Soulforce Community Forums - Filing taxes for those who are married to someone of the same sex

So I'm staring at a TurboTax screen asking if I got married in 2007.

I am wondering how others deal with the general issue of forms and the oppression that is being coerced (or faced with penalty as is the case with filing taxes) to check the "single" box when we are married. I would like to set a goal of not letting doctors, or insurance providers, or banks, or anybody to make me designate that I'm single on their form.

That small check box is such a little thing, yet such a big way for us to deny our relationships yet again. At the very least, in the interim between now and full equality, companies should add a box after "marital status" that reads, "If married, does the federal government recognize your marriage?" Then maybe a little asterisk that says "We appreciate your business and please know that we are a progressive company and all of us from the CEO to the interns are soooooo saddened by the injustice of having to ask whether our customer's spouse is of the same sex. Please FORGIVE US and may God have mercy on us all!"

So how do you handle this issue in daily life? Since it is tax time, I've been searching on the internet and found this:

Quote:

In light of federal marriage discrimination (that is, the so-called “Defense of Marriage Act” or “DOMA”), the federal government does not consider a married same-sex couple as married for purposes of federal laws, including for filing of federal income taxes. As a result, on FEDERAL tax returns, same-sex married couples are NOT allowed to use the married filing jointly or married filing separately status, but each member of a married same-sex couple MUST file as single.

GLAD recommends, however, that couples consider designating in some way that the marriage has occurred. Ideas for designating your true marital status without claiming that status are discussed below. Doing so could help to avoid penalties for underpaying taxes and could also prevent others from using the designation of “single” on the tax return to argue or prove that a person is not really married when that issue arises in other legal contexts (i.e. applying for a mortgage or other loan). In order to acknowledge both the discriminatory federal law as well as the truth of your marriage, accountants suggest two options for designating your marital status on a “single” return:

Include a cover letter or disclosure form with the tax return. The disclosure form allows a taxpayer to highlight to the IRS issues raised by the tax return. It could include a statement that the taxpayer was married to a person of the same sex as of a certain date (and the marriage certificate could be attached as well), and that the only reason he or she is filing as a single person is because of the federal discriminatory law known as “DOMA.”
On the tax return itself, put an asterisk by the “x” in the “single” box, and indicate somewhere on the form (such as the margin) that the taxpayer is married to a person of the same sex, the date of the marriage, and that this designation as “single” is for federal income tax filing purposes only.