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Bisexuality and the Conservative Agenda

Some of the recent news stories, combined with more of the same over the past few decades, have got me thinking about a fresh way of understanding an "adversarial viewpoint." Here's what I came up with:

Bisexuality and the Conservative Agenda

Much of the rhetoric surrounding the issues of GLBT equality has to do with the topic of “choice.” Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, there remains a large vein of extreme conservatism (the Religious Right and the Republican Party) who insist that a person’s sexual orientation is determined by a decision made by each individual.

How can that be? How can so many so-called intelligent people simply ignore all that evidence and all of our sworn statements and all of our testimonials that we, too, would have probably “chosen” to be straight… if that had only been an option for us. The idea that any persecuted class of citizen would “choose” to be persecuted is itself such a ludicrous proposition that it begs the question, “Why are we still arguing about choice?”

“Choice” is, after all, a central tenet to continued denial of human rights. The “choice” between straight and gay becomes, in the minds of conservatives, the choice between good and evil, and becomes therefore the singular point from which they are empowered to deny our civil liberties. Take away the issue of “choice,” and admit that we are born this way… and you take away their rationale for punishment. Take away the issue of “choice,” and they would have to start treating us like human beings.

The GLBT community, in all our activities and lobbying efforts, seem to pay little attention to the “B” in “GLBT,” and the reason for this becomes obvious when you look at our organizations a little more closely. Attend any PFLAG meeting around the country, or go to any gay church or activist-oriented meeting and you’ll find that while the gay, lesbian and transgendered communities are well represented, there are precious few self-identified bisexual people present.

So I asked myself why this might be… and the answer was so obvious that I was amazed it hadn’t occurred to me earlier. You see… you have to realize that some of us DO have a choice – there are those among us who have the luxury of being able to “pick” their own sexual orientation – and those fortunate few are called “bisexual.”

Think about it… if you had a choice… if you were bisexual, and could chose between full equality (straight) or being a member of the persecuted class (gay), which would you choose?

So maybe the reason we don’t have more bisexuals among our ranks, joining in the good fight for equality, is due to the fact that it was easier for them to simply make the choice to be “straight,” and voila… the issue no longer affects them… they become immune to the slings and arrows and religious and social and even physical violence directed toward the GLBT community.

Once I recognized this dynamic, then an even more amazing truth hit me so squarely between the eyes, that it almost knocked me out of my chair! I was sitting here, wondering about those people who – in spite of all this overwhelming evidence – continue to insist that being gay is a choice.

These people are terrified that recognizing gay humanity will cause in our country a gay “epidemic”… where all sorts of formerly “straight” people will begin “choosing” a gay lifestyle. The fear that making gay “ok” will therefore destroy the very fabric of the American family… that we’ll all start running around naked and making love in the streets… that cats and dogs will start sleeping together… “It’ll be anarchy, I tell you!”

Who would think such a thing? Who would honestly believe that it’s a simple matter of choice in spite of all the evidence? Well, I believe the most likely candidate is the near-forgotten “B” in “GLBT,” our bisexual brothers and sisters. Who else could “know” beyond a shadow of doubt that sexuality is a choice but those among us for which it actually IS a choice?

It is ironic to me that, in spite of our inclusion of bisexuals in our ongoing struggle toward freedom, that some bisexuals, in addition to choosing the “straight” path, have also chosen to be among our most prolific adversaries – spewing hate from pulpit and judicial bench, from pen and from stage… perhaps even bringing themselves to believe that we are all, like them, blessed with the ability to make our sexual orientation a simple matter of choice. So some of the people we are trying to help liberate are also the same people who are “hell-bent” on subduing our liberty.

The dynamic is all around us, as we see preachers and “straight” Republican congressmen getting busted for illicit gay sex acts in airport restrooms, we can’t help but start to ask why those who shout most loudly against our liberties seem to be trying foremost to keep their own “demons” at bay….

I say, “Enough!” I happen to be a gay man, but I don’t presume to believe or preach the ridiculous notion that all men are therefore gay. So if you happen to be bisexual, we’re simply asking that you don’t make the ludicrous assumption that all humans are similarly oriented to being able to make that choice. I’ll make a deal with you… I’ll accept your bisexuality – I’ll accept the notion that you really can choose – if you accept the fact that I can’t. How’s that for a deal?

