Hiya

[argyle]

Hi. I just wanted to say that I was at an Equality Ride stop. I've got to make it clear that you can be GLBT in the military... you just can't go blabbing about it. I've been in for quite some time now, and I'm 100% okay. I can do whatever I want, except I can't go parading around with a frickin' poster. You shouldn't go blabbing about your sexuality anyways; I don't think it's proper for person to do. It's certainly not a good conversation starter.

That's all I wanted to say. Thanks. :)

[awediot]

Heya argyle,

How'd you slip in and go a day without a greet? :confused: (wait, edit, its late, and that 24 O'clock thing still confuses me...^#(~!%*>)

It sounds like you've got somethings on your mind... GOOD. A different pov is always welcome. Don't think there's many people in the service around here, but plenty of second hand opinions I'm sure.

Speaking of which, I believe you can indeed be GLBT in the military, but can you be yourself? I found that the bitch of being closeted was that people often see the slightest mention of an interesting blind date or important event with your spouse, as throwing the gay thing in their face, when all you want to do is have a normal conversation. It gets tiring and painful biting your tongue for 8, 10, or for you, near 24 hours a day. You end up being quieter, more reclusive and stand-offish around the potential friends you spend so much guarded time with... Blabbing, mincing and marching really have little to do with just talking... And not a good conversation starter? Depends on where you're at, who's involved and how cute they are... It worked for you here. ;)

Glad to 'see' ya and hope to hear more... Dean (awediot)

[Jamie McDaniel]

Hi. I just wanted to say that I was at an Equality Ride stop. I've got to make it clear that you can be GLBT in the military... you just can't go blabbing about it. I've been in for quite some time now, and I'm 100% okay. I can do whatever I want, except I can't go parading around with a frickin' poster. You shouldn't go blabbing about your sexuality anyways; I don't think it's proper for person to do. It's certainly not a good conversation starter.

That's all I wanted to say. Thanks. :)

Hi argyle and welcome to Soulforce. You might be the first cadet to come to the forums, though I do know there are people in Soulforce who served.

Technically you are correct, you can be a GBLT person and be in the military. But the conditions placed on GLBT service members are unreasonable and wrong.

I am concerned that, when talking about being an openly gay person, you used the phrases "blabbing about it" and "parading around with a frickin' poster." Since you are GLBT yourself (I read that correctly, right?) the reason I am concerned is that so many GLBT people have been taught the same thing. Rather than challenged to come out and be authentic, we are encouraged (or worse commanded) to stay in the closet.

As an experiment, I once attempted to keep a mental track of how many times a day a certain co-worker made reference to his sexuality. He was just your average married man, but everytime he talked about his wife, answered her phone calls with "hi honey", or signed up his spouse for the company insurance, he was "blabbing" about his sexuality.

If I had shown offense and asked him to please stop making statements that revealed his sexual orientation, he would have screwed up his face and refused. And rightly so, I should add, because my demand would have been unreasonable.

Why do GLBT people agree to such conditions?

[closetcougar]

Thought provoking. I told a guy on a website I wanted gay people to be treated equally and BYU and he asked me to stop flaunting my sexuality. So I posted back and told him that he once mentioned he was straight and I found it offensive that he would divulge such a thing.

[Jennifer5]

It's true a gay person isn't being any worse than a straight one... they're quieter about it actually.

[argyle]

awediot: I can 100% be myself. I'm sorry, but if I'm at work, it's not as if it's like... "Oh, hey, do you need me to make copies of that for you, sir?" "No, it's okay. So, how are you doing today?" "Oh, it's a great gay day. Thanks for asking. Are you going out with your wife tonight, because I'm certainly going to go and be with my girlfriend." That's unprofessional in the first place. Work is work. It's not proper to talk about your personal life at work, certainly not in the military. If I was straight, I wouldn't talk about it still.

Jamie: I'm not at liberty to say what I am (but it's not what you labelled me as ;) ). I'll refer to you my reply to awediot... it's not staying in the closet, it's observing professional policies. Everytime I hear someone talking about their "hot date last night", I just smile to myself... because I know they're being unprofessional. Having personal discipline is a wonderful thing. Off duty, frankly, it's no one's business what I do, regardless of sexual orientation. So, you see... it's NOT limiting at all. Back before the "don't ask, don't tell" policy came into effect, GLBT people in the military use to get beaten, harassed, even murdered. Now, it's not like that. There are policies in measure. Did you know that if your command finds out you're gay, they convene a board to hear your cause... and they can let you stay in? It's true.