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Daniel
07-13-2009, 08:46 PM
This is one methodology that I have used as a result of having tinnitus: I've had to learn how to deal with my reactions to disturbing sounds. It's good stuff. (The other methodology is the practice of Tonglen- a Tibetan Buddhist meditative technique.)

Understanding the mechanism of how thoughts can effect us is key to understanding the person we are talking to, and not only that, but ourselves as well.

We all 'suffer' from something- that is- if we live long enough. I encourage you to post those methodologies and techniques- informal or not- spiritual and mundane- simple or complex- that have helped you.

May we all find and bring about the peace and joy that we seek!


Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. What is it and how does it work.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a concept going back to the first century B.C. when the philosopher Epictetus (60-120 BC) said "men are disturbed not by things but the view they take of them". Later, Marcus Aurelius (121-180 BC) echoed the same concept. This reinforces the suggestion that few people come for therapy complaining about their thinking, but their self defeating thinking is more often than not their major problem. The major figure in CBT is Aaron Beck whose major work was published in 1976 (Aaron Beck 1976) making an immediate impact on psychological approaches. Beck gave the name "automatic thoughts" to the thoughts and images occurring involuntary in the stream of consciousness. If these thoughts are negative an emotional disorder might be the result. Danger or threat thought's might produce anxiety: if loss is the theme, depression might occur. The second major player regarding CBT is Albert Ellis who emphasised the role of irrational beliefs (Ellis.A.1977) in CBT in action. A simple example would be, "if I make a mistake, it proves I am useless". but this type of thinking can be dangerous if taken to the extreme because the person might then begin projecting and begin to constantly blame others to avoid blaming themselves. Ellis proposed the ABC model of irrational thinking. This model proposes that (A) an activating event leads to emotional consequences at ( C ), but with mediating beliefs at (B). A extremely simple example from (CBT in Action) is described below.

For example.

A = Activating event. -- A worker fails to acknowledge a colleague.

B= Beliefs. (a) infers = he must be angry with me, he now dislikes me.
(b) evaluation = I'ts awful if some one dislikes you.

C= Emotional result. ( c ) Depression.
Behavioural result = future avoidance of colleague.

But the activating event need not always be actual, it can be a memory, a thought about a future event or an emotion itself. This is often seen in CBT relating to panic disorders, which are often precipitated by the fear of fear. Fear can then result in palpitations, etc, or the fear of passing out or even of having a heart attack.

These are really simple examples that also show a self fulfilling prophecy nature caused by negative self defeating beliefs.

As Beck's term "automatic thinking" imply, negative thinking is often a habit and the client is usually only semi aware of its existence. Clients only become aware when they are upset or at stage C. Therefore the early process in CBT is to get the client aware of thoughts and feelings and how they trigger the more negative thoughts.

It can be seen from the above that CBT and all related behavioural therapies are grounded in the concepts put forward by the early works of Pavlov, Skinner and Watson with "Classical Conditioning" suggesting mere association learning was enough to illicit behaviour by "automatic thought". More recently Beck and Ellis refined and developed CBT. An example is "Rational Emotive Behavioural therapy", but its basic foundations remain the same. CBT it is probably seen as the most successful of the talking cures by many clinicians, but it is very doubtful that it could ever replace in depth psychoanalysis. This is mainly because the behavioural therapies tend to minimise the past (Margaret Hough. 1998), although Ellis did not regard the past as irrelevant in any way. Indeed he was trained in Freudian psychoanalysis but came to believe little progress could be made by dwelling on past events. The argument as to whether behavioural therapies are superior to drug treatment has been raging for the last two decades ever since the policy of closing the asylums and treating patients with newly discovered drugs was introduced (Peter Barham, 1992). To many this seemed to be a quick fix and a boon, a boon that soon became a nightmare.

It became clear that although the drugs retuned the transmitter balance that had been altered by maladapted and negative thoughts, they did not remove the primary cause. Consequently setbacks were many. In drug therapy very little is learned by the client, whereas with the talking therapies the client invariably learns a great deal about unconscious process that we are normally unaware of.

To conclude, although behavioural therapies such as CBT owe much to Thorndike and Skinner under the banner of behaviourism, their conclusions leave little room for free will and choice in their concept. Also they certainly rejected the Freudian idea of personality structure or other mental entities that might affect behaviour. Beck, Ellis, Maslow, Horney, Freud, Jung and many others have fortunately redressed this imbalance, removing us from the status of mere creatures reacting to external stimulus like automatons.


References.

Beck, A.T. (1976) Cognitive Therapy and emotional disorders. \new York: New American library.

