Shame

[Daniel]

While this very good article I'ved 'linked' below doesn't use the word, when I read it, it's the first thing that came to mind.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/gay-and-lesbian-well-being/201008/parents-gay-children-and-courtesy-stigma

On the boards here there has been a lot of discussion about the acceptance of religiously conservative parents. And this article points out, I believe, that parents have a lot to deal with when their children tell them they are gay. Even without the religious element, there is the issue of shame.

God love them, but I know my family deals with this. They don't talk about it. But then, they don't talk much about my being gay either - at least not while I am present. You see: that is the power of shame.

Shame kills love.

[bnmoore]

One of our minister's recent talks deals with shame, guilt, and worry.

http://slc-atlanta.org/2010/08/fearsome-threesome/

Here's the affirmation that went with it:

"A mind focused negatively on my past or future does nothing to help me. Shame and guilt are useless emotions based on past experiences. Worry is useless because it fears something that has not yet happened. I focus on my present thoughts, and I choose only those that uplift me and support me."

[scott snedeker]

Both are excellent links, guys!

These treatments of shame help to cultivate its release.

I am a fan and practitioner of Buddhist tradition because it works for me and I can reconcile it with modern thinking.

The technique of Vipassanna or mindful awareness meditation uses focus of intellect (frontal cortex) on the llimbic (fear, shame, angst, etc) and links it to the prefrontal cortex (compassion, comfort, ease). This dissipates and inhibits the limbic activation, as sort of neuronal patch on a leaky limbic system.

These have been demonstrated on PET scans of Tibetan monks while meditating.

The above is experienced as becoming aware of the intense shame, focussing on every aspect and awareness of it, and then reaching for deep compassion for/from one's Heart.


Heart: (defined as the core of the desire to experience the joy of living, or more simply, the innocent inner child)

The more ways that people find to release shame by using this potential and resiliance within us, the more victories of nonviolence over the violence of oppression will be won.