Sorry for dredging up bad, painful thoughts and memories. I just wanted to defend you and tell you that I know where you are coming from with an ex who won't live and let live. I am just saying to them-get over yourself and move on. Life is too short to live it eaten up with anger and disappointment. So your ex is gay-find someone who isn't, get married or whatever and shut up about it already.
I truly hope your stbx will leave you alone soon or at least be willing to work with you. I don't know you, but you seem to be a decent guy who just happens to be working it out being gay and being a dad. We are all on a journey and all need grace. I will pray for an extra helping of that for you as you go through this rough time. Been there.