View Full Version : Hi My Name Is Jason
04-09-2009, 07:05 AM
Hi there my name is Jason. I recently read Dr White's book stranger at the gate and has opened my eyes and touched me deeply. I'm a Gay Christian living in corona CA or the Inland Empire. Lets see, umm I was in the closet for about seven years and came out last year.
I'm a veteran and ex navy. I was discharged due to a medical discharge because I was physically assaulted on my ship by four other crew members becuase of my sexual orientation. Needless to say it has been a dark road and darker still with my parents refusal to accept me as who I am despite them being christian.
Their conservative and very right wing so to speak. My father even tried to turn me strait by taking me to a campus crusades conference in San Diego. Just recentley I was diagnosed with PTSD by the VA and am now seeking treatment.
It's been a very rough road and sadly I've lost alot of my faith since I was assaulted. I find myself wondering how can god love me? Ive been told throughout my life that because of who I am I'm sick or wrong or a freak.
To be honest I'm even terrified to pray because of the deep sense of guilt and shame I've carried throughout my life being in the closet. I really hope to find encouragement and watching Dr Whites sermon on the website made me cry so hard.
I want to find that peace and love again with Jesus. And I want to do it knowing that I am ok and that God loves me for who I am. Thank you for reading and I hope to be of some support or aid on the forums.
04-09-2009, 04:21 PM
God created you with the capacity for intimacy with your own gender because there is another of his children who he has also blessed with this capacity who needs you. Search for him. and when the two of you meet and make love. God smiles like a parent watching his child opening a gift on Christmas morning.
Christianity and Christians are often un-Christ-like in that they Feel entitled to Moral Superiority which somehow grants them license to practice predation and abuse on others with different metaphysical spiritual paradigms. There are Muslims with the same sense of moral superiority with "God's license to Kill."
WWJD is a great guide. If you physically met Christ by travelling back in time and told him of your love for your special man and how the two of you shared such joy what would he do? Picture him smiling at you and blessing the joy you share and thanking you for making his other special child full of happiness and joy.
It will no doubt be necessary to turn away from many forms of Christianity to find Christ again. His love is unconditional, anyone claiming that they knew HIs conditions is off the mark from the start.
I am myself not a christian in that my metaphysical beliefs diverge from Those who Define Christianity. Uncondtional love of self and others means no changes are needed in you. You are lovable because He made you lovable.
Start with a Gay Affirming church. Unitarian Universalist and metropolitan community Church are two.
I study Buddhism and practice nature-based spirituality. I embrace the teachings of Christ also. Without others making rules, conditions and restrictions, all three spiritual paradigms have the same taste. Unconditional love, compassion, forgiveness and lovingkindness. Below is a link to a short story I wrote about a young man who learned to love himself
04-09-2009, 07:24 PM
Omg thank you so much! I loved the story. really touched me. Thanks for the information on the gay friendly churches i'll look them up.
04-09-2009, 09:11 PM
Welcome to the site, Jason. I am also a veteran (army) and a transgender person. I only discovered this four years ago. Reconciling it with my faith was of utmost concern. When I prayed to the Lord, it was as if He wrapped His arms around me said that he loved me. I cried tears of joy.
Jason, God loves you :love: as you are. He knew that you were gay all along. I wish that we could meet so I can give you a hug of affirmation.
04-10-2009, 06:17 AM
Thank you thank you so very very much. Already I feel uplifted and better knowing there are others just like me who have endured these things as well.
04-10-2009, 07:45 PM
Hi Jason. I just wanted to say hello. How are you today? You were on my heart so I prayed for you. I pray God's spirit moved in you today.
04-18-2009, 10:40 PM
Welcome Jason :wave:
There are a couple people that I am very close to that suffer from PTSD, so I have a sense of how challenging it is to overcome. I applaud you for being so strong and getting some help. :love:
You are loved here! I will look forward to seeing you around the forums. :)
04-20-2009, 10:33 AM
Glad you could join us on the forums.
It sounds like you have had a rough time. That is the way with so many gay individuals. We seem to go through stresses that are totally unnecessary simply becasue we are gay.
My road to "coming out" also started with Stranger at the Gate. Mel White has helped so many people by writing the account of his life and struggles.
So many people say that one cannot be Christian AND gay. I refuse to accept that. I know that I am one of God's loved children who receives grace and forgiveness every day. I am also gay. I am convinced that the two are totally compatible and I am not going to change either one.
You probably have to give your parents time. You are young enough that they still feel responsible for you. I had the advantage of being 46 when I came out to my mom and stepdad (always a little late to the game...sigh!). Mom had some difficulty, but has since become a supporter of gay rights. Coming from a conservative Christian background, I find that people generally need education on the issue of being gay. Most people that I have been in contact with are willing to listen, not everyone, but most.
Wishing you the best.
Please make your voice heard here on the forums.
Tu Amigo, Pablo
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