Gregory_de_Bois
09-04-2009, 02:25 PM
Originally posted on my blog, but was encouraged to post here. Haven't done so in a while, but here it goes.
So, it has begun. I hate to use the expression, but what the hell, why not? I am starting a new chapter in my life, I am the co-author. Sometimes, I think that I’ve been put into a situation that I have no control over, 2100 miles away from friends and family, and in an environment far different from any I’ve experienced. In spite of this, I have little fear of what may come. I suppose I do fret over what I may lose, having left so many whom I love. There are times that I doubt that I’ve made the right decision attending this glorious institution, but those doubts are crushed as soon as I talk to those around me, the moment I walk around the paradisal campus, the lectures, and all else that makes up the college experience here at Kenyon.
I suppose what I’m getting at is, I feel blessed. Blessings are funny things, because there’s something complicated about them. Sometimes they are so complex that you don’t always recognize the blessedness of them. Or perhaps, it’s not that you don’t recognize it, but that you wonder whether there might just be something more to be had. I say this because I’m in such a different school environment, yet at the core there is the selfsame commitment to true education in both schools.
What’s most difficult is starting over. The past 4 years defined me, through my interactions with my classmates, my teachers, and all those around me. I matured, developed habits, formed opinions, but all that is over, at least in that way. This is not to say that I will cease doing those things. Quite the contrary! I shall do those things just as much, if not even more. But it will not be the same, for it will be in a different environment. So far, it has been wonderful. I’ve realized, however, the extent to which I relied on my close, dare I say intimate, comrades and companions. “We few, we happy few, we band of brothers [and sisters]” echoes in my head. I long not to go back, but to bring those I’ve been with. I know I must move on, but it is hard, even now. I love, nay I adore, my new companions. I have absolutely no doubt that I will develop lasting friendships, but I want these new friendships to be added to those I already had, not replace them.
Oh, I dunno what I’m really getting at. I think I’ve expressed it somewhat oddly. It may seem that the euphoric attitude has been crushed, but that is far from true. It is being accompanied by a somewhat sobering attitude. That expresses it better. Euphoria and Sobriety. Whatever that really means.
So, it has begun. I hate to use the expression, but what the hell, why not? I am starting a new chapter in my life, I am the co-author. Sometimes, I think that I’ve been put into a situation that I have no control over, 2100 miles away from friends and family, and in an environment far different from any I’ve experienced. In spite of this, I have little fear of what may come. I suppose I do fret over what I may lose, having left so many whom I love. There are times that I doubt that I’ve made the right decision attending this glorious institution, but those doubts are crushed as soon as I talk to those around me, the moment I walk around the paradisal campus, the lectures, and all else that makes up the college experience here at Kenyon.
I suppose what I’m getting at is, I feel blessed. Blessings are funny things, because there’s something complicated about them. Sometimes they are so complex that you don’t always recognize the blessedness of them. Or perhaps, it’s not that you don’t recognize it, but that you wonder whether there might just be something more to be had. I say this because I’m in such a different school environment, yet at the core there is the selfsame commitment to true education in both schools.
What’s most difficult is starting over. The past 4 years defined me, through my interactions with my classmates, my teachers, and all those around me. I matured, developed habits, formed opinions, but all that is over, at least in that way. This is not to say that I will cease doing those things. Quite the contrary! I shall do those things just as much, if not even more. But it will not be the same, for it will be in a different environment. So far, it has been wonderful. I’ve realized, however, the extent to which I relied on my close, dare I say intimate, comrades and companions. “We few, we happy few, we band of brothers [and sisters]” echoes in my head. I long not to go back, but to bring those I’ve been with. I know I must move on, but it is hard, even now. I love, nay I adore, my new companions. I have absolutely no doubt that I will develop lasting friendships, but I want these new friendships to be added to those I already had, not replace them.
Oh, I dunno what I’m really getting at. I think I’ve expressed it somewhat oddly. It may seem that the euphoric attitude has been crushed, but that is far from true. It is being accompanied by a somewhat sobering attitude. That expresses it better. Euphoria and Sobriety. Whatever that really means.