I'm currently an architect. This sounds cool until you learn I'm unlicensed and have no desire to be so.

Oops!

Where do I go from here?

I don't quite care. And that's a blessing.

[Daniel]

Get specific!

Like where you'd like to live. What a good friend looks like. A degree that you'd like to have. The places you'd like to travel to.

It's not about making things perfect, but having the audaciousness to want. To acknowledge one's desires.

Desire is the fuel in the engine. No desire, no motion.

[Jennifer5]

Get specific!

Like where you'd like to live. What a good friend looks like. A degree that you'd like to have. The places you'd like to travel to.

It's not about making things perfect, but having the audaciousness to want. To acknowledge one's desires.

Desire is the fuel in the engine. No desire, no motion.

If you may be so bold? Do you know how grateful I am for this place, where I am told when I am not on the right track?

Some things need to be put in your face, so that you can address them the way that they need to be addressed.

I will come back in a few minutes, I will make this more specific!

You're right Daniel and I know it. I needed to be told that. :love:

[Daniel]

(Damn you, Daniel.)

This post has me staring into the abyss.

I'm currently an architect. This sounds cool until you learn I'm unlicensed and have no desire to be so.

Oops!

Where do I go from here?

I don't quite care. And that's a blessing.


Sounds like this is a rubic's cube that you are turning round and round.

So- to cut to the quick- how about making a plan to get licensed- if that is what you need and want? Oh...it's hell I am sure. But once you have it, you have it, even if you don't use it.

And if you really don't care, then you are free to dream large. Start something new.

Win win either way.

[Daniel]

If you may be so bold? Do you know how grateful I am for this place, where I am told when I am not on the right track?

Some things need to be put in your face, so that you can address them the way that they need to be addressed.

I will come back in a few minutes, I will make this more specific!

You're right Daniel and I know it. I needed to be told that. :love:

Don't please me. Please yourself.

Some of those things may take awhile to sort through. Can't rush a good thing, right?

[Matt Algren]

I'm always uncomfortable when people start talking about their plans for the future and where they want to be. I have an uncanny inability to envision a future for myself.

I'm sure there's some brilliant psychoanalyzing to be done about that, but I'm choosing to leave it alone.

[Jennifer5]

Don't please me. Please yourself.

Some of those things may take awhile to sort through. Can't rush a good thing, right?
You're right about being more specific though! There are some things that I cannot answer right now, but there are some that I can.


Done or almost done with school, depending the degree I end up going after. Right now, I think that means something in architecture or architectural design. There is a lot of research I need to do before I decide this though.
I would like to have traveled to at least a couple new places. I would like to travel the U.S., specifically places such as Mt. Rushmore, Lincoln Memorial, etc.
I'd like to have participated in at least one more Soulforce event.
I'd love to have an active roll in helping with local human rights (including using what I know about ASL, which I will have learned).I will in-fact take ASL classes as part of my college education. I would like to be part of the local Human Rights Network and help make it active once again. Or at least do my share as an individual to protect those I can.
I want to continue to have a good relationship with my family. I will remind myself in difficult situations to take a step back and think, to avoid getting into one of those messes that is hard to fix. With my family, this should be easy, but it's not a topic to dismiss.
I would love to keep a couple specific friends and not let the time and differences pull us apart. One family comes to mind, I want to make sure that I stay in contact with them. I need to be somewhat cautious about what I say to them, I do not want to burn bridges. Also, my "uncle", after he reappeared in my life after 3 years, I know that he will always love me, but I need to keep contact.
I would love to have a least one BEST friend that I can share anything with.This person would be someone whose shoulder I could always cry on, the kind of person that will pick up the phone in the middle of the night. Someone who act a roll of a partner or a sibling-like relationship. You can tell this person all of your secrets. Also, an important point is that the friendship goes both ways and I can also be there for him/her. This person I can trust fully.
I want to be living in an area where I am happy, although I don't have a specific place in mind. Day to day I change my mind about where I want to live. Lately, it has been here. However, I know that the specific location is not what will determine where I want to be, it's the people I love. I want to be living somewhere where I am surrounded my friends, not enemies and I realize that a lot of that is up to me. For a physical location, I think right now I would choose here or the bay area. After traveling a little, that may change though.

