cmellard
10-16-2009, 02:58 PM
I find it hard to live in a world that condemns me for something I did not choose, do not have control over and cannot change.* It's like being condemned for being left handed or having blue eyes.* A Christian friend said God wants more and better for you than homosexuality.* That was a huge condemnation of me.* I am a homosexual.* You were saying God wants more and better than me.* If that is the case, why did God make me gay?* I didn't know what to call it, but I new I was gay in grammar school.* I played house with the girls while the boys played sports.* Once I hit puberty I found myself sexually attracted to other boys.* While they were interested in girls, dated girls, talked about girls, held hands and kissed in public, I had to hide who I was.* From my earliest memory I had to lie about who I was and who I was attracted to.* I was not allowed to be honest, date people I wanted to date, etc.* I don't understand why I married.* I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't figure out how to get out of it.* I loved my wife, but was not attracted to her sexually.* My drinking came from the pain and conflict I was feeling about who I was.* During high school many times I wished I were dead.* That would have been better than being homosexual.* I spend years trying to be straight.* I went to Exodus, had hands laid on me and people prayed for me.* When nothing changed, they told me I was too cerebral which meant that I was doomed.* I would never measure up.* I could not talk to anyone about any of this.* I went to seminary in an effort to change, but it only got worse.* I was totally alone with nobody to talk to.* So I have finally rejected the right-winged lies and accepted what science has been saying for the last half century--that there is nothing abnormal about being gay.* It is a normal variation of creation similar to blue eyes and left handedness.* I was thrilled to meet my partner and finally allow my wife to marry a straight man who would love her in every way. *
Today I am happy with who I am and the choices I have made.* I no longer have to lie or deny who I am.* I love my life with my gay partner.* I was meant to be in a relationship with a man.* But when Christians condemn me for being something I had no choice in and that cannot be changed, I am greatly offended.* I was told I am very black and white--another of their condemnations.* Yes, I am black and white.* I know now that God makes straight and God makes gay.* A gay person can no more become straight than a straight person can become gay.* Science has proven this with hundreds of studies.* Movements like Exodus are very harmful because they tell a vulnerable, hurting young man that who he is is wrong and that he has to change--which has been shown to be impossible.* Suicide among gay teens is much higher than straight teens.* This comes from the condemnation they feel from right-winged Christians who misinterpret and misapply the Bible.* It is these same Christians who used to Bible to justify slavery, relegate women to a second class position in society, and imprisoned Galileo for believing the earth was round and revolved around the sun.
My brother used to call me queer.* All through school I was called sissy, faggot and queer.* I'm tired of it.* I want to be accepted for who I am without ridicule or condemnation.
Today I am happy with who I am and the choices I have made.* I no longer have to lie or deny who I am.* I love my life with my gay partner.* I was meant to be in a relationship with a man.* But when Christians condemn me for being something I had no choice in and that cannot be changed, I am greatly offended.* I was told I am very black and white--another of their condemnations.* Yes, I am black and white.* I know now that God makes straight and God makes gay.* A gay person can no more become straight than a straight person can become gay.* Science has proven this with hundreds of studies.* Movements like Exodus are very harmful because they tell a vulnerable, hurting young man that who he is is wrong and that he has to change--which has been shown to be impossible.* Suicide among gay teens is much higher than straight teens.* This comes from the condemnation they feel from right-winged Christians who misinterpret and misapply the Bible.* It is these same Christians who used to Bible to justify slavery, relegate women to a second class position in society, and imprisoned Galileo for believing the earth was round and revolved around the sun.
My brother used to call me queer.* All through school I was called sissy, faggot and queer.* I'm tired of it.* I want to be accepted for who I am without ridicule or condemnation.