Maybe if more of us can start to accept the notion that humans are created with a variety of qualities, we can all start to get along better.

--Troy Carlyle

Troy,

You and I have spoken several times before very amicably. Do you know that I am bisexual? Naturally, I have some responses to your (interesting and in some ways on-target) assessment of bisexuality and "choice."

Quote:

Originally Posted by glbt_equality (Post 39932)

Bisexuality and the Conservative Agenda

Much of the rhetoric surrounding the issues of GLBT equality has to do with the topic of “choice.” Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, there remains a large vein of extreme conservatism (the Religious Right and the Republican Party) who insist that a person’s sexual orientation is determined by a decision made by each individual.

How can that be? How can so many so-called intelligent people simply ignore all that evidence and all of our sworn statements and all of our testimonials that we, too, would have probably “chosen” to be straight… if that had only been an option for us. The idea that any persecuted class of citizen would “choose” to be persecuted is itself such a ludicrous proposition that it begs the question, “Why are we still arguing about choice?”

“Choice” is, after all, a central tenet to continued denial of human rights. The “choice” between straight and gay becomes, in the minds of conservatives, the choice between good and evil, and becomes therefore the singular point from which they are empowered to deny our civil liberties. Take away the issue of “choice,” and admit that we are born this way… and you take away their rationale for punishment. Take away the issue of “choice,” and they would have to start treating us like human beings.

Actually, no. It's like taking away one leg from the table, but it doesn't come crashing to the ground. Convince the adversary that it's not a choice, and then we will hear the rebuttal, "some people are born prone to alcoholism or kleptomania and they didn't have a choice either - it's still a disease and it's still morally wrong, therefore it still deserves legal sanction." We won't win if the "choice" debate goes away - well, not immediately at least. We probably WILL win some percentage points in the opinion polls, but we won't immediately bury our adversaries because in the absence of one ridiculous argument, they WILL replace it with another.

The GLBT community, in all our activities and lobbying efforts, seem to pay little attention to the “B” in “GLBT,” and the reason for this becomes obvious when you look at our organizations a little more closely. Attend any PFLAG meeting around the country, or go to any gay church or activist-oriented meeting and you’ll find that while the gay, lesbian and transgendered communities are well represented, there are precious few self-identified bisexual people present.

Yes, true.

Bisexual people are frequently subsumed into the category of orientation that corresponds to the gender of their partner. Stomping your feet and reminding everyone "Hey, I'm bisexual" starts to feel ridiculous after a while, since you aren't issuing an invitation for a date on Saturday night, so what's the point. If you're bi and with a girl, they'll think you're lesbian. If you're bi and with a boy, they'll think you're straight.

So I asked myself why this might be… and the answer was so obvious that I was amazed it hadn’t occurred to me earlier. You see… you have to realize that some of us DO have a choice – there are those among us who have the luxury of being able to “pick” their own sexual orientation – and those fortunate few are called “bisexual.”

Oh no sweetie. Sorry. It doesn't work that way. :lol: I didn't choose to be bisexual. It HAPPENED TO ME just like being gay happened to you. Choice only comes into play with how one DEALS with the orientation - but just as you didn't choose to like guys and only guys, neither did I choose to like both guys AND girls.

Think about it… if you had a choice… if you were bisexual, and could chose between full equality (straight) or being a member of the persecuted class (gay), which would you choose?

I didn't. I didn't choose, Troy. Love found me. Call me weird, but I would go with whatever partner brought out the strength, the courage, and the love in me - who I trust, who I love, who I am proud call my partner. I want to be authentic on the inside and live in authenticity, not hide the essentials for the sake of outwardly getting along but at the expense of the spirit!

Don't think this means I'm unaware of all the privileges that come with being partnered with the socially appropriate gender. I'm reminded of it every day. I'm SWIMMING in heterosexual privilege, and you know what that illustrates? It illustrates how incredibly ARBITRARY is the kind of discrimination that you deal with daily. If I had but fallen in love with and settled down with a woman, they'd be heaping disdain and other shit on me. But I fell for a guy, and all is hunky-dory. They are missing the fact that I am the exact same person with the exact same values in either scenario.

So maybe the reason we don’t have more bisexuals among our ranks, joining in the good fight for equality, is due to the fact that it was easier for them to simply make the choice to be “straight,” and voila… the issue no longer affects them… they become immune to the slings and arrows and religious and social and even physical violence directed toward the GLBT community.

I don't doubt that there are some bisexuals out there who in fact HAVE made that choice. I believe that some of the "ex gays" out there who seem convinced of a change, are likely bisexual in varying degrees. There are homophobic bisexuals, sure, just as there are homophobic homos.

There are ALSO bisexuals out there who define as lesbian or gay because they fear rejection by the gay community if they recognize or admit to opposite sex attractions. That was a huge fear for me when I first came out to myself as bi. I was terrified I would be accused of betraying the gay community. So instead I pulled a disappearing act, and dropped out of activism altogether on the reasoning that "gay people won't want me once they know who I really am.:'("

And there are bisexuals who identify as lesbian or gay because that's as far as they want to go with the process of questioning and re-evaluating their orientation. I've met people who I KNOW are bisexual, and some of them insist they are straight while others insist they are gay. For them, opening up the questions again looks far too painful to bear.

Who would think such a thing? Who would honestly believe that it’s a simple matter of choice in spite of all the evidence? Well, I believe the most likely candidate is the near-forgotten “B” in “GLBT,” our bisexual brothers and sisters. Who else could “know” beyond a shadow of doubt that sexuality is a choice but those among us for which it actually IS a choice?

Here, a distinction needs to be made between sexual orientation and behavior. The behavior is a choice, the orientation is not. That's true across the board whatever orientation we are talking about. The essential difference for a bisexual person is that they CAN find a member of the socially appropriate gender with whom they can be responsive, whereas a gay person cannot. But even that is not a choice of ORIENTATION. That's a choice of PARTNER, and we all know what happens when a 100% gay person chooses an opposite sex partner.

It is ironic to me that, in spite of our inclusion of bisexuals in our ongoing struggle toward freedom, that some bisexuals, in addition to choosing the “straight” path, have also chosen to be among our most prolific adversaries – spewing hate from pulpit and judicial bench, from pen and from stage… perhaps even bringing themselves to believe that we are all, like them, blessed with the ability to make our sexual orientation a simple matter of choice. So some of the people we are trying to help liberate are also the same people who are “hell-bent” on subduing our liberty.

I'm sure that's true. Troy, please do not forget that some of our most battle-scarred warriors in the fight for equality have been, or currently are, bisexual. This dynamic operates on BOTH sides of the equation.

I say, “Enough!” I happen to be a gay man, but I don’t presume to believe or preach the ridiculous notion that all men are therefore gay. So if you happen to be bisexual, we’re simply asking that you don’t make the ludicrous assumption that all humans are similarly oriented to being able to make that choice. I’ll make a deal with you… I’ll accept your bisexuality – I’ll accept the notion that you really can choose – if you accept the fact that I can’t. How’s that for a deal?

--Troy Carlyle

Troy, can you see why this might appear to me as a rant against bisexual people as a whole? I think you mean to rail against those who are doing harm to the cause, but it almost read to me like you resent including bisexuals in this movement at all. I can't pretend to feel happy about that.

Zerbie, you said it very eloquently. Bisexual people can not turn off their attraction for both sexes. The choice come in when we choose to be faithful to our partner. If my partner happens to be the opposite sex that is not hiding. If my partner happens to be a man that doesn't mean I'll quit appreciating an attractive woman.

Troy, it also frustrates me that there are bisexual people that will not stand up and be counted. They have their nice little marriage with their nice job in the nice part of town. However, speaking in generalities about any group of people is dangerous. Many bisexual people are also activists like you.

I can see both sides now the up the down...

I understand your reactions Zerbie and Brian and how you might hear what Troy wrote in that light but don't miss what he is saying.

He is asking the question that I have often asked: "Why would anyone assume that sexual orientation is a choice?" The personal experience of the vast majority of straight people and gay people is that we "woke up that way" one day shortly after our eleventh or twefth birthday. Those of us who are gay spent huge amounts of psychological, emotional, and spiritual energy trying to change and couldn't. So WHY WOULD SOMEONE ASSUME THAT SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS A CHOICE???

One answer is the one that Troy is positing. For some (many?) people the object of sexual attraction IS a choice and those people are ASSUMING THAT EVERYONE IS LIKE THEM and some are CHOOSING to have sex with people of the same gender.

He is not saying that all bi-sexuals are bigots. he is suggesting that the possibility exists that all the homophobic bigots are bi-sexuals who assume that their experience is universal. The irony of that is of course STAGGERING. It is also amusing to imagine what would happen to the "its a lifestyle choice" argument if we started to answer it by suggesting to those who make it that "their slip is showing" :lol::lol::lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by u-dog (Post 39998)

I understand your reactions Zerbie and Brian and how you might hear what Troy wrote in that light but don't miss what he is saying.

He is asking the question that I have often asked: "Why would anyone assume that sexual orientation is a choice?" WHY WOULD SOMEONE ASSUME THAT SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS A CHOICE???

One answer is the one that Troy is positing. For some (many?) people the object of sexual attraction IS a choice :

Then you do not understand, Dave. It ISN'T a choice. We don't choose attraction!! Only whether or not we act upon it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by glbt_equality (Post 40003)

Thanks, U-Dog, for understanding. I hope you all know me well enough by now to not read between the lines any bigotry on my part. And I'm of course not suggesting that bisexuals have a choice in being bisexual. They do, however... and by definition... have a marvelous option of choosing a lifestyle. I just think that it's unfortunate that some (albeit only "some") have used that "ability" to cause harm.

That's what I thought you meant to get at. The comments seemed rather generalized, however, and even kind of angry. Having gone through a lot of fear that my orientation would be construed as threatening to the gay community, I had to make clear certain distinctions.

It hurts my heart to think that any of my friends here might take this as lashing out at you. Please accept my apologies for creating that impression and know that I was speaking to the smaller part of a larger population.

Please don't feel hurt. I didn't believe you meant it that way - but I've heard a lot of comments from gay people over the years that amount to excluding, denying, and defaming bisexuals. Some of them came from people I trusted and thought were my friends.
I wanted to make sure you understood the distinction between bisexual orientation and lifestyle choices. Seems clear that you do, and as I suspected you were after a small portion of the population. I didn't find that all too clear the first time around, and wanted to verify. I felt a need to clear the air early. Don't worry about that. Everything is fine.

I further realize that such viewpoints are destined to be controversial, and would rather drop the point alltogether than lose friendships made here, among you. I ask that you understand, however, that my purpose was to consider a viewpoint that may help all of us to better understand the larger dynamics behind the ongoing bigotry in our country... and in considering such possibilities, perhaps be better equipped to promote change. In other words... if we can better understand what is broken, we are better equipped to "fix it."

Peace and Love, Troy

:love: Don't worry, Troy. :love:

You don't have to drop it. I was anxious to clarify that you were not lumping all of us into the category of assuming you can change your orientation la dee da. It was the line "if you happen to be bisexual" in the final paragraph, which was quite generalized, that made me wonder if you were aware that some of your friends here ARE bisexual, and if you were aware of the distinction between orientation and behavior (check, and check:cool:).

Personally, I've always thought it likely that a number of self-proclaimed "ex gays" are probably bisexual, which would explain why they were able to choose an opposite sex partner and turn their back on same-sex romantic relationships with a degree of certainty that it's the real thing. It bugs me to think of people doing that and then turning around and agitating that gay folk should do likewise. No quibbles there!

Carry on.

Rats. You are way to cute for me to disagree with Troy, sigh.

I feel pretty safe here at soulforce, so I'll let you in on a secret. I identify as "gay." I've come out, at huge expense, as "gay." But I sometimes fear I might be "bisexual." That's bisexual, not ambisextrous. I say "fear" because I have never had an opportunity for a ltr to actually see for myself. I do know I'm mostly gay, the evidence is all there, but there's enough to make me question also. I actually fear being bisexual because many see bisexual people as people who have a choice. For a bisexual to choose is like saying: "which to you want to keep, your right arm or your left arm."

As Zerbie is trying to explain, it isn't like you have this wonderful choice and you can go either way, rather, you feel a loss if you don't have both. Just like you would have a real void if you were forced to be with a woman, a bisexual person has a very real void if they don't have both.

I think it is harder to be bisexual than it is to be gay in some respects.

Quote:

Originally Posted by u-dog (Post 39998)

U-dog, I did go back and re-read Troy's post a bit more closely. I do see how it can be interpreted in a kinder light. There were just some very general statements that kind of bugged me.

One day several months after I had come out to my mom as bisexual we were talking about my coming out. Mom said she understood about having attractions for the same sex when you are younger. It is an experimenting phase. Then she confessed that she had been attracted to a girl in school. Of course, she said that she grew out of that phase. She thought that I had as well. That makes me think that mummy was bisexual too. Evidently, she is an example of Troy's point.

BrianB

Quote:

Originally Posted by paul (Post 40020)

Wow, this thread just gets curioser and curiouser!!! :lol:

Speaking for me, I do not need to have ongoing relationships with partners of both sexes. I did though need to explore dating relationships with both sexes in my young single days in order to know exactly where I stood, orientationally, and how I function in relationship. Once I knew, the only matter was finding out who my partner would be, and then settling down.

Anyway, I had a VERY hard time coming out as bisexual. From my pov it would have been easier to come out as lesbian. Oh, wait, I DID that. Did that first, then came out to myself, and a year later was finally able to accept that the term "bisexual" appeared to fit. I spent about a decade rejecting the BI label, because I had real problems with it.

Speaking completely from the outside and with no personal experience, Bisexuality muddies the water a bit when trying to understand the whole Gay thing.
I have always said bisexual's are just people that can't make a commitment.
Don't get mad at me that's just the heterosexual lack of understanding coming out of me.
I tend to agree with Troy but it doesn't effect me the same as some of you which only furthers proof I have know idea what the hell I am talking about. :confused:

I do know that I run into gay men all the time who have a serious bad attitude about bisexuality ... in effect, they don't believe it exists ... it's just "code" for "I'm gay and don't want to admit it." Clearly, the B in LGBT is what used to be called the "ugly red-headed step-child" of the movement. (No offense intended to the differently-beautiful, the red-headed, or step-children ... it was not a nice expression, but it's fitting here, as there's no justification for either exclusion) I have the emotional sense that I would find it difficult to be in a relationship with a bi man, but I think that's because I'm overwhelmed at the idea of how many more people could potentially steal him from me. I truly think that our attitudes toward bisexuality are one of the big internal road blocks in our community right now. So, I try to be consciously careful about projecting my "stuff" onto bisexual people ... I pretended to like girls to hide my orientation, but that doesn't mean that every guy who likes men is "pretending" when he also likes women. (Of course I'm using "like" euphemistically here, I like women just fine ...) It's the same problem "they" have with "us" ... If I don't "get it" it can't be okay. We can't afford to have "us" and "us" divided over not "getting" each other!

Quote:

Originally Posted by sailaway58 (Post 40028)

You're making a joke about "can't make a commitment" right?

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrentRichards (Post 40034)

Thanks Brent. :love:

Can you imagine how it sucked to come out as bisexual and hope to find a date? Quite the opposite of the famous quip about twice as many dates - more like, less than HALF as many dates. Between the homophobes, the lesbians who think bisexuals are going to betray them, and the guys who are ONLY interested 'cuz they think you're gonna let them watch you with another girl or something, AAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

The wonderful thing about when things started getting serious with my husband was, I thought I'd better come out to him, so I made this big announcement and he just raised an eyebrow and said, "This is supposed to be news??? I knew you were bisexual the day I met you." :D

Yes, we exist. Of course we're capable of making commitments, and no we aren't lying when we say we're attracted to both genders.

Quote:

Originally Posted by paul (Post 40020)

I actually fear being bisexual because many see bisexual people as people who have a choice. For a bisexual to choose is like saying: "which to you want to keep, your right arm or your left arm."

As Zerbie is trying to explain, it isn't like you have this wonderful choice and you can go either way, rather, you feel a loss if you don't have both. Just like you would have a real void if you were forced to be with a woman, a bisexual person has a very real void if they don't have both.

I think it is harder to be bisexual than it is to be gay in some respects.

OMGYES. You put it SO WELL. I would love to even expand on that to show you how much I agree with you, but that's so eloquently put I don't even have the ability.

Zerbie addressed all of my major concerns after I read the initial post, so I wasn't even going to say anything, but... well, yes. Being bi is difficult, because some people DO see us as having a choice, and no, it's really like having two of your very favorite dishes set down in front of you and being told you can't have both. (Which is why I'm a fan of the idea of polyfidelity, but you wanna talk about being even MORE of an outcast...)

