Swan Song in 87 posts

[awediot]

Hi Tony (Exgay-biz), where ever you are...

A few of us night ship passed by Tony in a couple of threads. His words were familiar criticism that by now rolls off most backs, but not all. If you have not taken a look at what his 'Hi...' greeting thread turned into, please take a couple minutes. It breaks records, rules and hearts, and explains where at least one man's love, fear and anger is coming from. There is always more to the story, and it is easy and necessary to get pulled in sometimes.

I may elaborate more later on the exchange, and the private messaging going on between Jenifer and myself, later...

(P.S. :tup: Jennifer. Hope ya weren't to sleepy)

(P.S... Tony, Good Luck and God be with you. It was real, a little fun, but not real fun. Hope married life is more than ever wished for...)

[Jennifer5]

Perfectly put Awediot.

I'm not to sleepy... how about you?.... I didn't get up until 11:00 so it wasn't so bad.

Feel free to share Awediot, (maybe not about the father thing:lol: )I really enjoyed talking back and forth with you last night. Thanks again for sticking with me.... I was starting to get worried trying to do this alone. Hope to hear more from you on this.:love:

[Zerbie]

Man oh man. Unfortunately I had an appointment this morning that kept me mostly away from the computer - I logged on just long enough to see that X's thread turned a startling 87 posts long overnight, and I read the first 2 or 3 where he goes at it with Jennifer. :mad: :mad: I started to get pretty protective but with at least 80 more posts to read & no more time left, I had to log off and go to the appointment without posting any comments. From what I saw J was handling the situation with aplomb and maturity beyond her years. Kudos, Jennifer. I'm sorry the rat was going after you like that.

While driving around town I got to thinking of his comments about a kid "hanging around with homosexuals" and thought, hmm, I should write a satirical How To manual called how to drive youth right towards the gay community without passing GO, and it would start with guys like that being so harassing, so vitriolic, and unpleasant that peeps would just go running off to the LGBT community centers to get AWAY from THEM. Know what I mean? When I was a child, I gravitated towards gay adults on a regular basis because they tended to be the *only* ones not spewing irrational and viciously cruel rhetoric. I had lots of protective gay men looking after me, it was like having gay "uncles" and believe me I preferred their companionship to the people making gay jokes and panicking about "AIDS, the gay-disease" (which I've noticed is another of X's propaganda pieces on his website. :mad: )

Sorry to be so name-calling of him in this note, I don't quite know how else to refer to him accurately. I obviously don't know his "story" despite spending time on his website and reading his short blurb about conversion in church and thanking his mom for rejecting him. Obviously there is a great deal more going on there, and for that I am deeply sorry. I hope that the upcoming marriage proves to be a blessing in his life and brings him to a better "place" psychologically. He must be in an internal hell if he has to come here and make harassing posts, completely walled-off to every inviting response he was offered. It is a very sad situation, really.

[Jennifer5]

Thanks for begin so nice... I didn't think I was saying the right things... but you seem to think so, so thanks. Yeah, Awediot, ExGayBiz and I were writing nonstop for about hour and a half I think. I didn't think he was really going after me. He clearly has something much worse going on in his life, if he has to talk like that... I feel sorry for him.

I know exactly what you mean Zerbie about the gay "uncles"... I have about 3-5 of those around.... I just refer to them as uncles because it's easier to say it that way than it is to explain the relationship. I think they are the reason I'm so extreme on these things... how do you explain that he is my mom's best friend... every time? It's easier to say my uncle. I just love having all the gay guys around.... they're the ones I connect with the most.:love:

Sorry to be so name-calling of him in this note, I don't quite know how else to refer to him accurately. I
I know it's hard but you have to remember that people say things that they don't mean... or things that they are just saying to protect themselves. He has issues just like everyone else... don't blam the guy. We may not agree, but if we act the way he does about things... we're just as bad.:love: He's just like all of us are...

[Zerbie]

Jennifer, you're beautiful. Thank you. :love:

[Jennifer5]

I don't exactly know what you mean by that... but thanks:love:

[themattperry]

The whole things is disturbing to me, and sad ...

I also wonder why he had a picture of Alan Thicke on his profile?

Basically, it just seems like he needs alot of prayer.

[Jennifer5]

Exactly.... he has problems of his own.:pray:

[Zerbie]

:lol:

I meant that part where you are able to extend so much understanding and compassion to the guy. (I finally read the whole thing) You're right, too. :) I vacillate between caring for the guy and getting fighting mad. Guess I have a protective streak - hard for me not to call names someone who tells a 15 year old girl she is going to hell for being kind!!! :mad:

Had he tried this on a couple different fora I can think of, he would have been blasted out of the water with vicious nasty responses. The two of you were amazing for the gentle, yet tough and reasoned way you handled that interaction. I found your responses very kind as well as sensible.

[Jennifer5]

Guess I have a protective streak - hard for me not to call names someone who tells a 15 year old girl she is going to hell for being kind!!!


Thanks, but don't worry about that.... that's why we have you! To remind us that what we were doing was okay. :love: I appreciate the you being so protective... it reminds me that we really are all in this together..... try no to call names... believe me I know it's hard not to point fingers... :love: I've just had to deal with simular situations many times. We're just as bad if we do what they do.:) ..... I was just happy that Awediot stuck around, he helped a lot. Thanks for being so nice Zerbie!:love:

[Mia14]

I can see why Soulforce does censor some things - it definitely did seem to conflict the nurturing we usually experience on these forums. I also understand that we need to remember that people like ExGayBiz are out there. I think it was wise for Jaime to leave that thread up as is, but closed. Sometimes I think we need a little bit of that to remind ourselves what we're trying to work towards, and to exercise our reasoning skills in realtime.

I'm thankful that we had the experience of ExGayBiz to shake things up a bit and make us redefine our own beliefs once again, but I'm also very glad that its over. I enjoy these forums far too much as a place to speak with open-minded people - not always like-minded people, but open-minded ones all the same. I'm glad its been restored to that intelligent discussion center that I always thought it was.

[awediot]

...a little background:


I had read down to Ex's post where He was going to "contact everyone we were going to visit"... I wrote this in response, then checking back, saw that Jennifer had replied in the mean time. The fact that his self satisfaction was indeed based on "one person and that one person can't even legally drive yet." was an absurd irony I wanted desperately to point out without insulting or undermining Jen. She stepped up to the plate beautifully knocking him clean off his pedestal and rendering my (rather mean) reply unnecessary (probably a good thing. Jen shut me up). Still, it says some of what I'd like to say here:

(Note to Tony: I know you will read this and am tempted to edit parts of it, but as you dislike editing so much...)

Tony,

Understand, I, and Jennifer and Keltic, and all the other "MEMBERS" here, speak for ourselves, not SoulForce as a whole. I suggest you follow any of the numerous links to get an official statement. To use any individual members words as PROOF of what you are here sifting to find is unconscionable and childish.

see, so you were only at ACU to push the homosexual agenda. This is all the proof I need for the ACU staff. Thanks for the information. You want folks to liseten to you, but you have no intention on listeneing to them. I told ACU to not enable you with any more visit's because you are only there to push the homosexual agenda

What is the homo Uganda you see? And it might help to come up with something we haven't heard a million times before, or have a logical, thoughtful answer that a seven year old can't recite from Sunday school.
And I'm sure the ACU staff is delighted to have a seer such as your self explain how to access such a minefield we posit. good thing you came along to show them how this web thing works.

No matter how you spin it, the double standard is proof you are only wanting to push the homosexual agenda. If you want to change and live for God feel free to contact me.

Didn't take you long. The nerve and self righteousness it takes to condemn this entire group as not living for God, should shame you more than any of the queer perversions you may have indulged in your past. And this you do in the name of God... As I stated about your site, you present no gentleness of spirit to draw me in and clearly rely heavily on fear for your evangelism. (Yawn) I see no evidence you have anything to teach me or reason to contact you. Seems you have jumped the gun or already run dry of persuasive conversation. I would dread your influence on some of more malleable members here, but your words are simplistic and trite enough for the most vulnerable to see through. May I suggest a lesson or two in charisma. Inviting a deceived lot of strangers and sinners to sign your guest book is not showing an openness to friendship at this point. It is just rather strange.

I will contact everyone you plan to visit and let them know your intentions.

Knock yourself out. You apparently assume even your allies are as ignorant as your enemies. Too bad heterosexuality didn't come with a personality. It would get you the respect and lost souls you desire.
...again, do not blame SF for the tone of my letter. The second chance I gave you after viewing your site has gone up in flames.


I hadn't quite finished or edited my hasty reply (or altered it here), before the immediacy of their conversation took over. Jen indicated she wished to stand on her own and that I was welcome to step in, but it wasn't needed. She not only was handling it well, but had him on the ropes. I held back as long as I could... I was angry, and all he could do was cut and paste his site in as a response... I will leave J's and my private msgs as such...


I still would like to comment on some of subject matter, rather than the circumstances, but have to collect my thoughts first... Just wanted this clarification out there while the topic was fresh...

[Jennifer5]

Thanks for stepping in! You were a great help.... and helped me stay level-headed... not say something I would regret:love:

[Emproph]

Perfectly put Awediot. I concur.

I was here and I saw that you guys were on, I just didn’t realize you were talking to each other! Then this morning when I was done making my internet rounds I noticed that thread and was like 87 POSTS?! :eek: I read what Jamie had said and saw that he closed it, so I went back and read it through from beginning to end (skimmed the bible parts) and what a roller coaster ride.

You’ve got some fire in you Jennifer, and some serious compassion, I was impressed. And then awediot comes in right on que for reinforcement. The youngest one and wisest one among us doing battle with the “beast” so to speak.

It was pretty confrontational until toward the end it completely changed tone and I actually began to understand him a bit better and the fear and confusion that people like him live with in ascribing to the “reality” of an eternal hell. Not that he was going about ‘warning’ us of our hellbound status in the right way, but I got a sense of the urgency and the so called ‘need to be saved from our sin’ part. By the end I felt bad for him too, but in a personal way rather than in the disconnected abstract sense that I usually do for people I deem to be “like that.”

And poor Jamie, having had to keep up with and delete objectionable posts since he signed up, then warn him and finally ban him. I kept reading the number of posts he had but could never find them all. So it seems he was given plenty of chances to adhere to the rules, which I read again and found to be more than reasonable.

I almost responded when he questioned why his posts were being deleted and Jennifer put it MUCH better than I would have by saying that for some people this is the only safe place they have.

Anyway, that’s one of the best exchanges I’ve seen in awhile. Post after post after post, dozens and dozens before cracking through and finally seeing a glimmer of recognition on his part of your humanness. Not that it changes his overview of things but you guys stuck with it and at least got through that far. There’s your definition of “relentless,” kudos to you both. :tup:

[Jennifer5]

Isn't this great Awediot, we say what we mean... keep at it and get this much credit.

I don't think that I derseve the credit that you're all giving me... but I have to be honest... I'm kind of enjoying it:rolleyes: ...I probably shouldn't. The weird part was this all kind of took place one night from 9:00 - 1:30 just hours of going back and forth.... come on Awediot you don't seem to be accepting the credit you deserve... you really do deserve it..:love: take it:pray: ..... I don't know about you but... as you know... this was fun for me.

Thank you all...:love:

[awediot]

:oAwww shucks..... emproph's must've been high praise is embarassing and far from deserved. But hell, he ought to know (back pat, back pat:D)... and I'm still waiting for a mean bone in Zerbie's body;)... she's the classic optimist who gets a huge pile of crap and tears through it delightfully looking for the pony. Not sure how she continues to get so much of my respect. Rarely does simple niceness last as it gains such depths... You are the one who shone through beyond your years, and not only in that exchange. You put some of the tough lessons you've learned to good use, and have a right to feel proud of yourself. I was proud of you, and I think Ex was shocked to end up feeling the same... now if we can just get you over all those relentless smileys....:p (can't let your head get too big)... Thanks ya'll.

[Jennifer5]

Okay Awediot... I'm backing off now..... but I still like the smileys:confused: :p ;) :D :) :rolleyes: :eek: :cool:....I guess I'm acting more my age now...:lol:

[Zerbie]

:)... and I'm still waiting for a mean bone in Zerbie's body;)... she's the classic optimist who gets a huge pile of crap and tears through it delightfully looking for the pony. Not sure how she continues to get so much of my respect. Rarely does simple niceness last as it gains such depths... Thanks ya'll.

????????????????????????????????
:eek:

Bwaahaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay I almost pissed my pants when I read that.

If you're so eager to meet a mean bone, I spose I could go on over there and slap you silly for all those backhanded comments. That crack about the pony poo does read as rather, less than flattering, ya know. Then the stuff about "simple niceness." and "depths"??? I must embody the very depths of simplicity. Well, hm, actually, that's kinda cool. Depths of simplicity. Simple depths. Tis the gift to be simple. . . (waita minute, I hate that song. Even if it is by Copland.)

Now, I insist I'm quite capable of viciousness. My husband, otoh, insists he knows me better and that I am NOT. Evenso, there is a side of me ya wouldn't wanna run into. (cue spooky music) If Mr X had spewed some of that gobbledeygook about hell:mad: and orientation change to my friends in 3D, you might've seen it. Which is one reason to appreciate the internet.;)

[awediot]

See, you prove my point... A simple, deep F* you was called for :lol:.


Slap taken... I usually see sweet being phoney and shallow, and am delighted and confused to have your consistent kindness and inteligence school me... and I am no flatterer. You are both fun and make me think, and that is kind of rare. (and hard to convey. Sorry if the compliment felt a little backhanded. its just my lack of tact):)

[Zerbie]

Slap taken... I usually see sweet being phoney and shallow, and am delighted and confused to have your consistent kindness and inteligence school me... and I am no flatterer. You are both fun and make me think, and that is kind of rare. (and hard to convey. Sorry if the compliment felt a little backhanded. its just my lack of tact):)

If you see me as being something other than phoney and shallow, then why call me sweet?

Happy to delight you. :) Not wishing to confuse you.

That bit about "consistent kindness" now is one of the most meaningful and wonderful things ever communicated to me. :love: I hope it is deserved.

As to the fun, make ya think stuff, well: two of my most salient characteristics are goofiness, and a philosophical bent. Great combo to have if you're gonna teach, which I like to do. Happy to entertain.

[awediot]

Blame the avatar for the first impression of "sweetness"...You've become a tad less tonight, thank you very much... I actually try to picture you as a 300 black woman with a perpetually half finished Colt 45 brewski on a TV tray and Marlboro burning away next to ya... Just keeping my stereotyping in check... the rest I just call as I think I see...:love:

[Zerbie]

Blame the avatar for the first impression of "sweetness"...You've become a tad less tonight, thank you very much... I actually try to picture you as a 300 black woman with a perpetually half finished Colt 45 brewski on a TV tray and Marlboro burning away next to ya... Just keeping my stereotyping in check... the rest I just call as I think I see...:love:


Oh, yeah, the avatar!

Man, you better hope we never meet in 3D if that's the image you want to have of me. . .ok ok I'll try really hard not to mention that the avatar looks frighteningly similar to me in real life. :p

Then again, next time one of my friends chuckles and tells me how "cute" I am, I'll give 'em your description of me. I enjoyed it. Should have them rolling on the floor instantaneously.

I picture you looking like your avatar, fwiw.

But the mental picture I like to have of myself is of a 6.5 foot tall, 300 pound hairy muscle man with tatoos all over my arms and back. And nothing could be further from the actuality. :( :lol: :lol: :lol:

:love:

[Jennifer5]

I was just thinking about the Tony Horton thread... so I looked it up and skimmed it.

If anyone else feels like they wanted to do the same feel free. It was a good reminder- Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

When dealing with people who are homophobic keep in mind that there is more to the story. Tony seemed like he was just homophobic and ignorant, but after hours of talking we began to realize that he was deepily troubled and struggling greatly with what was going on in his life. :love:

[tdogg]

I wonder how Awediot is doing??

Wise words Jen. :love:

[Zerbie]

Awe comes by and reads forums from time to time - I presume, since I see his screen name logged in some times.
I liked his presence and appreciated his posts. Would enjoy hearing from him now and then. We're a bit tame for him, I suspect.

[Jennifer5]

For a long time he was definately one of my favorite forum members, he added a lot to these forums!

Right up there with Emproph, who we don't see enough of in my opinion. The man who single-handedly got me to Colorado for the 1000 Watt March! Then showed up to join me!! :love::love:

There is always a lot of power to their posts! :)

[Emproph]

For a long time he was definately one of my favorite forum members, he added a lot to these forums!

Right up there with Emproph, who we don't see enough of in my opinion. The man who single-handedly got me to Colorado for the 1000 Watt March! Then showed up to join me!! :love::love:

There is always a lot of power to their posts! :)

I miss him too. I'd rather he were around, scolding me for not being loving enough than to not see him at all.

His posts always blew me away too.
--
BTW, I’m starting to recover from the stress of this past election cycle, so hopefully I’ll be chiming in more often. :love:

-Patrick

[Jennifer5]

I miss him too. I'd rather he were around, scolding me for not being loving enough than to not see him at all.

His posts always blew me away too.
--
BTW, I’m starting to recover from the stress of this past election cycle, so hopefully I’ll be chiming in more often. :love:

-Patrick

In person, we only got to spend a couple hours together... but getting me to that protest is enough to make you one of my heroes! There was a lot going on and a lot of good memories that came from that day(for me at least).

I'm definately ready to see more of you around here! :love::love::love: