View Full Version : Hey, I'm Sam!
Hey guys! Umm I'm really not sure what, and what not to put here. My name is Sam, but you can call me Saru (been my online nickname since 1999). Umm I live in Virgina Beach, VA, I'm 19, and still in the closet to my family, seeing as they are hardcore republicans and want all "gay men dead" because they're filled with the spirit of the Antichrist. Umm, my dad works for Pat Robertson. Always interesting to hear my dad talk about him >.> all my friends know, and basically all my work knows. They're pretty cool about it. I'm just coming out of a deep depression I guess (still in it of sorts), I tried killing myself twice, neither times it worked. So I was getting deeper and deeper in depression, surrounding myself with Marilyn Manson and that kind of music, which kept me depressed. But as I was arguing whether or not Homosexuality was a sin google showed me the article written on this site about what the Bible said, and it made perfect sense. And since then I'm slowly getting happier. yay. I have an inkling my brothers may also be gay, along with my younger sister (I have actually read about a lot of stories where siblings are all gay.. But I still don't know how common it really is.)
Ummm... Still not sure what I was\am supposed to put here so I'll just put:
Nice to meet you guys :)
02-17-2010, 12:03 PM
I am so thankful your attempts to kill yourself were not successful! Praise God! I have actually just come out to my family, friends (some aleady knew), co-workers and my church. It has been a very difficult time; however it has been so freeing! I have struggled for so long with my faith as a Christian and how I can keep my faith and be gay. I have tried and tired to change to be an "ex-gay". It has not worked and I am almost 29 years old. I actually just broke off my engagement to my fiancee 3 weeks ago. I just couldn't move forward and drag her deeper into this.
I actually graduated with my MA in Film from Regent, so I know all about Pat! Ha-ha! Bless your heart! Your Dad works for him? Just be patient and try to understand that your family just isn't there yet. My Mom isn't either.
02-17-2010, 12:21 PM
Its difficult when your family won't accept you. Luckily mine is pretty cool about it (well, they try at least..but they still have their moments) but my girlfriend's family threatened to sue me...so, needless to say they're not so accepting. But, I have come to terms with my faith and sexuality, and pray that those who condemn us will understand someday as well. Good luck! I'm glad that you didn't succeed in killing yourself, that would have been a terrible tragedy.
Welcome to the forums! I hope you find the support you need. :)
02-17-2010, 02:48 PM
Hi Saru and welcome. I am so happy that you failed in the suicide attempts. God has a plan for your life. I'm a transgender individual, so I know what society thinks about us. God sees us as His chosen vessels.
02-18-2010, 02:48 PM
Being in the closet is a very dark and depressing experience. I firmly believe that God wants us to live honestly and authentically.
Since you are only 19, you are probably still to an extent under your parents' authority. I think it is very valuable to be open and honest with people. especially one's family. That might be tough in your situation, but I would definitely head in that direction if I were you. Make sure you are independent enough and strong enough to endure the difficulties that might follow.
And being gay is definitely NOT a sin. We cannot let people convince us of that. The Bible does not support such an idea; it is all man-made interpretation. Being gay is the way that God made us, and he/she knows what is the best.
And don't let yourself get into suicidal depression. There are always people to ask for help and there are so many of us who have been through similar experiences.
Tu amigo, Pablo
02-18-2010, 05:44 PM
Saru! Nice to meet you. You can call me Bird :)
I'm sorry to hear about your depression, but happy that you're slowly coming out of it. I hope that from here on, things will only get better.
It's definitely rough being in the closet. I am too (I'm 17). But it's always good to have a place where you can be yourself - so I'm glad that you can be open with your friends and at work. It's always a plus. And being here is another place for great support.
Keep your head up!
02-20-2010, 09:11 PM
Your dad works for God's representative on earth? Wow. What a job! lol
I can only imagine how fearful you must be about coming out to your family. You'll know when the time is right. You aren't sick, or evil, or sinful because you are gay. You are just as valuable as anyone. I wish you the best as you continue to discover and embrace yourself.
One more thing: I know about depression and suicidal thoughts. Many of us here do. I hope you can find a good counselor to help guide you. I've been seeing a lesbian therapist for 3 years now, and I have no doubt she's saved my life on a number of occasions. Life can be painful, but there's always the "big picture" to keep in mind. Blessings!
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