Barham, P. (1992) Closing the Asylums. Penguin Books Ltd. London. New York. Victoria. Canada. New Zealand.

Ellis, A. (1977) The Basic Clinical Theory of rational Emotive therapy. In, Peter Trower, Andrew Casey, and Windy Dryden. Cognitive behavioural Counselling in Action.(1988). Sage publications. London. Thousand Oaks. New Delhi.

Hough, M. (1998) Counselling Skills and Theory. Hodder and Stoughton. London.

Rick336
07-14-2009, 02:06 AM
Daniel,

Thanks for this. It all makes good sense.

My thoughts about life have changed as I have aged and it has helped me to see the world as it really is and how time heals all wounds.

For example, when I was 20 years old, I said something to my aunt at a family reunion that was very disrespectful. I later regretted saying it but was too embarrassed to apologize. I fretted for years that my other aunts and uncles resented me for my unfortunate choice of words. I dreaded family reunions.

Here it is 37 years later and not a single relative who was present when I spoke disrespectful to my aunt is alive today. They have all passed away. There's not a person living today that knows that I ever said anything to my aunt for which I carried guilt around for years. In fact, the only evidence that I ever spoke disrespectful to my aunt in 1972 is this post.

I try in life to learn from my mistakes but occasionally I still slip up and act foolishly. I'm only human. But it helps me to keep in mine that no matter how stupid I may sometimes behave, eventually time will erase all evidence of it and it will be as if it never happened at all.

If we go outside and look around we will see almost nothing that was around just one-hundred years ago. In the past fifty years millions of people, animals, trees, cars, and buildings have disappeared or been replaced.

If there's one thing we have complete proof of, it's that time erases everything, including memories. Whether we like it or not, our days are numbered. In one-hundred years every person reading these words will be history. In two-hundred years, it will be as if most of us never existed at all.

It's important to try to learn from our mistakes but to obsess about the small stuff is completely pointless. The most important thing in life is to make the best of the time we have while we're still here.


Rick

Daniel
07-14-2009, 02:30 AM
If there's one thing we have complete proof of, it's that time erases everything, including memories. Whether we like it or not, our days are numbered. In one-hundred years every person reading these words will be history. In two-hundred years, it will be as if most of us never existed at all.

It's important to try to learn from our mistakes but to obsess about the small stuff is completely pointless. The most important thing in life is to make the best of the time we have while we're still here.


Interesting that you should write this.

This morning I woke from a dream, the subject of which, speaks to what you have written above.

I dream that I was going underground the street with some men and that they were looking for a place to bury my cremated remains. There were pipes everywhere- and no place to put me. All the space was taken up.

While this was happening, I heard as a voice-over the words "Ashes to Ashes and Dust to Dust".

When I heard these words, I felt the meaning of them, which is that what we think of as time and space and even physical presence is quite ephemeral- what the Buddhist's call Emptiness.

We can hold on so hard to things/thoughts, crowding out all the joy in the present, thinking that the thoughts we are having are solid as concrete. But they aren't.

You are right. Our days are numbered. And I am glad I was here to hear your story about your aunt. Made me think. And remember to not sweat the small stuff.

Thank you.

Rick336
07-14-2009, 06:19 PM
In the fifties TV star Jack Benny was a household name. Everybody in the US, young and old, knew who Jack Benny was. Today few young people have ever heard of him. In a hundred years few will have ever heard of Michael Jackson. In 1,000 years few will have ever heard of Abe Lincoln, Martin Luther King, or Princes Diana. No matter how famous a person is, they will eventually be forgotten.

There is an old cemetery about ten miles from here with headstones so worn by time that the names can no longer be read. No one knows who the people were or what they did. No one cares. In another couple of hundred years the headstones will be completely worn away along with any trace of the people's existence.

There is a group small mountains about forty miles south of here that are some of the oldest mountains in the US. Millions of years ago these mountains were as high as the Wyoming Tetons. Today they barely break the horizon.

Time erases everything.



We can hold on so hard to things/thoughts, crowding out all the joy in the present, thinking that the thoughts we are having are solid as concrete. But they aren't.

That reminds me of that verse from the song from thirty years ago by the group Kansas that goes:

Don't hang on
Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky
It slips away
And all your money won't another minute buy
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind.





Rick

Jennifer5
07-16-2009, 11:14 PM
This is one methodology that I have used as a result of having tinnitus: I've had to learn how to deal with my reactions to disturbing sounds. It's good stuff. (The other methodology is the practice of Tonglen- a Tibetan Buddhist meditative technique.)

Understanding the mechanism of how thoughts can effect us is key to understanding the person we are talking to, and not only that, but ourselves as well.

