Greatest Stumbling Block
 

This could quote is perfect as it applies to heterosexuals that accept homosexuals but wouldn't work for equality. I've heard a guy from the Illinois national guard say that he knows banning gays from the military is wrong, but that if you forced it on the military, they would reject it and there would be chaos. Well, we all know the same "chaos" happened with the integration of African-Americans, and the inclusion of woman.

However, I think the gay-friendly heterosexual is only our SECOND greatest stumbling block. The winner for first-prize goes to the "satisfied homosexual", who may go to gay bars, read gay newspapers, but refuses to "get political". I know plenty of these. Their view on the religious right is "you can't change their minds so just ignore them."

Many times a GLBT person may be living in a gay neighborhood and watch gay movies and TV, and think that things have changed for the better, therefore the gay rights struggle is over. They seem to ignore the many places in the country where gay people still live in fear. Our difficult job is to get these people to see we still have a long way to go and they need to get involved.

Rick

I agree with you Rick. I'm involved right now in a campaign to defeat an anti-gay initiative and the most discouragement I get is from gay people. 99% of the straight people I've approached about the amendment immediately came out strongly in opposition, grabbed my literature and put the buttons on their shirts.

But some of the gay people I approached about it refused to take the literature, some "explained" to me that "these issues are very controversial, you see Zerbie, don't expect support" and some flatly waved me off saying, "Oh honey, I don't care about THAT."

My passion for LGBT activism has cost me a few friendships with people who were uncomfortable it. One was straight, the others were all gay friends who pulled away when I got "political."

Ten years ago when I first became involved in LGBT activism, it was an openly gay person who took me aside and lectured me to get out, I quote, "Don't ruin your life trying to help people like me. We aren't worth it."

Deflecting the issue
 

A very dear friend of mine has an interseting way of defending her reluctance to join in any LGBT actions (she's a lesbian, I am trans)
She states flatly that GLBT sounds like some sort of wierd sandwich and insists that 'categorizing' ourselves as part of a minority group compromises us. She insists that we must work for 'human rights for all' rather than fighting for the rights that are denied as lesbians, gays, bis and trans.

I agree that rights for all would be ideal, but we need to address that which is closest to us, the fight that we could so easily lose waiting for the world to grant everyone rights.

Actually, Gwen, I agree with your friend! Yet since the mess is here, let's deal with it. Ultimately, my own involvement in LGBT activism is in order to get BEYOND the LGBT sandwich (I used to think I was the only one who thought that sounded like a weird kind of deli sandwich!). I am not at all interested in politics. That's why I am an activist: to clean the world up a bit so I can exercise my right not to be an activist.

That's all very well and is a good attitude, as far as it goes. If you use it to justify picking your battles and not necessarily always fighting for the rights of your own demographic (for example trying to combat racism or social exclusion in poor areas) then it's very laudable. But if you use it as a reason to avoid any and all specific activism - an excuse to sit in your armchair and say "It's no use trying to fight the battles, what we have to do is win the war" - then it's a bit of a cop-out. You can't win the war without fighting battles.

yeah. I wasn't saying you can "win" the change by unplugging completely, there needs to be some work done. Perhaps your friend needs to go through a phase when she pulls away from it all, and someday in the future she might get involved. I just took 4 years off from LGBT activism, and came back to it a year ago completely re-charged. But for all that appearances suggest I buy into the identity politic very strongly, philosophically I think it's silly, and am involved in identity politics only in order to get back to living beyond them. So in that sense, my philosophy is similar to your friend's.

This may not be the case with your friend, Gwen, but sometimes I think the issue is that we don't want to speak the word gay or we don't want to use the word lesbian, bi, or transgender while engaging folks we perceive as conservative. I feel that is telling of internal homophobia in our lives. I still believe internalized homophobia is one of the top problems in our community. Not too long ago, I was startled when something happened to make me realize that there was still some internal homophobia in me.

Anyway, here in Kentucky when we were out going door to door talking with voters last November about the constitutional amendment to ban same-gender marriage and civil unions, they specifically told us to use the word gay in our conversations and not to be content with just using equality, fairness, human rights, etc. I think that was a good move.

Okay Jamie thank you - you've steered this thread back towards it's original point, which is that there are tremendous obstacles to overcome in the gay community as well as in the wider world.

The campaign I'm volunteering for now is the most intensive I've ever seen and now is the first time I've ever been really highly visible for my LGBT activism, and - wow! It's emotionally exhausting, and we've only just begun! I was not prepared for the fact that I have an emotional reaction after every public coming-out, whether it was my first public speech last month, or interviews with journalists, sometimes even just from sharing with my fellow volunteers at our meetings. . .afterward, I feel all kinds of negative emotions I wasn't expecting: anxiety, fear, insecurity, self-doubt, a feeling like I've "transgressed" against what my mother taught me about speaking out for gay rights. Ay yi yi! It's scary being out there in the political scene. Much scarier than just coming out to your friends, and that can be scary enough.

Everyone has their natural temperment, and there are certain things one personality can handle that another person can't, and so on. Besides "apathetic" gays who are unwilling to be involved politically out of something like laziness or selfishness, there must be massive numbers of LGBT people who simply haven't got the leftover resources, emotional, financial, whatever, to involve themselves in a struggle. Just coming out is a struggle, and day to day living can be a struggle.