pre-emptive defense ?
Wow. I am sorry to hear you have had so many opprotunities to test such a principle... Have you considered moving to (who knows? ya take the good with the bad. Does safety=boredom?)
You make sense, particularly : "where if the person persists in action they will be knowing we first offered them love and compassion."
That is a wonderful way to put it.
Self defense, or defense of another is the only violence I have ever thought of as justifiable. And that only to the least degree needed to stop it. Revenge is a justice best left to God.
To push the topic to another (please don't let me actually face) level, what do you think about a pre-emptive "effort" to stop violence? If you had overheard those rock throwing creeps in the planning stage, or the classic quandry, would/could/should one have been able to kill Hitler, had they foreseen the horror he caused (as some probably did), what extent of stoppage power do you think is justified? (assuming you haven't persuaded them out of it)...