We all 'suffer' from something- that is- if we live long enough. I encourage you to post those methodologies and techniques- informal or not- spiritual and mundane- simple or complex- that have helped you.

May we all find and bring about the peace and joy that we seek!
Learning to deal with and control ones actions to any given situation is impressive. For me, the Tibetan Rites that you introduced me to seemed to be really helpful... I need to start doing that again, I was only just beginning to feel the results.

I think we all 'suffer' from something no matter how young, learning to deal with your challenges though can make all the difference.

It becomes more and more evident over time that I have anxiety problems regarding certain things. So far, I haven't found the best way of dealing with it, because my favorite solution usually isn't an option when I need it. When I get scared and anxious, I like to cuddle up with a guy that I can trust. I need to learn how to effectively calm myself down though. The Tibetan Rites are something that could really help me, I just need the discipline to get back into that.

Are there other things that you do to help you Daniel?

"men are disturbed not by things but the view they take of them"
Good reminder.

In the fifties TV star Jack Benny was a household name. Everybody in the US, young and old, knew who Jack Benny was. Today few young people have ever heard of him. In a hundred years few will have ever heard of Michael Jackson. In 1,000 years few will have ever heard of Abe Lincoln, Martin Luther King, or Princes Diana. No matter how famous a person is, they will eventually be forgotten.

There is an old cemetery about ten miles from here with headstones so worn by time that the names can no longer be read. No one knows who the people were or what they did. No one cares. In another couple of hundred years the headstones will be completely worn away along with any trace of the people's existence.

There is a group small mountains about forty miles south of here that are some of the oldest mountains in the US. Millions of years ago these mountains were as high as the Wyoming Tetons. Today they barely break the horizon.

Time erases everything.



That reminds me of that verse from the song from thirty years ago by the group Kansas that goes:

Don't hang on
Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky
It slips away
And all your money won't another minute buy
Dust in the wind
All we are is dust in the wind.



Rick
When you think of it that way, you could say that we all disappear. Here's the thing though, the memories of us as individuals and all the things that we accomplished may just become dust in the wind. However, the lessons that are taught will be passed down. A hundred years from now, people will still be expanding on discoveries made today. We disappear, but we live on through the generations in a small way.

p9vWvqUebfc

Rick336
07-19-2009, 01:10 PM
When you think of it that way, you could say that we all disappear. Here's the thing though, the memories of us as individuals and all the things that we accomplished may just become dust in the wind. However, the lessons that are taught will be passed down. A hundred years from now, people will still be expanding on discoveries made today. We disappear, but we live on through the generations in a small way.


Jennifer,

Yes. You are absolutely right. Our actions today, no matter how big or small can directly effect the future. Even a simple post on this forum read by someone who landed here while surfing the internet may slightly change the direction of that person's thinking on a particular subject.

Those new thoughts can lead to other new thoughts and possibly more awareness and progressive thinking until that person's life is in a much better place than if they had never accidentally stumbled onto this forum.

They may not stay here and contribute to the forum discussions. In fact, they may even forget where they learned the new way of thinking. But their life could be changed forever which could effect change in other lives.

Rick

Jennifer5
07-19-2009, 01:22 PM
Jennifer,

Yes. You are absolutely right. Our actions today, no matter how big or small can directly effect the future. Even a simple post on this forum read by someone who landed here while surfing the internet may slightly change the direction of that person's thinking on a particular subject.

Those new thoughts can lead to other new thoughts and possibly more awareness and progressive thinking until that person's life is in a much better place than if they had never accidentally stumbled onto this forum.

They may not stay here and contribute to the forum discussions. In fact, they may even forget where they learned the new way of thinking. But their life could be changed forever which could effect change in other lives.

Rick
Exactly, I know that I've been that person who stumbles across information and have my way of thinking changed. It happens all the time. There are so many people that have had a very small presence in my life, yet influenced me in a big way. They made me aware of things I didn't want to face, things that scared me to death. I'm grateful for all those little things. It's encouraging to think that we do influence things. :)

Daniel
07-19-2009, 06:59 PM
Are there other things that you do to help you Daniel?



Yes. There are a number of things I do (when I remember to do them!) when things get tough.

1) take walk.

2) take a shower (I find this very calming and get some of my most creative thoughts day dreaming - and yes- singing- under the water).

3) making a cup of tea (a ritual in itself that the Japanese have cultivated into an art form)

4) watch my manner of breathing. If it is shallow and fast I know something is amiss. The yogi's teach that if one can 'control' the breath one can 'control' one's thoughts. The Western world understands that long exhalations release stress.

5) get exercise

6) get out! nothing like a change of scenery to change one's point of view.

7) plan to have fun.

