I think that I'm fortunate in that I haven't faced blatant hatred for being out. One of the things I feared most while I was in the closet was that I would be outted and that everyone, including those whom I loved, would hate me. I ended up in therapy with an eating disorder (thanks to the hatred I had for myself) about a year before I came out, and the outting wasn't really my choice, I was outted. What I found at that point was an acceptance and love from people that I thought would never embrace me as a gay man.
Now, about 2 years later, I find that I can insert relevant information into conversations. I don't get on the soapbox, but I do talk about how discrimination hurts me, and others, and ultimately our entire community, not just LGBT. Sometimes the conversation doesn't take off, and some times it does, but I always have the feeling that I may have given the person something to think about. and if you can get people to start thinking, that's a good thing, right?