[Daniel]

You're right about being more specific though! There are some things that I cannot answer right now, but there are some that I can.

[LIST]
Done or almost done with school, depending the degree I end up going after. Right now, I think that means something in architecture or architectural design. There is a lot of research I need to do before I decide this though.

Maybe you two can yak a bit? And have you thought about interior design? That's one field I could see myself doing. Right now it's a hobby. I must have 75 books on the subject. And years and years collected of World of Interiors, the best mag on the subject. It's my one ever so guilty pleasure I give myself. Making things beautiful is part of life. It's also very gay!

Love your list Jen! Another way to approach things is to cut out pics and put them on a board. Everything you like, want in your life etc. Gets one to 'see' it.

Hey! I think I should take my own advice!

[Daniel]

I'm always uncomfortable when people start talking about their plans for the future and where they want to be. I have an uncanny inability to envision a future for myself.

I'm sure there's some brilliant psychoanalyzing to be done about that, but I'm choosing to leave it alone.

Can't see a future? Can't let yourself have - or admit to- a desire for something or someone?

One way of looking at the matter posits that, if one can't see or envision -that is- plan for a future- one will simply repeat the past.

How about this not so brilliant question?

Who's the person from your past who told you- by example or word- that you don't deserve it? That you shouldn't bother? That your crown is in heaven so why bother? Our people don't do that sort of thing etc etc.

I'm sure you can come up with something Matt. ;)

[Jennifer5]

Maybe you two can yak a bit? And have you thought about interior design? That's one field I could see myself doing. Right now it's a hobby. I must have 75 books on the subject. And years and years collected of World of Interiors, the best mag on the subject. It's my one every so guilty pleasure I give myself. Making things beautiful is part of life. It's also verygay!

Love your list Jen! Another way to approach things is to cut out pics and put them on a board. Everything you like, want in your life etc. Gets one to 'see' it.

Hey! I think I should take my own advice!

I actually PMed him just before this :lol:. Perhaps he can answer some questions for me.

I like interior design, but it's not where my interests really lie. I really want to be going more that is hands on, I am fascinated watching the contractor and all the stuff he can do... but that's not quite what I want either. I want to find a balance that allows me to be really involved in the onsite type of stuff, including design and even some of the physical work when needed. Is this a builder maybe? I just don't know.

Daniel, if you want to do interior design you should seriously think about that. I don't know if that's a good job for someone living in NY (or at there already too many of them?)... but around here, I think that people struggle to find a good designer.

I love the idea of cutting out pictures and just putting them up as reminders, I think I should try to do that.

[Gregory_de_Bois]

I want to be in Seminary at this point, or at least preparing for it. I haven't decided if I want to take a year off between college and seminary. If I pass college, then we'll see.:D I'm not too worried about that right now.

[Jennifer5]

I want to be in Seminary at this point, or at least preparing for it. I haven't decided if I want to take a year off between college and seminary. If I pass college, then we'll see.:D I'm not too worried about that right now.

You can do it! :love:

If the pastors here, were like the pastors everywhere, I might to go church.

The churches and communities need us. :love:
(I'm not trying to brag, this group just draws some incredibly unique people.)

[andrewlittle]

Dream big?

I want to be teaching. Teaching ethics and theology, economic and political theology, maybe even biblical Greek and Hebrew. I just want to teach.

I know it will have to be at a community or private college, but so what. It's my choice not to pursue a PhD at 54 - although I don't know whether it's a good choice.

Oh, screw it, I'm dreaming. I do want a f'ing PhD, and I kind of hate myself for it. It shouldn't mean anything. How can I pursue that when I already have $80,000 in student debt? Who cares, this is a dream, idiot.

There I said it. Out loud.

[christa08]

I had to really sit down and actually think about this one. I still don't feel like my list is complete either :rolleyes:

1. Still happily married. My husband and I will have been dating/married 10 years by then :eek:

2. I want to have traveled to NYC, Japan, and Greece by then. (I plan on traveling to a lot of places but those are my first choices.)

3. I'll hopefully have my bachelor's degree in Psychology and I'll probably be starting my road toward my doctorate.

4. I want to be living near my best friend (basically my sister.) I hate being away from her.

5. I hope that by then, I'll be a lot more religiously clear.

6. I want to participate in some sort of equality march.

7. I want to join a choir or find a way to sing and perform for fun.

I could think of a lot more but the list would go on and on. :p

Edit:

8. I want to be regularly donating to a charity helping underpriviledged children somewhere in the world.

[Daniel]

Dream big?

Oh, screw it, I'm dreaming. I do want a f'ing PhD, and I kind of hate myself for it. It shouldn't mean anything. How can I pursue that when I already have $80,000 in student debt? Who cares, this is a dream, idiot.


I like your dream. Have the same dream myself. It's a biggie. And it is harder- or so it seems- to get the get up and go to go back to school later in life even without the financial constraints.

Maybe it's these kind of dreams that, like a hundred dollar bill in one's pocket- burn into our brains- wanting- needing to be spent.

In my case, writing a book is my way of relieving some of the burn. It may not be a degree. But once it's finished, it will be on the shelf, a bundle of thoughts thicker than a diploma.

[Zerbie]

Dream big?

I want to be teaching. Teaching ethics and theology, economic and political theology, maybe even biblical Greek and Hebrew. I just want to teach.

I know it will have to be at a community or private college, but so what. It's my choice not to pursue a PhD at 54 - although I don't know whether it's a good choice.

Oh, screw it, I'm dreaming. I do want a f'ing PhD, and I kind of hate myself for it. It shouldn't mean anything. How can I pursue that when I already have $80,000 in student debt? Who cares, this is a dream, idiot.

There I said it. Out loud.

Andy, have you looked into graduate assistantships and scholarship money for 'non-traditional students'? A lot depends on Jenna, how she feels about you two doing this, since it would be financially tough. But if you can get paid to teach as a graduate student you could be teaching AS you pursue the doctorate, and if you can get scholarship $ that could help offset the cost of living expenses.

Otoh I don't believe teaching at community colleges is all that bad. Maybe it depends on where you are in your teaching and what the student body is like at the college. Before I went back for the doctorate I taught at a community college and it was a great opportunity for me as a 20-something to teach 'college level.' Now, I might be more frustrated by the lack of commitment from the students, if it parallels the situation at the previous place. Students not showing up, although they were majors. . . hmmm.

[KevinS]

Hey:

You are absolutely right that writing down your goals helps make them a reality. Just last month, I looked back to Jan 1, 2008 at what I had hoped to accomplish in that year. I wanted to come out to my family and friends; I wanted to leave my marriage of 17 years in a non-destructive manner; I wanted to find a loving partner. I rarely reviewed that list - it seemed like too much to hope for.

Looking back from Jan 1, 2009, I was amazed to realize that the impossible dream all happened. I left my marriage, but in a good way - we are keeping the house together and sharing custody of our 3 kids from there. All my family and friends know I am gay - some are supportive, some are not, whatever! And I met the most wonderful man, Blake, and we are planning to get married next summer or fall (it's so nice to be Canadian! :))

I also looked back a little further to 2007 - when I decided at 40 years old that my goal was to go back to school and do my MBA. Now, I am over half way through - doing it in part time in the evening. The best part is that I had no idea how I would afford it when I wrote down the goal - it was impossible. But my employer stepped to the plate and is paying 100% of it! Who knew??

Write your goals down no matter how impossible they seem. I don't know what it is, but somehow things start to align themselves when you have a focus.

Kevin.