It's frustrating for me because a lot of lesbian women refuse to date bisexual women, thinking they'll be left for a man eventually (as if it makes them more likely to be abandoned than if another lesbian woman might abandon them for another woman), and a lot of straight guys think it's "cool" to have a girlfriend who's bi because they think they'll get their own live girl-on-girl sex show whenever they want. Eerrr...no?

So, yeah. A friend of mine has been joking about buying me a shirt that says "Bisexual Blues: We love everybody and nobody loves us." And while that's an exaggeration, it feels true sometimes. So I'm glad to see that the whole issue has been clarified, because it's oh-so-easy to be paranoid when you're used to getting criticized by both sides of the "fence."

:love:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zerbie (Post 40038)

Can you imagine how it sucked to come out as bisexual and hope to find a date? Quite the opposite of the famous quip about twice as many dates - more like, less than HALF as many dates. Between the homophobes, the lesbians who think bisexuals are going to betray them, and the guys who are ONLY interested 'cuz they think you're gonna let them watch you with another girl or something, AAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

*laughs* Oh, Zerbie. I hadn't even read your comment when I made mine. :love:

What a paradox. It's not easy to find a date as a bisexual. The only long-term relationship I have had after coming out as bi' was with another bisexual person. Gay people think that you are fence sitting. Straight people think that you're a sex maniac. Very few people are secure enough to realize that they are the one I choose to be with.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zerbie (Post 40036)

You're making a joke about "can't make a commitment" right?

yes, albeit not a very funny one

Quote:

Originally Posted by mjules (Post 40049)

OMGYES.

Zerbie addressed all of my major concerns after I read the initial post, so I wasn't even going to say anything, but... well, yes. Being bi is difficult, because some people DO see us as having a choice, and no, it's really like having two of your very favorite dishes set down in front of you and being told you can't have both. (Which is why I'm a fan of the idea of polyfidelity, but you wanna talk about being even MORE of an outcast...)

We're each going to have different expressions of our needs, relationships styles, and so on. I like to say, if there's one, there's another - no one is ever the ONLY one. A lot of my best female friends in high school came out later as bisexual and some of them were polyamorous.

It's frustrating for me because a lot of lesbian women refuse to date bisexual women, thinking they'll be left for a man eventually (as if it makes them more likely to be abandoned than if another lesbian woman might abandon them for another woman),

Irony of ironies here. I'm the bisexual one. The first great love of my life identified as lesbian.
And guess what happened?
SHE left ME. . . *for a man.* :mad:

So, yeah. A friend of mine has been joking about buying me a shirt that says "Bisexual Blues: We love everybody and nobody loves us." And while that's an exaggeration, it feels true sometimes. So I'm glad to see that the whole issue has been clarified, because it's oh-so-easy to be paranoid when you're used to getting criticized by both sides of the "fence."
:love:

It does feel true sometimes. But more than anything, I feel invisibilized. In straight company, I'm another straight chick 'cuz I got the hubby and the diamond ring as "evidence." When I'm at LGBT community events, unless someone asks, or I volunteer the word "husband" for some reason, people will sometimes (often? always?) assume I'm lesbian. I figger, the two scenarios make up for each other because all the wrong assumptions cancel each other out. But my favorite incident of assumption was when I briefly met a fellow activist in town, first at a protest which was attended almost exclusively by gays and lesbians, and later at a religion seminar. At the seminar, my husband was at my elbow, and this fellow activist who had seen me at the protest was chatting merrily away with me and made some references to me as a lesbian, while my husband stood right there listening. I just giggled and said "well I'm not really an "anything." :p:lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by mjules (Post 40051)

*laughs* Oh, Zerbie. I hadn't even read your comment when I made mine. :love:

See? We didn't even need to confer with one another to get our stories "straight." :p

Quote:

Originally Posted by BrianB (Post 40080)

I tell ya! Ain't that the truth!! It was really hard getting a date as an out bisexual, and I was a very cute and sexy 20-something girl. They shoulda been pounding on my doors.:p I suspect that it's even more difficult for bisexual men, since a lot of guys will view a female with a lesbian relationship history as sexy territory, but the converse is not so applicable for how straight women view men. :disagree:

Quote:

Originally Posted by sailaway58 (Post 40084)

yes, albeit not a very funny one

Don't you worry, Sailor. Maybe we can make commitments, but I for one couldn't figure out WHAT I WAS for a really long time. That's gotta count for some humor, somewhere. :rolleyes: