An Evil Force: Help
 

For some reason I feel there is some sort of force inside of me that tries t push away all the good things in my life and bring forth the bad. For example, dating people that I know were no good for me and a bad influence but I still tried to be with them, porn, lusting, giving up on myself etc. I am currently in a new relationship now and this guy is PERFECT!!! But is seemed like I'm always looking for something to be wrong with him or something tells me "he doesnt love me" blah blah blah. I am so tired of it. I wont stop. I need guidance. I pray to God but i wont go away. And it doesnt help that I over think everything. The thing is he's the one I've always been looking And on for..like really. And now that I've found him its like this force is working double time. What is this phenomenon?


Legendary

Fear
 

And the unconscious need to control your external environment because your internal one is not peaceful.

For starters, you could do several things.

1) Meditate. This is a biggie. Not the same a praying or intercession. Mediation is about Mind Training. And let me be clear about this: mind training is not about chaining your monkey mind (go google that phrase) to a fence. It's about centering yourself- or put another way- about finding your center, which is something else entirely. This takes practice. Daily practice. It's not something you do once or twice. Meditation will help you see what IS, not what your monkey mind wants to make up.

I know that it's like to have a great relationship and then mess with it so much mentally that it gets messed up. Part of being in relationship is letting the other person be who they are.

Relationship bring up all our 'stuff'. Not for nothing that skilled psychologists have observed that most people - energetically speaking- marry their parents in their first big relationship. In other words, our first relationships bring out all our crap with our parents. Why? So that it can be healed. It can be a life-long process. You learn to give the very thing you want and need.

2) Fear is a tiny voice inside your head. However, there is an even tinier voice called Love inside your heart, and you can only hear it if your head gets quiet. And your head can only get quiet through meditative practices which generate COMPASSION/LOVE for yourself first, and then to others. The Law is this: you can't give what you don't have.

Hi Legendary

Sometimes I think it can be a habit. We can get into a habit of expecting things to go wrong and someone one said 'what I most feared, happened' and I think that if we expect things to go wrong then we're almost making them go wrong by anticipating them.

Our minds are very powerful. I mean we don't just get 'turned on' by someone we fancy who walks past us. We look at them and then we think thoughts and that increases our arousal. I think it's similar with other stuff too. I mean you can almost feel the energy of someone who is depressed, it's expressed in their facial expression very often anyway and by what they say and the mood around them, but it almost pushes people away from them too.

People who are happy and bubbly often have lots of friends because it's an attractive energy. I'm not saying that you're a negative person but I think that something negative has got a hold of your mind when it comes to relationships that's all.

I don't know if anything I'm saying is helpful but I know that in my life I've had to make a decision (many decisions) about various feelings and thoughts I've had and it's moved me forward and helped me be back in control of my fears.

Try and enjoy what you have now and today and try not to spoil it by worrying about what might happen tomorrow. Remember how important you are in G-d's eyes and focus on Him and not so much about your relationship. My confidence has come from Him and who He is rather than what He can do to help me. Then when I look at my life I can see how He has been helping me without me even being aware of it. Hope that's makes sense.

Cxx

Ok both of you have helpful advice. Its just really hard cause it ruins everything and also. What about where the bible says your heartr can be deceitful. My pastor at church believes this to be one of the reasons gays feel the way thery do because our hearts are deceiving us. I just thought that your heart was always right? In that case could my heart be this force..idk....its very confusing. I also though Jesus taught of love therefore how can love be wrong? This is hard and is exactly why I'm on a spiritual journey..I'm looking for the RIGHT answers.

When Jesus talks about 'the heart' as being 'deceitful' - the 'heart' in hebrew often means the mind and our thoughts NOT our heart as in the feelings and emotions that love bring. It's important to have a little understanding of the hebrew and thr greek to properly understand the english translations, which are sometimes misleading.

Our human minds often mislead us. That is why G-d says that His thoughts and His ways are greater than ours, who can know them. It's important that we read and study scripture for ourselves and I certainly wouldn't rely on a pastor to guide me, when G-d can speak to us directly. We can discuss scriptures with our pastor or rabbi and one another and it's good to do this but when it brings confusion which seems to be what you have at the moment it's possibly not of G-d. G-d is the author of peace. Jesus came to bring us peace and is the prince of peace. If you're feeling confusion and fear then it could be that you need to spend a little time - even if it's just 5 minutes to be alone and open the scriptures or pray quietly or pour your heart out to G-d. He will hear you and help you. Try maybe not to hurry and rush into and out of prayer but wait in His presence for a short while (few minutes) so He can restore you and give you His peace and refresh you.

You may not be seeing clearly because of the fear you have but G-d can help you be calm. He hears you. :pray: Be patient and see how He can help you.

Also, I have to say that I totally disagree with your pastor regarding gays being deceived by their hearts - that is only an opinion and has no scriptural basis or evidence. It's his own interpretation of that particular scripture, but there is no evidence that this is what it is talking about. There is no reference to homosexuality - if it doesn't say it then it's a guess and is probably coming from his prejudices.

Cxx

Stop listening to other people!
 

Especially pastors, authorities, experts and other would be know-it-alls- which includes this writer. Only you can decide what is right for you.

And to be blunt, your pastor it full of crap! The only confusing thing is when we listen to everyone instead of ourselves.

The Kingdom is within, right? Look there and nowhere else. Another reason to meditate. ;)

The Shining Boy Within
 

Find a teacher that helps you to see the shining boy within. He /she may be in a place where you least expect to find it.

Normally I don't post much to other people's threads because all I have to add is ignorance. But in this case I believe that your fear is one maybe of committment. On one hand, you would like to be in a committed relationship with someone, but on the other hand, you don't trust your instincts to know when the 'right' person is in your grasp. The best advice I could give you is to live in the moment. If something doesn't work out, it doesn't work out, and you move on. As perfect as this guy might be for you, there could be another right around the corner who is better if the relationship doesn't go just the way you want it. So enjoy it while it lasts, and if it is forever great if not it was great while it lasted. That philosophy can free you from worrying the relationship to an early grave and give you good perspective for if it was never meant to be.

There's absolutely no evidence that any evil forces exist that can magically occupy people's minds and bodies and makes them do bad things. The idea is nonsense. That's why praying won't make it go away because it's not there to begin with. To believe it's there deflects from the real problem which is flawed thinking.

You might want to check out the website link below about how to analyze your thoughts and determine when flawed thinking produce self-defeating behavior.

Good luck.

http://www.criticalthinking.org/arti...g-a-critic.cfm


Rick

Hi there Legendary. So you are in a relationship with a great guy--congratulations!! Will things go wrong at times, will you have disagreements? Assuming this thing lasts for some time, yeah you will. That's life.

I understand fear. I've lived with it much of my years and am still overcoming it day by day. Interestingly, I talked with a Native American shaman last night from whom I am buying a custom-made drum. She asked me about traits I wanted to get rid of and I named fear. Rabbit is invoked against fear in Native spirituality, and rabbit tracks are going on my drum, as well as skunk (invoked against low self-esteem :) . I've been told so many times that if we expect bad, that's probably what we'll get. Follow your heart, and I agree with the others, pay no attention to hompophobic "spiritual leaders." They are frauds and not worthy of your time and veneration.

Evil Force GOD Help Your Child
 

if you end up being a paraplegic, instead of god letting you die from your injuries, it is his will no? who are you to question his will?

Since no gods are actually talking to us, the only way we know "God's will" is through an ancient text written by men hundreds of years ago. So, where's the evidence that this text is God's will? The men who wrote the text said that they were inspired by God.

Yes. Of course. Who are we to question that?

Rick

You've just been hijacked.
 

Hey Legendary,
This is just a possible explanation.

You may just have had an "amygdala hijack."

"The amygdala is the “fight or flight” and emotional memory part of the brain. Its job is to protect by comparing incoming data with emotional memories. An amygdala hijack occurs when we respond out of measure with the actual threat because it has triggered a much more significant emotional threat. For instance, the amygdala will react similarly to the threat of being eaten by a tiger (physical threat) and the threat of an ego attack (emotional threat) by bringing on the fight or flight reaction.

When one experiences an amygdala hijack, the amygdala overtakes the neocortex (the thinking part of the brain) and there’s little or no ability to rely on intelligence or reasoning. The effect is that energy is drawn exclusively into the hijack. The immediate result of a hijack is a decrease in working memory. Adrenaline is released and will be present and effective for 18 minutes, and other hormones are released into the bloodstream that will take 3-4 hours to clear."

http://lifeatthebar.wordpress.com/20...ygdala-hijack/

So your boyfriend may say "What did you do today?" (or something innocuous) and your emotional memory pattern is triggered based on something you make up or that happened to you years ago and you get hijacked. You react to a question as if there is a literal threat of violence. Heart rate goes up, muscles clench, hands sweat, breathing shortens... and it was just a question.

That might be part of it.

The other part of it, is that you simply don't have an emotional memory pattern that is consistent with being in a loving, vibrant, creative, supportive relationship. So when that is happening, your brain wants to normalize the situation and to get you back into a situation where it "knows" what to expect... i.e. drama, being alone, being miserable, etc. Your brain knows what all of that is like and "it" (not you) would choose the safety of the "known" versus the risk of the unkown.

All there is to do is notice you're getting hijacked, acknowledge it, give it up and create something. "Wow, he said "how was your day?" and I was immediately upset, like he was gonna get me or something. I just got hijacked. Well, that's not what I'm committed to. I'm going to create being courageous/creative/sensuous/etc. instead."

Now, you are at choice in your life... instead of being driven by your lizard brain (the amygdala.)

Legendary,

Our brains can sometimes do things that make us behave in self-defeating ways. I think Nathan has some sound advice that makes good sense. I think you can benefit by checking it out.

Rick

No God talking
 

Rick,

I'm curious to understand how you came to the conclusion that no God's speak to us. How do you explain "intuition"?