Jennifer5
07-19-2009, 07:11 PM
Yes. There are a number of things I do (when I remember to do them!) when things get tough.

1) take walk.

2) take a shower (I find this very calming and get some of my most creative thoughts day dreaming - and yes- singing- under the water).

3) making a cup of tea (a ritual in itself that the Japanese have cultivated into an art form)

4) watch my manner of breathing. If it is shallow and fast I know something is amiss. The yogi's teach that if one can 'control' the breath one can 'control' one's thoughts. The Western world understands that long exhalations release stress.

5) get exercise

6) get out! nothing like a change of scenery to change one's point of view.

7) plan to have fun.

These all suit you and they're all really good ways to relieve stress. I think exercise is the biggest thing for me, or sleep if the stress is because I'm exhausted (which happens a lot).

I'm also one that has to talk everything through, if it's a real problem that is. :o

Poetic Awakening
07-23-2009, 10:58 AM
Very interesting. Some good thoughts here.

How one learns to apply therapy to oneself is intriguing. Some people at a young age rock back and forth, to mimic the nurturing of their mother's embrace. Some immerse themselves in things unrelated to the issue, to give themselves some fresh air and a much needed break. Exercise is a great way to do that. I find many memorable moments in my life were spun either during or out of a long walk. I don't really do this much now, because if anything happened, I'd be worried about getting to the doctor and whatnot (being in a foreign country and all, pretty much by myself :( )

Another thing that helps me is reading a good book. Not a fictional story or anything, though they are a lot of fun, too. But works like the Dao de Jing or the annotated talks of J. Krishnamurti really put my mind and soul in a better place. Something about it, that I can't really explain.

I also like to write. Very much actually. If I get an idea or a good line in my head, I will usually write a short poem or song, and then work on it until I think it's good enough, and post it on facebook or myspace. I always try to keep it amongst friends, though, as I have this huge paranoia of being plagiarized. :mad:

Music is very therapeutic for me, as well, though you have to be mindful of that particular mood you want to set. It can help you just as much as it can hurt you, if you know what I mean by that. As in if you are depressed, listening to dreary and depressing music might not work out all that well ^_^
I like to play guitar and piano when I can, though I really am not that good. Well, I should say, I am not as good as I'd like to be. I have a tendency to be rather modest, but if I am getting frustrated with it, not being able to perform what I want to and how I want to, it is probably time for something else.

Talking to friends is also great. I like that a lot. But unfortunately I have a lot of things to talk about that only a very small number of my friends could either understand or care to listen to. Sometimes my wife is in that number, and sometimes she isn't (And that's tough, because she feels hurt when I feel like I have to talk to someone else... but when talking turns to fighting or whatever, depending on the issue, it really isn't a good idea to talk it out right then, anyway).

So I find myself talking to my dog a lot (too bad he's not here :'(), and of course myself. I have been a constant talker all my life, but only to me. I am usually quiet as a mouse around other people, and then can't shut up when I'm alone :p

But sometimes, because of my laziness and my tendency to lose interest in one thing for the sake of another, what I do for therapy changes all the time. So maybe I haven't really 'got it' yet. I'm always open to new ideas, though.lol

*And I know, I'm long-winded as hell. Please forgive me, as I have a huge tendency to drag every line out as far as it can go.*

RedneckDyke
07-23-2009, 02:12 PM
Writing is good. Something physical is good too. Go into the yard and dig a hole. Dig and dig until you pant and burn off whatever intense thing you are feeling. Then you can always fill in the hole. I used this when I would want to do something stupid like hurt myself or get in a fight or drive around when I was really upset and not safe for driving.
Also what is good if you are having a panic attack or a flashback from some trauma is to stick your head in the freezer. The temp change is pretty grounding.
I like music too. When I'm mad I like Metallica or NIN or angry country music like Charlie Daniels or David Allan Coe or Hank Jr. when I'm sad I like Buffet or goofy country music like Brad Paisley. I also like 80's music. The electronic stuff like Pet Shop Boys or Erasure.

Rick336
07-24-2009, 12:05 AM
Also what is good if you are having a panic attack or a flashback from some trauma is to stick your head in the freezer. The temp change is pretty grounding.

Sticking your head in the freezer when you're angry really does work. That is, until you notice that somebody ate all the Popsicles and then you're really pissed!!

Rick

RedneckDyke
07-24-2009, 10:06 AM
mmmmmmmm popsicles

Poetic Awakening
07-24-2009, 10:16 AM
Sticking your head in the freezer when you're angry really does work. That is, until you notice that somebody ate all the Popsicles and then you're really pissed!!

Rick

Hahahaha. I guess that's true.