03-06-2009, 02:55 PM
My name is Ken... I'm somewhat new to Soulforce. I am 42 years old and have lived the past 12 years out to my family, co-workes and most of my friends. I was brought up at Roman Catholic, and like many had a very difficult time accepting my sexuality. In my teens, I believed it was just a phase, something I would grow out of. Well, that didn't happen! I struggled throughout my twenties in the RC church and in my life; not facing the truth that I was in fact gay. I prayed almost daily that I would be rid of this same-sex attraction, crying myself to sleep many nights. I attempted marriage for one year in my mid-twenties; being the only male of four children the pressure was on to have grandchildren with the same last name. Now I look back and think how could I have lied to so many people for so many years because I had difficulty accepting the fact that I was gay. It took my fahters death when I was 30 years old to realize that I had lied to him for most of my life. I felt so much shame and regret for not coming out to him, not telling him the truth about myself. Shortly after his death I came out, my family was very supportive and received the news very well. For the last 5 years or so I have been attending an Episcopalian church in Cleveland, I truly feel much more accepted and "normal" and actully enjoy going to church. My partner and I have been together for 11 years and have adopted a "special needs" child 4 years ago. Life is good once I learned to live it and live it the way God intended for me to live it! I really look forward to being part of this wonderful group.